给女朋友讲故事个笑话逗她开心的有没有，朋友们帮帮忙吧 谁给我几个爆笑的笑话！我哄妹纸开心，帮帮忙吧！！
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ahead\u201d\u3002 \u90a3\u4eba\u60f3\uff1a\u201cGo ahead=\u524d\u8fdb\uff0c\u8001\u603b\u662f\u6279\u51c6\u4e86\u3002\u201d\u4e8e\u662f\u4ed6\u5f00\u59cb\u6253\u70b9\u884c\u674e\u3002 \u4e00\u4e2a\u540c\u4e8b\u89c1\u5230\u4e86\u4ed6\u95ee\uff1a\u201c\u4f60\u5728\u505a\u4ec0\u554a\uff1f\uff1f\u201d\u4ed6\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u51c6\u5907\u51fa\u56fd\u8003\u5bdf\uff0c\u8001\u603b\u6279\u51c6\u4e86\uff0c\u7ed9\u6211\u5199\u4e86\u2018Go ahead\u2019\u3002\u201d 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\u6211\u6253\u4e86\u5f88\u4e45\uff0c\u8bf7\u91c7\u7eb3
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
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ahead\u201d\u3002 \u90a3\u4eba\u60f3\uff1a\u201cGo ahead=\u524d\u8fdb\uff0c\u8001\u603b\u662f\u6279\u51c6\u4e86\u3002\u201d\u4e8e\u662f\u4ed6\u5f00\u59cb\u6253\u70b9\u884c\u674e\u3002 \u4e00\u4e2a\u540c\u4e8b\u89c1\u5230\u4e86\u4ed6\u95ee\uff1a\u201c\u4f60\u5728\u505a\u4ec0\u554a\uff1f\uff1f\u201d\u4ed6\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u51c6\u5907\u51fa\u56fd\u8003\u5bdf\uff0c\u8001\u603b\u6279\u51c6\u4e86\uff0c\u7ed9\u6211\u5199\u4e86\u2018Go ahead\u2019\u3002\u201d \u540c\u4e8b\u4e00\u89c1\u6761\u5c31\u4e50\u4e86\uff1a\u201c\u54b1\u4eec\u8001\u603b\u6839\u672c\u5c31\u6ca1\u6279\u51c6\uff01\uff01\u54b1\u8001\u603b\u7684\u82f1\u8bed\u6c34\u5e73\u4f60\u8fd8\u4e0d\u77e5\u9053\uff0c\u4ed6\u8fd9\u662f\u5728\u8bf4\u53bb\u4e2a\u5934\uff01\u201d\u3000\u3000\u3000\u300010\u3001\u7267\u5e08\u5bf9\u4e70\u4e86\u4ed6\u9a6c\u548c\u9a6c\u8f66\u7684\u519c\u592b\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u8fd9\u5339\u9a6c\u53ea\u80fd\u542c\u61c2\u6559\u4f1a\u7684\u8bed\u8a00\uff0c\u53eb"\u611f\u8c22\u4e0a\u5e1d"\u5b83\u5c31\u8dd1;\u53eb"\u8d5e\u7f8e\u4e0a\u5e1d"\u5b83\u624d\u505c\u4e0b\u3002\u201d\u519c\u592b\u5c06\u4fe1\u5c06\u7591\uff0c\u4ed6\u8bd5\u7740\u558a\u4e86\u4e00\u58f0\u611f\u8c22\u4e0a\u5e1d\uff0c\u90a3\u5339\u9a6c\u7acb\u523b\u98de\u5954\u8d77\u6765\uff0c\u8d8a\u8dd1\u8d8a\u5feb\u3002\u4e00\u53ea\u8dd1\u5230\u60ac\u5d16\u8fb9\u4e0a\u60ca\u6050\u7684\u519c\u592b\u624d\u60f3\u8d77\u8ba9\u5b83\u505c\u4e0b\u6765\u7684\u53e3\u4ee4\u201c\u8d5e\u7f8e\u4e0a\u5e1d\u201d\u3002\u679c\u7136\uff0c\u9a6c\u505c\u4e0b\u6765\u4e86\u3002\u6b7b\u91cc\u9003\u751f\u7684\u519c\u592b\u957f\u51fa\u4e00\u53e3\u6c14\uff1a\u201c\u611f\u8c22\u4e0a\u5e1d\u2026\u2026\u2026\u201d\u6211\u6253\u4e86\u5f88\u4e45\uff0c\u8bf7\u91c7\u7eb31 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"I played for a long time, please
1从前有一个人叫阿爽。他死掉了。
出殡那天。
他的家人哭喊：‘
爽阿……爽阿。’
路人不解。问道：‘伱们爽什么阿。’
家人痛哭流涕：‘爽死了……爽死了!!
