求一个短一点又搞笑的相声！！！！！ 求一个短点的搞笑对口相声如题 谢谢了
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\u4e59\uff1a\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u5440\uff1f \u7532\uff1a\u5982\u679c\u4ed6\u4e5f\u6765\u4e86\uff0c\u90a3\u4e48\u5927\u7684\u6f14\u64ad\u5385\u5c31\u53ea\u5269\u4e0b\u4e24\u4e2a\u4eba\u62c9\uff01 \u4e59\uff1a\u4eba\u90fd\u5230\u54ea\u513f\u53bb\u4e86\uff1f \u7532\uff1a\u4e00\u770b\u5230\u8001\u62c9\u767b\u5c31\u90fd\u8dd1\u4e86\u5440\uff01 \u4e59\uff1a\u90a3\u600e\u4e48\u8fd8\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u5440\uff1f \u7532\uff1a\u90a3\u5c31\u662f\u90a3\u4e2a\u5927\u660e\u661f\u5440\uff01 \u4e59\uff1a\u5230\u5e95\u662f\u8c01\u5440\uff1f \u7532\uff1a\u8fd8\u4e0d\u5c31\u662f\u90a3\u4e2a\u4e0d\u6015\u6b7b\u7684\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\u5440\uff01 \u4e59\uff1a\u554a\uff01\u662f\u6211\u5440\uff01\uff01\uff01 \u7532\uff1a\u4e0d\u662f\u4f60\u8fd8\u6709\u8c01\u5440\uff1f
《反正话》甲：相声是一门语言艺术，
乙：对
甲：相声演员讲究的是说学逗唱，这相声演员啊！最擅长说长笑话，短笑话，俏皮话，反正话。
乙：这是相声演员的基本功啊
甲：相声 演员啊，脑子得聪明。灵机一动马上通过嘴就要说出来，
乙：对对对对
甲：嘴皮子也要利索
乙：是啊
甲：像您这个
乙：我特别合适
甲：什么合适啊，这嘴唇，像鞋低子似的！
乙：有那么厚嘴唇子吗？
甲：像你这嘴说相声不合适，
乙：谁不合适啊，告诉你，脑袋聪明
甲：是啊
乙：嘴皮子利落，
甲：你啊
乙：说什么都行！
甲：你别吹，我当着个位老师和同许我来考考你，咱们来一段反正话
乙：什么叫做反正话呢？
甲：就是我说一句话，你把这句话翻过来再说一遍，能说上来就算你聪明！
乙：咱们可以试试
甲：说来就来，我的桌子
乙：。。。。。。
甲：我的桌子
乙：我的桌子
甲：唉，你怎么这么笨啊，我说我的桌子，你就要说我得子桌
乙：哦，我明白了
甲：明白啦！下面我们开始。从头说到脚！看你反映怎么样啊！
乙：没问题！
甲：我脑袋
乙：我呆脑，我呆头呆脑的啊！
甲：我脑门子，
乙：我没脑子！
甲：我眼眉
乙：我没眼！
甲：我眼珠
乙：我猪眼，不像话啊！
甲：我鼻子
乙：我子鼻
甲：我鼻梁子
乙：我量鼻子， 我量他干吗啊！
甲：我觜！
乙：。。。。。。 我咬你！
甲：咬我干什么啊！
乙：这一个字的怎么翻啊！
甲：那依您的意思呢?
乙：得说字儿多的
甲：哦，字多一点，好了！我觜里又牙
乙：我牙里又觜，我成妖怪了！你换的词儿行不行啊，
甲：不说这个啊？咱们报一回小说人物！
乙：哪不小说呢?
甲：咱们就报一回《西游记》里得人名。
乙：您来吧！
甲：我是唐三奘
乙：我是奘三唐
甲：我是猪八戒
乙：我是戒八猪
甲：我是沙和尚
乙：我是和尚三，我怎么又成三个和尚了！
甲：我是孙猴子
乙：我是猴孙子！你说点好的！
甲：点好的，咱俩逛逛花园，报报花名
乙：逛花园？那好啊
甲：可在逛花园之前我有一个要求，
乙：什么要求！
甲：速度要比刚才快一点另外要带上动作。
乙：带动作我会啊，是这样吗（参着甲，像恋人一样在舞台上走一圈）
甲：什么啊！我是说在逛花园的时候要用这两个手指头指着自己的鼻子，得美一点，得这样（动作），会吗？
乙：没问题，我这人最会美了！
甲：那咱们现在开始啊
乙：好
甲：我逛花园
乙：我花园逛
甲：我是牡丹花
乙：我是花牡丹
甲：我是芍药花
乙：我是花芍药
甲：我是茉莉花
乙：我是花茉莉
甲：我是狗尾巴花
乙：我是花尾巴狗
绛旓細鍙堢煭鍙堟悶绗戠殑鍗曞彛鐩稿０鏈夈婂叕浜よ溅涓婅叮浜嬪銆嬨併婂姩鐗╀笘鐣屻嬨併婃墜鏈烘帶銆嬨併婇キ灞涓婄殑鏁呬簨銆嬨併婅姊﹁瘽銆嬬瓑銆1銆併婂叕浜よ溅涓婅叮浜嬪銆嬪彴璇嶏細鈥滀綘涓婅繃鍏氦杞﹀悧锛熶綘鐭ラ亾鍏氦杞︿笂浠涔堟牱鐨勪汉閮芥湁鍚楋紵閭ｅぉ鎴戝氨閬囪涓涓鑰佸ご锛屼粬涓鐩寸灙鐫鎴戯紝鎴戝氨绾抽椃浜嗭紝浠栦负浠涔堢灙鐫鎴戯紵鎴戝氨鐬洖鍘伙紝鎴戜咯灏卞湪閭ｇ灙锛岄偅鑰...
