谁有简单又短的英语故事，带翻译和语音。急急急急！！！！！！！！！！ 两分钟的英语小故事（带翻译）急！！！！！！！！！！
\u627e\u77ed\u4e00\u4e9b\u5e26\u7ffb\u8bd1\u7684\u82f1\u8bed\u5c0f\u6545\u4e8b \u6025\u7528\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01A MOLE, a creature blind from birth, once said to his Mother: "I am sure than I can see, Mother!" In the desire to prove to him his mistake, his Mother placed before him a few grains of frankincense, and asked, "What is it?' The young Mole said, "It is a pebble." His Mother exclaimed: "My son, I am afraid that you are not only blind, but that you have lost your sense of smell.
\u53c2\u8003\u8bd1\u6587\uff1a\u5c0f\u9f39\u9f20\u548c\u5988\u5988
\u4f20\u8bf4\u9f39\u9f20\u7684\u773c\u775b\u662f\u778e\u7684\uff0c\u53ef\u5c0f\u9f39\u9f20\u5374\u5bf9\u5988\u5988\u8bf4\u4ed6\u80fd\u770b\u5f97\u89c1\u3002\u5988\u60f3\u8bd5\u9a8c\u4ed6\u4e00\u4e0b\uff0c\u4fbf\u62ff\u6765\u4e00 \u5c0f\u5757\u9999\u55b7\u55b7\u7684\u98df\u7269\uff0c\u653e\u5728\u4ed6\u9762\u524d\uff0c\u5e76\u95ee\u4ed6\u662f\u4ec0\u4e48\u3002\u4ed6\u8bf4\u662f\u4e00\u9897\u5c0f\u77f3\u5934\u3002\u6bcd\u4eb2\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u554a\uff0c\u4e0d\u5e78 \u7684\u5b69\u5b50\uff0c\u4f60\u4e0d\u4f46\u773c\u775b\u770b\u4e0d\u89c1\uff0c\u8fde\u9f3b\u5b50\u4e5f\u6ca1\u7528\u4e86\u3002\u201d \u8fd9\u6545\u4e8b\u662f\u8bf4\uff0c\u90a3\u4e9b\u7231\u5439\u725b\u8bf4\u5927\u8bdd\u7684\u4eba\uff0c\u5e38\u5e38\u5938\u6d77\u53e3\u80fd\u505a\u5927\u4e8b\uff0c\u5374\u5728\u4e00\u4e9b\u5fae\u4e0d\u8db3\u9053\u7684\u4e8b\u60c5 \u4e0a\u66b4\u9732\u4e86\u672c\u8d28\u3002
Tags: \u82f1\u8bed\u7ae5\u8bdd\u6545\u4e8b ,
| Class:story | click: 4
\u53cc\u8bed\u683c\u6797\u7ae5\u8bdd\uff1a\u72fc\u548c\u4eba
Publisher:lthldm Date:2009-07-10
Once upon a time the fox was talking to the wolf about the strength of man, how no animal could withstand him, and how all were obliged to employ cunning in order to protect themselves from him.
The wolf answered, "If I could see a man just once, I would attack him nonetheless."
"I can help you to do that," said the fox. "Come to me early tomorrow morning, and I will show you one."
The wolf arrived on time, and the fox took him out to the path which the huntsman used every day. First an old discharged soldier came by.
"Is that a man?" asked the wolf.