2小明：“爸爸，我是不是傻孩子啊？”
爸爸：“傻孩子，你怎么会是傻孩子呢……”
3经典笑话：这个蚂蚁
有一天一个蚂蚁正在晒太阳，突然看见大象慢悠悠的
走来
，忙起身伸直前腿，旁边的兔子忙问你在干吗呢？
蚂蚁说：“嘘~~~~~~~
小声点
看我拌他一脚”
深爱你的人，自然会变得主动，自然会心甘情愿为你付出，不需要你多言，而不爱你的人，哪怕你为他做了很多事，他还是不为所动。
对于深爱你的人来说，他会把你放在第一位，他会给你时间与陪伴，他会把你看得很重要，他会给你他所能给的全部。
深爱着你的男人，才会为你付出这些东西，要珍惜！
他愿意为你付出时间
每个人的时间都是有限的，每个人的时间都会花在重要的人和事上，如果你是那个重要的人，他自然会愿意为你付出时间，愿意花时间陪伴你，而不会觉得这是浪费时间。
而对于那个没那么爱你的人，他可能不会把你看得很重要，自然也就不愿意多为你付出，他只会觉得做这些都是毫无意义的。
感情是相互的，在她愿意为你付出时间的同时，你是不是也应该为她做些什么？如果你连这点时间都抽不出来，那么就放她走吧。
他愿意给你全部的爱
“爱”这个字看起来容易，做到却很难，有些人只是嘴上说爱你，但却从来没有过任何行动，而对于一个深爱你的人来说，他会为你付出全部的爱，他会把世界上最好的都给你。
从喜欢上你那一刻，你就成了他最重要的那件事，保护你，不让你受伤害，给你全部的爱，让你幸福，这就是他最想做的事情。
当你遇到危险时，他总是会第一个冲出来，站在你身边护着你，哪怕自己也会因此有危险，他也绝无怨言；
当你心情不好时，他总是会第一时间赶来，陪在你身边，哪怕只是和你简单地聊聊天，你也会因此心情变得舒畅一些；
当你在工作中遇到难题时，他总是会耐心地替你分析，帮你找出问题所在，希望你能少烦心。
这样无微不至的照顾，就是真爱无疑了，也只有深爱你的人才能这样为你付出，不爱你的人做不到这样细致地关怀。
深爱你的人，才会如此付出，他会愿意为你付出时间，他会愿意为你付出金钱，他会给你全部的爱。
如果一个人不够爱你，他是做不到这些的，他或许会嘴上一直说着多么爱你，但却从未有过半点行动，这样的人谈不上深爱。
深爱你的人，会小心翼翼，深爱你的人，会有很多小情绪，深爱你的人，会给你关心和爱护，深爱你的人，会把你看作最重要的一件事。
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绛旓細2銆佷竴濂冲涓戯紝瀚佷笉鍑哄幓锛屽笇鏈涜鎷愬崠銆傜粓浜庢ⅵ鎯虫垚鐪燂紝鍗村崐鏈堝崠涓嶅嚭鍘汇傜粦鍖皢鍏堕佸洖锛屽ス鍧氬喅涓嶄笅杞︼紝缁戝尓鍜墮涓璺鸿剼锛氳蛋锛岃溅涓嶈浜 3銆20骞村墠鐖哥埜鎶辩潃浣犵瓑杞︼紝浜洪兘绗戣瘽瀛╁瓙闀垮緱闅剧湅锛岀埜鐖稿摥浜嗐備竴鍗栭钑夌殑鑰佸ぇ鐖锋媿鎷嶇埜鐖璇锛氣滃ぇ鍏勫紵鍒摥浜嗭紝鎷垮彧棣欒晧缁欑尨瀛愬悆鍚э紒鐪熷彲鎬滐紝楗跨殑閮芥病姣涗簡銆傗4銆...