绛旓細1銆佽佸ご闂皬鏄庯細浣犲彨浠涔堝悕瀛椼傚皬鏄庡憡璇変簡鑰佸ご鍚嶅瓧锛屽皬鏄庡張闂佸ご锛屼綘鍙粈涔堝悕瀛楋紝鑰佸ご璇达細鎴戝彨閫椾綘鐜┿傜劧鍚庤佸ご灏辨妸鏉嗗瓙涓婄殑琛ｆ湇鏀跺埌鍖呴噷锛屽皬鏄庡氨鍐插眿閲岀殑濡堝鍠婏細鈥滄湁浜烘妸琛ｆ湇鎷夸簡鈥濓紝濡堝闂細璋佸憖锛熷皬鏄庤锛氶椾綘鐜╋紝濡堝璇达紝杩欏瀛愩傝佸ご鍙堝紑濮嬫敹鏅捐。鏉嗗瓙涓婄殑搴婂崟琚僵锛屽皬鏄庡張鍐插眿閲屽枈锛氬濡堬紝...
绛旓細銆婂皬璇濊タ娓歌銆嬨併婇粦鐚憡鐘躲嬨併婅寖瀹跺簵銆嬨併婄櫨瀵垮浘銆嬨併婂瀹朵簳銆嬨併婂┐瀹佷竴绗戠紭銆嬨併婂畫閲戝垰銆嬬瓑銆傚崟鍙鐩稿０鏄浉澹颁腑鐨勪竴绉嶅舰寮忥紝鏄湪姘戦棿绗戣瘽鍩虹涓婂彂灞曡捣鏉ョ殑涓绉嶆皯闂磋壓鏈舰寮忥紝瀹冩棦鏈夌浉澹版晠浜嬫у己鐨勭壒鐐逛篃缁ф壙浜嗘皯闂寸瑧璇濄佹晠浜嬨佽瘎涔︾殑鑹烘湳鎵嬫硶銆傚崟鍙ｇ浉澹扮殑鐗圭偣 鍙欒堪浜虹殑瀹㈣鎬佸害銆傜浉澹扮殑琛ㄦ紨褰㈠紡鏄...
绛旓細1銆佸湪ATM鑷姩鍙栨鏈虹殑灏忔埧闂撮噷鐢ㄩ洦浼為伄浣忔憚鍍忓ご鐔鐪嬩功锛2涓皬鏃跺乏鍙宠瀵熸潵鏁查棬銆傚悗鏉ユ垜寮浜嗛棬锛岃瀵熼棶鎴戝湪閲岄潰骞插槢锛屾垜璇存垜鍦ㄧ湅涔︼紝浠栭棶鎴戜负浠涔堝湪杩欓噷鐪嬩功锛屾垜璇存垜鐪嬩笉涓嬪幓鐨勬椂鍊欏氨鎶婇摱琛屽崱鎻掕繘鍘荤湅鐪嬩綑棰濓紝灏辨湁蹇冩濇帴鐫鐪嬩功浜嗐備粬鍚簡鎴戣繖鐣瘽鍚庯紝鐪肩閲岄兘鏄槦鏄熺偣鐐圭殑涓滆タ銆傚氨璁╂垜鏃╃偣鍥炲浼戞伅銆
绛旓細1. 鎴戝湪ATM鐨勫皬灞嬮噷鐔鐪嬩功锛岀敤闆ㄤ紴閬綇浜嗘憚鍍忓ご銆傚ぇ绾︿袱涓皬鏃跺悗锛岃瀵熸暡浜嗘暡闂ㄣ傛垜鎵撳紑闂紝璀﹀療闂垜骞插槢锛屾垜璇存垜鍦ㄧ湅涔︺備粬闂垜涓轰粈涔堝湪杩欓噷鐪嬩功锛屾垜璇寸湅涓嶄笅鍘荤殑鏃跺欙紝灏辨彃鍗＄湅鐪嬩綑棰濓紝灏辨湁鍔插効缁х画鐪嬩簡銆傝瀵熷惉鍚庯紝鐪肩閲岄兘鏄禐璁革紝璁╂垜鏃╃偣鍥炲浼戞伅銆2. 濂冲鍎夸笉鑰愮儲鍦伴棶鐢峰鍎匡細鈥滃浘涔﹂...
