郭德纲相声《舞蹈家》台词 急求 郭德纲 学舞蹈 台词
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u600e\u4e48\u914a\u7740
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4e3b\u8981\u662f\u5979\u4eec\u8df3\u7684\u4e0d\u884c
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u559c\u6b22\u6211\u5e72\u5417
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6536\u5f92\u5f1f \u6211\u6559\u7ed9\u4f60\u554a
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u591a\u65b0\u9c9c\u5450
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6211\u8003\u8003\u4f60
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8bf4\u4ec0\u4e48\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u771f\u6b63\u90a3\u821e\u5385 \u4ec0\u4e48\u6837\u513f
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u55e8 \u8fd9\u6709\u4ec0\u4e48 \u821e\u5385\u561b
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4f60\u6ca1\u53bb\u8fc7\u4f60\u8bf4\u4e0d\u4e0a\u6765
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8c01\u8bf4\u7684 \u4e00\u8fdb\u53bb\u5927\u73bb\u7483\u95e8\u513f \u4e0a\u8fb9\u513f\u662f\u7ea2\u7eff\u706f\u95ea\u70c1 \u5e95\u4e0b\u90a3\u662f\u6253\u8721\u7684\u5730\u677f \u5468\u56f4\u5440 \u6709\u4e00\u5708\u513f\u5c0f\u6c99\u53d1
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u5c0f\u4e50\u961f?
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u554a
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u54e6\u4e0d\u4e0d\u4e0d \u6ca1\u90a3\u4e2a \u90a3\u53eb\u897f\u4e50
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u54e6~
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u94a2\u7434 \u624b\u98ce\u7434 \u5c0f\u63d0\u7434\u4e48
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6709\u4e50\u961f\u6307\u6325
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u662f\u4e0d\u662f
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u662f
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u6f02\u4eae
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u90fd\u542c\u4ed6\u7684
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5bf9
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u51c6\u5907\u597d\u4e86\u5417
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u51c6\u5907\u597d\u4e86
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u9884\u5907~ \u9f50! \u5f53\u5f53\u90a3\u4e2a\u91cc\u683c\u513f\u9686\u5600\u549a\u554a~~
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u54e6\u4e0d\u4e0d\u4e0d\u4e0d\u4e0d..\u505c\u505c\u505c\u505c\u505c... \u554a \u4ed6\u5f97\u662f\u821e\u66f2\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4f60\u6765\u6765
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u4f60 \u4f60\u6bd4\u65b9\u8bf4\u5427
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u554a\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u6e9c\u51b0\u5706\u821e\u66f2
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u54e6
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5600~\u54d2\u54d2~ \u5f53~ \u8fbe\u5600~ \u5654\u5654~\u8fbe\u5654\u5654~ \u5600\u4ee3\u5600\u8e6c~
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u8e66\u64e6\u64e6 \u8e66\u64e6\u64e6.....
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8036?\u884c\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6709\u677f\u6ca1\u677f
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5982\u679c\u884c\u7684\u8bdd \u8fd9\u4e48\u7740 \u4eca\u513f\u5728\u8fd9\u513f \u7ed9\u54b1\u4eec\u5404\u4f4d\u8df3\u4e00\u56de\u4ea4\u8c0a\u821e \u600e\u4e48\u6837\u554a? \u8df3\u5f97\u4e86\u561b
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6765\u5440
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u6765
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u8df3\u5c31\u8df3\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u54b1\u4fe9\u5440
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5b66\u4e00\u5b66\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5927\u7537\u5927\u5973
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u600e\u4e48\u8fd8\u5927\u7537\u5927\u5973\u554a
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4e00\u4e2a\u7537\u7684\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u7684?
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6211\u7537\u7684
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5509 \u55ef?
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u5927\u7537
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u54ea\u513f\u4f60\u5c31\u5927\u7537\u5450
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u600e\u4e48\u5566
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u4e00\u822c\u7684\u6765\u8bf4
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8fd9\u7537\u7684 \u90fd\u6bd4\u8fd9\u5973\u7684 \u5f97\u9ad8\u4e00\u70b9\u513f \u4f60\u770b \u77a7\u89c1\u6ca1\u7528 \u4f60\u77a7 \u5509 \u752d\u62ac\u811a \u8fd9\u662f\u81ea\u7136\u707e\u5bb3 \u6ca1\u6551
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u77ee\u4e0d\u5c11\u4e86
\u3000\u3000\u7532: \u5b66\u4e2a\u5973\u7684
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u6dc6\u5973\u7684
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u5927\u5973\u4e86
\u3000\u3000\u4e59: \u5bf9
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u55ec \u8fd9\u56de\u5c31\u5927\u5973
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u5927\u5973\u5427
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\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u54ce~
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u68b3\u4e2a\u5c0f\u8fab\u513f
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u600e\u4e48\u4e86
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u54df
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4e00\u8e72\u8eab
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u5f80\u540e\u9760\u7740\u70b9\u513f
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\u3000\u3000\u7532: (\u52aa\u5634)
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\u3000\u3000\u7532: (\u4e0d\u7406\u4f1a)
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8fd9 \u8fd9\u8c01\u5f97\u7f6a\u5979\u4e86\u8fd9\u662f \u54ce \u4f38\u624b \u8d70\u554a \u597d\u561b \u7334\u513f \u7736\u7684\u53e6\u4ee3\u53e6\u53ee\u5802...... \u8001\u5bb6\u4f4f\u5728\u82b1\u679c\u5c71 \u6253\u5f00\u4e86\u706f\u513f \u5f00\u5f00\u4e86\u5f26 \u62ff\u4e00\u4e2a... \u56af!