绛旓細缁欏コ鏈嬪弸璁鐨勭畝鐭瑧璇,鐢峰鍦ㄨ拷姹傚枩娆㈢殑濂冲鏃,瑕佹兂璁濂瑰紑蹇璧锋潵,灏卞彲浠ュ湪骞虫椂澶氭敹闆嗕竴浜涘搫濂冲瀛寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽,杩欐牱鐢峰瀛愯窡濂冲瀛愬湪涓璧风殑鏃跺,灏卞彲浠ラ殢鏃舵嬁鍑烘潵璁茬粰濂冲瀛愬惉浜嗐傜幇鍦ㄥ垎浜竴绡囧叧浜庣粰濂虫湅鍙嬭鐨勭畝鐭瑧璇,鏉ョ湅鐪嬪惂銆 缁欏コ鏈嬪弸璁茬殑绠鐭瑧璇 绡1 1銆佲滄垜濂介毦杩,瑙夊緱鑷繁澶氫綑銆傗 鈥滄庝箞浼,浣犻暱寰楀張...
绛旓細閫楀コ鏈嬪弸寮蹇冪殑灏绗戣瘽鏈変互涓嬶細1銆佺瑧璇濅竴銆傝佷笀浜烘潵瀹堕噷锛屾垜浠惞浜嗗崐澶╃墰锛屼粬闂細鏈夌儫鍚楋紵鎴戞憞鎽囧ご銆備粬鍙堥棶锛氭湁閰掑悧锛熸垜鍙堟憞鎽囧ご銆備粬涓鎷嶆瀛愶細娌℃湁浣犱笉浼氬幓涔板晩锛佹垜璇锛氳涓嶆槸浣犻椇濂虫妸閽卞叏绠＄潃浜嗭紝浣犱互涓烘垜浼氬湪杩欓噷闄綘璇村崐澶╃殑璇濓紒浠栵細鎴戦挶瑕佷笉鏄兘琚綘濡堢鐫锛屾垜浼氭潵杩欏効缁欎綘闂叉壇铔嬶紵
绛旓細10銆佸攼鍍у彇缁忓洖鏉ワ紝濯掍綋绾风悍鏉ラ噰璁匡紝闂粬锛氬湪浼楀缇庡コ闈㈠墠锛屼綘鏄浣曞仛鍒版矇鐫鍐烽潤鐨?鍞愬儳鏃犲鍦扮瑧閬擄細娌″姙娉曞憖锛岄潰瀵瑰叏鍥藉嚑鍗佷嚎瑙備紬锛屾垜鏈夊績涔熸病鑳嗗憖!閫楀コ鏈嬪弸寮蹇冪殑鏁呬簨绗戣瘽2 绡1 1銆佹柊鏉ヤ簡涓涓尯婕備寒鐨勫コ鍚屼簨锛屼竴鐢峰悓浜嬪湪濂硅窡鍓嶅挸浜嗕咯澹般傚ス寰堟俯鏌斿湴璇锛氣滄劅鍐掍簡锛熲濆悓浜嬫湁鐐瑰叴濂嬶細鈥滄仼锛...
绛旓細涓撲笟瀵瑰彛 缁忕悊瀵硅佹澘璇达細鈥滃悏鎭╂柉杩欏浼欑畝鐩翠笉鍙晳鑽!浠栨暣澶╂墦鐬岀潯锛屾垜閮界粰浠栨崲浜嗕笁涓伐浣滈儴闂ㄤ簡锛屽彲浠栦粛鐒舵伓涔犱笉鏀广傦細鈥濃滆浠栧幓鍗栫潯琛ｅ惂銆傚湪浠栬韩涓婃寕涓鍧楀箍鍛婄墝锛氫紭璐ㄧ潯琛ｏ紝褰撳満绀鸿寖銆傗濊佹澘璇淬傛偀璇細鑱屽満娌℃湁鏃犵敤鐨勪汉锛屽彧鏈夌敤閿欏湴鏂圭殑浜恒傚搫濂冲瀛愬紑蹇冪殑绗戣瘽鏁呬簨 绡2 瀹夌湢鑽 棰滃鎲旀偞...