绛旓細鐩稿０銆婄櫧瀛楀厛鐢熴嬬敳锛氭垜鏈変釜鏈嬪弸鐖卞康鐧藉瓧銆備箼锛氶偅鍙笉濂姐傜敳锛氭湁涓娆℃垜璺熶粬鍑哄幓閫涜銆備箼锛氬彂鐢熷暐浜嬩簡锛熺敳锛氫粬璺熸垜璇达細鈥滃挶浠腑鍥藉己鐩涗簡銆傗濅箼锛氭湁鏍囪鍚楋紵鐢诧細浠栨寚鐫涓涓鐗屽瓙锛氣滀腑鍥藉啘涓氬緢琛屻佷腑鍥藉伐鍟嗗緢琛屻佷腑鍥藉缓璁惧緢琛屸︹︹濅箼锛氬摢鐪嬬殑锛熺敳锛氭垜涓鐪嬶紝鍝槸浠涔堝緢琛岋紝鍒嗘槑鏄摱琛岋紒涔欙細杩欏瓧...
绛旓細瀹濆疂锛氣5宀佲濆皬鍋凤細鈥滀綘鍙粈涔堝悕瀛楀晩銆傗濆疂瀹濓細鈥滄垜鍙皬铏庘濆皬鍋凤細鈥滀綘璁よ瘑鎴戝悧锛熲濆疂瀹濓細鈥滀笉璁よ瘑鈥濆皬鍋凤細鈥滃挶浠咯涓璧风帺鍚э紝鎴戝閫楋紝鍙椾綘鐜╋紝浣犲彨鎴戯紝鍙垜銆傗濆疂瀹濓細鈥滈椾綘鐜┾濆皬鍋凤細鈥滃ソ锛屽お濂藉暒銆傗濆皬鍋锋嬁璧颁簡琛ｆ湇锛屽皬瀹濆ぇ澹扮殑鍙細鈥滃濡堬紝浠栨嬁鍜卞瑜傚瓙鍟︺傗濇瘝浜诧細鈥滆皝鍟婏紵鈥濆疂瀹濓細...
绛旓細1. 鐩稿０鐖哥埜锛屼綘灏卞埆鍥炴潵浜嗭紒鐢诧細鏈杩戝ソ鍍忔尯蹇欑殑鍚楋紵涔欙細涓嶉敊锛屽叚涓鍎跨鑺傚揩鏉ヤ簡锛屾蹇欑潃鎺掔粌鑺傜洰鍛傜敳锛氭兂鎵撳惉浣犱竴浠朵簨锛熶箼锛氫粈涔堜簨锛熶綘灏界璇淬傜敳锛氫綘鏈夌埜鐖稿悧锛熶箼锛氬綋鐒舵湁浜嗐備綘杩欏彨浠涔堥棶棰樺晩锛熺敳锛氳闂紝鏄翰鐢熺殑鍚楋紵涔欙細绁炵粡鐥咃紝褰撶劧鏄翰鐖哥埜浜嗐傜敳锛氶偅濂斤紝浠栧湪鍚楋紵涔欙細锛堜笉鑰愮儲锛...
绛旓細鐢诧細涓嶆槸鍚癸紝鎴戜竴鍑虹敓灏变細锛庝笂鍘曟墍銆備箼锛氱埇鐫鍘伙紵鐢诧細璋佸垰鐢熶笅鏉ュ氨浼氱埇鍛锛焃锛氶偅鎬庝箞鍘伙紵鐢诧細搴婂氨褰撳帟鎵浜嗗憲锛佷箼锛氳繖鍙翱搴婏紒鐢诧細鎴戜笁涓湀灏变細璺戙備箼锛氶偅鍑嗘槸涓儙锝炵敳锛氫笁涓湀鎴戝灏变笂鐝簡锛屾垜鍙ソ濂跺ザ瀹讹紡濮ュД瀹朵袱澶磋窇銆備箼锛氬氨杩欎箞璺戝憖锛併婂惞鐗涗笘瀹躲嬪唴瀹圭畝浠 銆婂惞鐗涗笘瀹躲嬭杩颁簡鐩稿０鑹烘湳...
绛旓細鍎跨鐩稿０銆婅皝鍘夊銆嬬敳锛氬惉璇翠綘鍠滄涓嬭薄妫 涔欙細娌￠敊 鐢诧細浣犵埜鐖镐篃鍠滄涓嬭薄妫嬨備箼锛氭槸鍟 鐢诧細鍙笉锛屼互鍓嶆垜鑰佸拰浣犵埜鐖镐笅妫嬨備箼锛氬 鐢诧細鏈変竴鍥炴垜鍜屼綘鐖哥埜涓嬫锛屼綘鐚滄垜浠皝鍘夊锛熶箼锛氭垜鐖哥埜涓嬭薄妫嬪ソ锛屽綋鐒舵垜鐖哥埜鍘夊 鐢诧細瀵癸紝鎴戝帀瀹 涔欙細浣犳庝箞鍘夊浜嗭紵鐢诧細浣犵埜鐖搁偅涔堝ぇ宀佹暟锛屽綋鐒惰鐫鎴,鎴戣繕鑰...