\u4ece\u524d\u6709\u53ea\u72d0\u72f8\u5411\u72fc\u8c08\u8d77\u4eba\u7684\u529b\u91cf\uff0c\u8bf4\u6ca1\u6709\u52a8\u7269\u80fd\u62b5\u6321\u5f97\u4e86\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u4ed6\u8ba4\u4e3a\u6240\u6709\u52a8\u7269\u90fd\u5fc5\u987b\u65bd\u5c55\u8ba1\u8c0b\u624d\u80fd\u4fdd\u62a4\u81ea\u5df1\u3002\u53ef\u72fc\u56de\u7b54\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u5047\u5982\u6211\u6709\u673a\u4f1a\u78b0\u5230\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u6251\u4e0a\u53bb\u8ba9\u4ed6\u65e0\u6cd5\u62b5\u6321\u3002\u201d\u72d0\u72f8\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u53ef\u4ee5\u5e2e\u4f60\u78b0\u5230\u4eba\u554a\u3002\u660e\u65e9\u4f60\u65e9\u70b9\u6765\u6211\u5bb6\uff0c\u6211\u628a\u4ed6\u6307\u7ed9\u4f60\u770b\u3002\u201d
\u7b2c\u4e8c\u5929\uff0c\u72fc\u5f88\u65e9\u5c31\u6765\u4e86\uff0c\u72d0\u72f8\u5e26\u5b83\u6765\u5230\u730e\u4eba\u6bcf\u5929\u7684\u5fc5\u7ecf\u4e4b\u8def\u3002
\u4ed6\u4eec\u78b0\u5230\u7684\u7b2c\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u662f\u4e2a\u9000\u5f79\u8001\u5175\uff0c\u72fc\u95ee\uff1a\u201c\u90a3\u662f\u4e2a\u4eba\u5417\uff1f\u201d
Tags: \u72fc\u548c\u4eba \u4e2d\u82f1\u53cc\u8bed\u6545\u4e8b ,
When someone disagrees with you or offends you, don\u2019t lose your temper. Why? Because it is of no use to do so. You ought to (should) be patient and keep calm lest you should quarrel with him. You must know that patience is not cowardice, but a virtue. I hope that everybody practices it.
In addition, patience will also bring us success. When you meet with difficulties in your work, it is no use losing heart. You must keep on fighting until (till) the final victory belongs to you.
\u5f53\u6709\u4eba\u548c\u4f60\u610f\u89c1\u4e0d\u540c\u6216\u5f00\u7f6a\u4f60\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u4f60\u5207\u4e0d\u53ef\u53d1\u813e\u6c14\u3002\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\uff1f\u56e0\u4e3a\u8fd9\u6837\u505a\u662f\u65e0\u7528\u7684\uff08\u7528of no use\uff09\u3002\u4f60\u5e94\u5f53\u5fcd\u8010\u5e76\u4e14\u4fdd\u6301\u51b7\u9759\uff0c\u552f\u6050\u548c\u4ed6\u4e89\u5435\u3002\u4f60\u5fc5\u987b\u77e5\u9053\u5fcd\u8010\u4e0d\u662f\u5f31\u800c\u662f\u4e00\u79cd\u7f8e\u5fb7\u3002\u6211\u5e0c\u671b\u4eba\u4eba\u90fd\u5b9e\u884c\u5b83\u3002
\u53e6\u5916\uff0c\u5fcd\u8010\u4e5f\u4f1a\u5e26\u7ed9\u6211\u4eec\u6210\u529f\u3002\u5f53\u4f60\u5728\u5de5\u4f5c\u4e2d\u906d\u9047\u5230\u56f0\u96be\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u7070\u5fc3\u662f\u65e0\u7528\u7684\u3002\u4f60\u5fc5\u987b\u7ee7\u7eed\u4f5c\u6218\u76f4\u5230\u6700\u540e\u80dc\u5229\u5c5e\u4e8e\u4f60\u4e3a\u6b62\u3002
Tags: \u751f\u6d3b\u6545\u4e8b , \u751f\u6d3b\u6587\u7ae0 ,
The Saltwater Room \u2014 Owl City
I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
\u6628\u5929\u665a\u4e0a\u6211\u7741\u5f00\u773c\u775b\u770b\u5230\u4f60\u5728\u660f\u6697\u7684\u706f\u5149\u4e0b
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren\u2019t there anymore
\u6f2b\u6b65\u5728\u6d77\u6e7e\uff0c\u7ad9\u5728\u5cb8\u4e0a\uff0c\u51dd\u671b\u7740\u90a3\u4e9b\u4e0d\u518d\u4f1a\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u7684\u98de\u673a
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold Like an introvert
\u6211\u611f\u89c9\u591c\u95f4\u7a81\u7136\u957f\u5927\uff0c\u4f60\u770b\u8d77\u6765\u5f88\u51b7\uff0c\u6027\u683c\u5185\u5411
I drew my over shirt Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
\u6211\u7a7f\u7740\u6211\u7684\u65e7\u4f53\u6064
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
\u51b2\u5411\u9ed1\u6697\u7684\u5730\u9053
All the subways around create a great sound
\u8eab\u8fb9\u7684\u5730\u94c1\u53d1\u51fa\u5f88\u5927\u7684\u58f0\u97f3
To my motion fatigue: farewell
\u5bf9\u6211\u75b2\u60eb\u7684\u8eab\u5fc3\u8bf4\u518d\u89c1
Tags: The Saltwater Room , \u82f1\u8bed\u6587\u7ae0 ,
http://k.pconline.com.cn/question/812752.html
1Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn\u2019t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, \u201cExcuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?\u201d The man smiled. He didn\u2019t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I can\u2019t understand you.\u201d
\u4e0a\u5468\uff0c\u5e03\u83b1\u514b\u592b\u4eba\u53bb\u4e86\u4e00\u8d9f\u4f26\u6566\u3002\u5979\u4e0d\u592a\u719f\u6089\u4f26\u6566\uff0c\u7ed3\u679c\u5979\u8ff7\u8def\u4e86\u3002\u7a81\u7136\u5979\u5728\u4e00\u4e2a\u516c\u5171\u6c7d\u8f66\u7ad9\u9644\u8fd1\u770b\u89c1\u4e00\u4f4d\u7537\u5b50\u3002\u5979\u6025\u5fd9\u5411\u8fd9\u4f4d\u7537\u5b50\u8d70\u53bb\uff0c\u8bf4\u9053\uff1a\u201c\u52b3\u9a7e\u60a8\u4e00\u4e0b\uff01\u8bf7\u60a8\u544a\u8bc9\u6211\u53bb\u533b\u9662\u7684\u8def\uff0c\u597d\u5417\uff1f\u201d\u8fd9\u4f4d\u7537\u5b50\u7b11\u4e86\u3002\u4ed6\u542c\u4e0d\u61c2\u82f1\u8bed\u3002\u4ed6\u6765\u81ea\u5fb7\u56fd\u3002\u4f46\u662f\u4ed6\u5c06\u624b\u4f38\u8fdb\u4e86\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u8863\u888b\u91cc\uff0c\u4ece\u91cc\u9762\u638f\u51fa\u4e86\u4e00\u672c\u82f1\u8bed\u8bcd\u5178\u3002\u4ed6\u67e5\u627e\u5230\u4e86\u4e00\u4e9b\u5355\u8bcd\u3002\u7136\u540e\u4ed6\u4e00\u5b57\u4e00\u53e5\u5730\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u5f88\u62b1\u6b49\u6211\u542c\u4e0d\u61c2\u4f60\u8bf4\u7684\u8bdd\u3002\u201d
2.Speeding
A speeding motorist was waved down by a police patrol car. \u201cI'm going to give you a ticket for speeding,\u201d said the policeman, writing his note. \u201cYou've been driving over 60 miles per hour.\u201d
\u201cWould you mind making it 100, officer?\u201d was the reply. \u201cYou see, I'm going to sell the car.\u201d
\u8d85\u901f\u884c\u9a76
\u4e00\u540d\u8d85\u901f\u884c\u9a76\u7684\u9a7e\u9a76\u5458\u88ab\u5de1\u903b\u8b66\u8f66\u62e6\u4f4f\u540e\uff0c\u8b66\u5bdf\u4e00\u8fb9\u505a\u8bb0\u5f55\uff0c\u4e00\u8fb9\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u8981\u7ed9\u4f60\u5f00\u4e00\u5f20\u8d85\u901f\u7f5a\u5355\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a\u4f60\u521a\u624d\u7684\u8f66\u901f\u5df2\u7ecf\u8d85\u8fc7\u4e8660\u82f1\u91cc\u3002\u201d
\u201c\u8b66\u5b98\uff0c\u8bf7\u4f60\u628a\u65f6\u901f\u5199\u4e3a100\u82f1\u91cc\u597d\u5417\uff1f\u4f60\u77e5\u9053\uff0c\u6211\u6b63\u8981\u6253\u7b97\u5356\u8fd9\u8f86\u8f66\u3002\u201d
A Brother Like That
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile
from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve
when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin[1] was
walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas."
The boy was astounded[2]. "You mean your brother gave it
to you and it didnt cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ."
He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He
was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the
lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother
like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment[3], then
impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my
car?"
"Oh yes, Id love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow
[4], said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my
house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad
wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride
home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will
you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard
him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was
carrying his little crippled[5] brother. He sat him down
on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him
[6] and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy[7], just like I told you
upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it
didnt cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you
one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all
the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been
trying to tell you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of
his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside
him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride.