绛旓細鑳藉閫濂虫湅鍙寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽鑳藉閫楀コ鏈嬪弸寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽,濡傛灉鎴戜滑鎶婂コ鏈嬪弸鎯圭敓姘斾簡鎬庝箞鍔,绛旀褰撶劧鏄搫濂逛簡,閭ｄ箞濡備綍鍝勫ス鎵嶆湁鏁堝憿,涓嬮潰灏辩粰澶у鍒嗕韩鍑犱釜鑳藉閫楀コ鏈嬪弸寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽,涓璧峰涔犺捣鏉ュ幓璁缁欏コ鏈嬪弸鍚,璁濂瑰紑蹇鍚с傝兘澶熼楀コ鏈嬪弸寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽1涓銆佹湁浜哄杺浜嗕竴鍙功楣,寰堣仾鏄庛備竴澶╂湅鍙嬫潵鎵句粬,鎸変竴涓嬮棬閾冨悗,鍚埌閲岄潰鏈変汉...
绛旓細8銆佷綘鎯冲彂璐㈠悧锛熶綘鎯充氦妗冭姳杩愬悧锛熶綘鎯冲綋瀹樺悧锛熶綘鎯充竴澶滄垚鍚嶅悧锛熶綘鎯虫案淇濋潚鏄ュ悧锛熶綘鎯宠鍏ㄤ笘鐣岀殑浜洪兘涓轰綘鐤媯鍚楋紵涓嶈鐬庢兂浜嗭紝娲楁礂鑴氱潯鍚э紒9銆佹煇鐢风敓缁欏悓鐝煇鍙嬬敓鍙栧鍙凤紝鍙儢鐚紝濂崇敓鍚鑰佸笀鍝瘔锛岃佸笀绛斿簲瀵硅鐢风敓鎵硅瘎锛岀浜屽ぉ鏁欏笀鍦ㄧ彮涓婅鏌愮敺鐢熷お娌＄ぜ璨岋紝闅忎究缁欏埆浜鸿捣澶栧彿锛屾讳笉鑳藉埆浜鸿薄鍟...
绛旓細骞介粯绗戣瘽锛岃瑷璇欒皭锛鏁呬簨鐢熷姩锛岀煭灏忕簿鎮嶏紝鍚戞潵鍙楃兢浠庡枩鐖便1銆佷竴澶╋紝鐢峰弸楠戞懇鎵樿溅鍒板湴閾佸彛鏉ユ帴鎴戯紝鎴戞晠鎰忛棶锛氣滃笀鍌咃紝鍒拌姳鍥皬鍖哄灏戦挶锛熲濈敺鍙璇锛氣滀笉瑕侀挶锛屽彧瑕佷翰鎴戜竴涓嬪氨濂戒簡銆傗濅簬鏄垜浜蹭簡浠栦竴涓嬶紝涓婁簡浠栫殑杞︺傛梺杈逛竴涓滄懇鐨勨濆笀鍌呭偦浜嗙溂锛屽ソ蹇冨湴鎻愰啋鎴戯細鈥滃皬濮戝锛屼笉瑕佷笂褰撳晩锛佲2銆...
绛旓細閫楀コ瀛╁瓙寮蹇冪殑绗戣瘽 绡1 1銆佲滄垜鏄ㄥぉ鍘荤湅鍖荤敓浜嗐傗 鈥滃摝!鍖荤敓鎬庝箞璇?鈥 鈥滃尰鐢熻锛屼綘鐪嬪浜嗘病?!鈥 2銆侀潚骞撮棶绂呭笀锛氣滄垜宸ヤ綔寰堝姫鍔涳紝浣嗘槸浜嬩笟涓婃病鏈変竴鐐规垚灏憋紝鎬庝箞鍔?鈥 绂呭笀璇达細鈥滀節鍗佸害寰堢儹锛屼絾鏄繖鏍风殑姘存俯锛岃兘璁╂按娌歌吘鍚?鈥 闈掑勾鐣ヤ竴娌夊悷锛岃锛氣滄垜鍦ㄦ媺钀ㄩ暱澶х殑銆傗 3銆佸皬绾㈠灏忔槑璇:...
