一个关于parachute的英文笑话，跪求原文 求一篇将俄罗斯笑话史的文章 俄文版的.求大神啊...
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1.The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday\uff08\u4e0d\u77e5\u4f60\u6ee1\u610f\u5417)
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1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
人物有差 但大概说的是那个意思了
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
有一个人在英国考驾照因为分心没听清楚教练跟他说什么，但是好象教练叫他:"Turn left.'于是她就重复了一遍:'Yuor meaning is let me turn left " 教练说:"Right!"于是乎那人方向盘一往右打就撞树上了~
ghj百度地图
绛旓細parachute锛屼腑鏂囧悕涓闄嶈惤浼銆傛垚绔嬫椂鍚勪綅鎴愬憳杩樺湪璇诲ぇ瀛︼紝褰撲粬浠瘯涓氬悗锛屽拰鐖变箰涔愰槦銆佽绉颁负澶╂墠濂虫瓕鎵嬫潨鑿层佽嚜鎴戦鏍兼瓕鎵嬮┈鐗.鍐呮妫互鍙婁箶鎭╅害鍏嬪姵鍏嬫灄涓璧峰贰鍥炴紨鍞便傚崟鏇诧細under countrol琚綔涓哄Ξ缁撮泤鐨勬姢鑲ゅ搧骞垮憡鏇诧紝鏄湪鏃朵唬骞垮満鍚屼竴浜涘悕姝屾墜涔愰槦姣旇禌涓劚棰栬屽嚭 鑾峰緱璧勬牸銆傞寮犱笓杈戙妉ose sleep銆嬪湪2009...
绛旓細璺充紴鍗忎細 association 鑻盵əˌsəʊʃiˈeɪʃn] 缇嶽əˌsoʊʃiˈeɪʃn]n. 鑱旀兂; 鍗忎細锛岀ぞ鍥; 鑱斿悎锛岃仈绯;[渚嬪彞]Research associations are often linked to a particular industry.鐮旂┒鍗忎細甯镐笌鏌愪釜鐗...
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绛旓細Won鈥檛 tell anybody how you turn my world around.I won鈥檛 tell anyone how your voice is my favorite sound Won鈥檛 tell anybody, won鈥檛 tell anybody They want to see us fall, they want to see us fall.Cause I don鈥檛 need a parachute Baby, if I鈥檝e got you Baby, if ...
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