That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when
he said: "It is more blessed to give[8] . . . "
\uff0d\uff0dDan Clark
\u6ce8\u91ca\uff1a
1\uff0eurchin\uff1a\u6dd8\u6c14\u9b3c\uff0c\u987d\u7ae5\uff0c\u5c24\u5176\u662f\u6307\u7537\u5b69\u5b50\u3002\u6bd4\u5982\uff0ca street
urchin\uff0c\u8857\u5934\u6d41\u6d6a\u513f\u3002
2\uff0eastounded\uff1aastound\uff0c\u4f7f\uff08\u4eba\uff09\u5927\u5403\u4e00\u60ca\uff0c\u4f46\u5b83\u4e00\u822c\u591a\u7528\u4e8e\u88ab\u52a8
\u8bed\u6001\u3002He was astounded at the news.\u90a3\u6d88\u606f\u8ba9\u4ed6\u5927\u5403\u4e00\u60ca\u3002
3\uff0ein astonishment\uff1a\u548cin surprise\u610f\u601d\u5dee\u4e0d\u591a\uff0c\u8868\u793a\u5f88\u60ca\u8bb6\u3002\u4f46
\u5403\u60ca\u7684\u7a0b\u5ea6\u8981\u6df1\u4e00\u4e9b\u3002
4\uff0eaglow\uff1a\u8fd9\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a\u5f62\u5bb9\u8bcd\uff0c\u5b83\u7684\u610f\u601d\u662f\u201c\u70bd\u70ed\u7684\uff0c\u8138\u4e0a\u53d1\u70ed
\u7684\u201d\u3002
5\uff0ecrippled\uff1acripple\u5373\u53ef\u4f5c\u540d\u8bcd\uff0c\u4e5f\u53ef\u4f5c\u52a8\u8bcd\uff0c\u610f\u4e3a\u8ddb\u5b50\uff0c\u6216\u4f7f
\u8ddb\u8db3\u3002\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u7528crippled\uff0c\u662f\u7528\u5206\u8bcd\u505a\u5f62\u5bb9\u8bcd\uff0c\u8ddb\u8db3\u7684\u3002
6\uff0esqueezed up against him\uff1asqueeze\u662f\u6324\u538b\u7684\u610f\u601d\uff0c\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\uff0c\u5f88
\u5f62\u8c61\u5730\u8bf4\u660e\u5c0f\u7537\u5b69\u7d27\u7d27\u62b1\u7740\u8ddb\u811a\u7684\u5f1f\u5f1f\uff0c\u6015\u4ed6\u6454\u5012\u4e86\u3002
7\uff0ebuddy\uff1a\u8001\u5144\uff0c\u8001\u5f1f\u3002\u8fd9\u662f\u7f8e\u56fd\u4fda\u8bed\u4e2d\u5e38\u89c1\u7684\u8bf4\u6cd5\uff0c\u4e00\u822c\u53ea\u7528\u4e8e
\u6253\u62db\u547c\u3002
8\uff0eIt is more blessed to give\uff1a\u65bd\u6bd4\u53d7\u66f4\u6709\u798f\u3002\u7ed9\u4e88\u662f\u4e00\u79cd\u5e78
\u798f\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a\u4f60\u662f\u5bcc\u6709\u7684\uff0c\u8fd9\u79cd\u5bcc\u6709\u901a\u5e38\u8ddf\u8d22\u5bcc\u65e0\u5173\uff0c\u66f4\u4e3b\u8981\u7684\u662f\u7cbe\u795e
\u4e0a\u7684\u5bcc\u6709\u3002
\u5185\u5bb9\uff1a
\u54e5\u54e5\u7684\u5fc3\u613f
\u5723\u8bde\u8282\u65f6\uff0c\u4fdd\u7f57\u7684\u54e5\u54e5\u9001\u4ed6\u4e00\u8f86\u65b0\u8f66\u3002\u5723\u8bde\u8282\u5f53\u5929\uff0c\u4fdd\u7f57\u79bb\u5f00\u529e\u516c\u5ba4\u65f6\uff0c\u4e00\u4e2a\u7537\u5b69\u7ed5\u7740\u90a3\u8f86\u95ea\u95ea\u53d1\u4eae\u7684\u65b0\u8f66\uff0c\u5341\u5206\u8d5e\u53f9\u5730\u95ee\uff1a
"\u5148\u751f\uff0c\u8fd9\u662f\u4f60\u7684\u8f66\uff1f"
\u4fdd\u7f57\u70b9\u70b9\u5934\uff1a"\u8fd9\u662f\u6211\u54e5\u54e5\u9001\u7ed9\u6211\u7684\u5723\u8bde\u8282\u793c\u7269\u3002"\u7537\u5b69\u6ee1\u8138\u60ca\u8bb6\uff0c\u652f\u652f\u543e\u543e\u5730\u8bf4\uff1a"\u4f60\u662f\u8bf4\u8fd9\u662f\u4f60\u54e5\u9001\u7684\u793c\u7269\uff0c\u6ca1\u82b1\u4f60\u4e00\u5206\u94b1\uff1f\u5929\u54ea\uff0c\u6211\u771f\u5e0c\u671b\u4e5f\u80fd\u2026\u2026"
\u4fdd\u7f57\u5f53\u7136\u77e5\u9053\u7537\u5b69\u4ed6\u771f\u60f3\u5e0c\u671b\u4ec0\u4e48\u3002\u4ed6\u5e0c\u671b\u80fd\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u8c61\u90a3\u6837\u7684\u54e5\u54e5\u3002\u4f46\u662f\u5c0f\u7537\u5b69\u63a5\u4e0b\u6765\u8bf4\u7684\u8bdd\u5374\u5b8c\u5168\u51fa\u4e4e\u4e86\u4fdd\u7f57\u7684\u610f\u6599\u3002