\u3000\u3000\u7532: (\u7ffb\u8ddf\u6597)
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u8fd9\u54ea\u4f4d\u628a\u7334\u513f\u5e26\u8fdb\u6765\u4e86
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u8df3\u821e\u8fd8\u6709\u89c4\u77e9 ?
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u90a3\u5f53\u7136\u4e86 \u6211\u8fd9\u513f\u7ed9\u4f60\u884c\u793c \u4f60\u7ad9\u8d77\u6765\u8fd8\u793c \u54b1\u4fe9\u5c31\u5f00\u59cb\u8df3 \u4e00\u8fb9\u513f\u8df3\u4e00\u8fb9\u513f\u804a\u554a
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u54e6
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\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u54b1\u4fe9\u80fd\u641e\u51fa\u5bf9\u8c61?
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u90a3\u5f53\u7136\u5566
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u4e0d\u53ef\u80fd!
\u3000\u3000\u4e59\uff1a\u90a3\u518d\u6765\u5440
\u3000\u3000\u7532\uff1a\u6765\u5440
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于：是啊，这不快过年了吗
郭：对，天也不早，人也不少，郭德纲，于谦在这给诸位朋友拜年了，过年好（拱手）
于：过年好（拱手）
郭：（静下来之后）于老师是好人啊……（坏笑）
于：一听这话我就感觉要坏。
郭：没有，我夸你呢，听着点，别闹
于：真准备夸我？
郭：那是，于老师相声说的好啊，
于：没有，没有，过奖了。
郭：在相声圈，于老师被尊称为“相声皇后”
于：啊？
郭：多大气的称谓啊！
于：什么呀！
郭：观众多瞧得起你啊！
于：都把我瞧成女的了是吗？我还真秀气。
郭：爱妃~（脸带坏笑）
于：谁是你爱妃啊，我是男的。
郭：男的？那不要紧的，别叫相声皇后了，叫相声公公吧
于：公公？那还不如皇后呢！
郭：那再改，（稍微一想）哎！（拍手）相声皇太子！怎么样？
于：不怎么样，您是相声皇帝是吗？
郭：哪有的事，不能这样捧啊，我就是一个普通说相声的
于：还是比较谦虚的。
郭：那是应该的，观众再怎么捧咱们，咱们也要认清自己，把心态摆正。
于：说的太对了。
郭：还有些喜欢咱们的观众说咱们组合是“黄金搭档”。
于：对，这是说咱们俩配合默契。
郭：是，但是我现在听见这些个人保健品的事吧，唉……（长叹）
于：呵呵，过去的事咱不提了，这一页翻过去了
郭：你以为我真往心里去吗?
于：嗨，那你叹什么气啊？
郭：男儿当自强，叹气是没有用滴~（哼哼男儿当自强的音乐）
于：哎我说，您这怎么唱上了？
郭：这话怎么说的？
于：什么怎么说的？
郭：我是一名了不起的音乐家。
于：您不是说相声的吗？
郭：那是刚才。
于：呵！您这角色变得可太快了。
郭：这些年我一直活跃在流行乐坛的第一线啊。
于：是吗？您都唱过哪些歌？
郭：我不唱歌
于：那您是？
郭：我负责创作
于：哦，不知道这第一线的歌曲有哪些是您创作的？
郭：这个张口就来啊，太多了
于：您说说
郭：两只于谦
于：啊？两只？
郭：于谦爱大米
于：啊？
郭：这该死的于谦，这个歌最解恨。
于：我招你惹你了？
郭：于谦很忙，（唱）于谦很忙的~~~（牛仔很忙最后一句）
于：这都是什么乱七八糟的？净写我了是吗？
郭：后来人家说这些歌不好卖，得包装，得改
于：可不是得改
郭：那怎么办？除了于谦我还能写什么呢？（认真思考）
于：就光会折腾我是吗？
郭：写不出新词来那怎么办？便宜转手了吧，卖给别人了。
于：两只蝴蝶，老鼠爱大米，这该死的温柔，牛仔很忙，这些歌是您原创的？
郭：别乱说啊，回头又有人告我说我侵权。
于：嗨，不至于。
郭：我就这么一说，你就这么一听，咱图个乐呗。
于：我图什么乐了？
郭：其实创作歌曲是很难的，创作的时间长了往往会失去灵感。
于：是。
郭：有一天我创作的很苦闷，决定出去遛弯去。
于：找灵感
郭：对，我走着走着，感觉脚底下突然一软
于：怎么了这是？
郭：当我低下头的时候，一坨金黄色的物体映入了我的眼帘。（惊讶）
于：嗨！那就是踩屎了！
郭：注意你的素质，舞台上怎么能讲这么三俗的话？
于：这可是您先说的这么恶心的事！
郭：我这个生气啊，新买的耐克鞋啊！
于：是吗？
郭：原价八百多啊！
于：够贵的。
郭：打完折八十。
于：打一折啊？地摊货吧？
郭：讨厌，我是没带那双鞋，带了我扔你脸上
于：你这才三俗呢你知道吗？你太恶心了。
郭：唉，真是一失足成千古粪啊
于：千古粪啊？
郭：千古恨，对，我很恨这个粪，我粪恨！
于：好嘛，感情这“愤恨”是打这变过来的。您这词汇都是哪来的啊？
郭：我正生气正恨着呢，突然灵感来了啊！
于：是吗？
郭：我张口就唱啊！
于：怎么唱的？
郭：我指着那坨物体：（唱）你这该死的于谦~~
于：去你的吧！
学跳舞吧？
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