"\u6211\u5e0c\u671b\u81ea\u5df1\u80fd\u6210\u4e3a\u9001\u8f66\u7ed9\u5f1f\u5f1f\u7684\u54e5\u54e5\u3002"\u7537\u5b69\u7ee7\u7eed\u8bf4\u3002
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"\u54e6\uff0c\u5f53\u7136\u597d\u4e86\uff0c\u6211\u592a\u60f3\u5750\u4e86\uff01"
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A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我负责
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
Skunk
"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"
臭 鼬
“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来？”
“弄一些面包屑，”调度员说，“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门打开。”
一段时间后，那位居民又将电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗？”调度员问。
“没有，”打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”
Patience
Angler: You've been watching me for three hours now. Why don't you try yourself?
Onlooker: I haven't got the patience.
耐 性
垂钓者：你已经盯着看了三个小时了，你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢？
旁观者：我没那耐性。
Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
睡前祷告词
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“上帝，求求你，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她的话说：“朱莉叶，为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答道：“因为我在地理考卷上是这样写的。”
Things Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."
"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?"
"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."
一切都正常
一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开品说话，他们对此深感焦虑。他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：“妈妈，面包烤焦了。”
“你说话了!你说话了!”他母亲叫了起来。“我太高兴了!但为什么花了这么长的时间呢？”
“哦，在这之前，”那男孩说，“一切都很正常。”
That's Why
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."
Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty.
"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!"
One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?"
"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
原来如此
吉米三岁开始画画，五岁时已经画得很好了。他画了很多美丽而有趣的画，人们出高价购买。他们说，“这个孩子长大一点肯定会出名，我们可以靠这些画大赚一笔。”
吉米的画与众不同。因为他从来不在整张纸上作画。他只画一半的纸，而另一半他总空着。
“构思多么巧妙啊!”大家都说，“从来没有人这么做过。”
有一天，一个人买了吉米的画，然后问他：“请告诉我，吉米，你为什么总是在纸的下半部分画画，而不是在纸的上半部分？”
吉米说，“因为我个头小，够不着上面。”
A Trip to Disney
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."
迪斯尼之族
弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。
当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说：“再见，美奇。”
女儿挥着手说，“再见，美妮。”
丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道：“再见，美元。”
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
势均力敌
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”
这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。
令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片!
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”
两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
Why he couldn't leave?
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.
The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."
"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
他为什么不走?
在一个很多人参加的会议中,刚开始演讲者说得非常有趣,但渐渐地,他说得越来越令人厌烦.结果,当会议结束的时候,大会议室里只剩一个人了.
演讲者走过去跟那个人说:”谢谢你,其他人都走了,只有你还在听我说.”
“噢,别客气.”那个人回答说,”我不走,是因为我是下一位演讲者!”
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绛旓細13銆乼here锛 and I want to make sure she can find merdquo鐭瘒鑻辫鏁呬簨鐩稿叧1 缁忓吀鐨勮嫳璇皬鏁呬簨 2 绠鍗曠殑鑻辫灏忔晠浜 3 鑻辨枃鍔卞織鐭瘒灏忔晠浜嬬簿閫 4 鐭瘒鐨勮嫳鏂鐨勫姳蹇楀皬鏁呬簨 5 鍔卞織鐭瘒鑻辨枃灏忔晠浜甯︾炕璇銆14銆侀潚鏄ュ姳蹇楃煭鏂鑻辫缈昏瘧绀煎皻寰鏉 鎴戞鍦ㄤ竴瀹堕キ棣嗗悆楗紝鎵樺凹鏂拏灏旇蛋浜嗚繘鏉ユ墭灏兼浘鍦ㄥ張瀹跺緥甯...
绛旓細姹30涓鑻辫灏鏁呬簨,瑕佸甫涓枃缈昏瘧,澶х害50-60瀛,闈炲父鎰熻阿!3涓洖绛 #鐑# 鏃ユ湰閫犲亣琚墥鍑虹殑浜嬫湁澶氬皯?鎭嬩笂鈥斿皬榫欑帇 2011-02-22 路 TA鑾峰緱瓒呰繃410涓禐 鐭ラ亾绛斾富 鍥炵瓟閲:1 閲囩撼鐜:0% 甯姪鐨勪汉:0 鎴戜篃鍘荤瓟棰樿闂釜浜洪〉 鍏虫敞 灞曞紑鍏ㄩ儴 椋庡拰澶槼(The Wind And The Sun) One day the wind ...
绛旓細鈥淲ell, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though.鈥滼ust then a little boy piped up and asked, 鈥淲hat's his number?鈥濇瘡涓槦鏈熷ぉ锛岀墽甯堥兘浼氬湪鏁欏爞鍓嶉潰鍙泦涓缇ゅ瀛愶紝缁欎粬浠涓涓鏁呬簨銆傛湁涓娆★紝涓轰簡...
绛旓細濡堝鍥炲鍚庯紝闂亾锛氣滄湁璋佹潵杩囩數璇濆悧?鈥"Yes," said Jimmy, "a man, but he only wanted to talk to Billy."鈥滄湁鐨勶紝鈥濇澃绫宠锛氣滀竴涓敺浜烘墦鏉ョ殑锛屽彲鏄粬鍙姹傝窡姣斿埄璇磋瘽銆傗绠鍗曠殑涓夊勾绾鑻辫鏁呬簨甯︾炕璇锛氬瀛愮殑鐓х墖 A busines *** an entered a bar and ordered a double wine. After ...
绛旓細姹鑻辫灏鏁呬簨甯︾炕璇銆佹渶濂借繕鏈夌偣瀵撴剰 鎴戞潵绛 5涓洖绛 #鐑# 鑱屽満涓婂彈濮斿眻瑕佷笉瑕佷负鑷繁瑙ｉ噴? 绱犵礌绱犵礌涓朵付 2011-12-25 鐭ラ亾绛斾富 鍥炵瓟閲:17 閲囩撼鐜:0% 甯姪鐨勪汉:3.7涓 鎴戜篃鍘荤瓟棰樿闂釜浜洪〉 鍏虫敞 灞曞紑鍏ㄩ儴 鐙愮嫺鍜岃憽钀 The fox and the grapes楗ラタ鐨勭嫄鐙哥湅瑙佽憽钀勬灦涓婃寕鐫涓涓蹭覆鏅惰幑...
绛旓細鍙傝璇戞枃锛氬皬榧归紶鍜屽濡 浼犺榧归紶鐨勭溂鐫涙槸鐬庣殑锛屽彲灏忛脊榧犲嵈瀵瑰濡堣浠栬兘鐪嬪緱瑙併傚鎯宠瘯楠屼粬涓涓嬶紝渚挎嬁鏉ヤ竴 灏忓潡棣欏柗鍠风殑椋熺墿锛屾斁鍦ㄤ粬闈㈠墠锛屽苟闂粬鏄粈涔堛備粬璇存槸涓棰楀皬鐭冲ご銆傛瘝浜茶锛氣滃晩锛屼笉骞 鐨勫瀛愶紝浣犱笉浣嗙溂鐫涚湅涓嶈锛岃繛榧诲瓙涔熸病鐢ㄤ簡銆傗 杩鏁呬簨鏄锛岄偅浜涚埍鍚圭墰璇村ぇ璇濈殑浜猴紝甯稿父澶告捣鍙ｈ兘鍋...
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