急求一篇初中英语课本剧 搞笑的 急求9个人的搞笑英语话剧剧本适合大学生演的

\u6025\u6c42\u641e\u7b11\u7684\u82f1\u8bed\u8bdd\u5267\u5267\u672c

\u8346\u73c2\u523a\u79e6\u738b\u641e\u7b11\u82f1\u8bed\u8bdd\u5267\u5267\u672c
\u65c1\u767d(Aside )/\u4ecb\u7ecd\uff08Introduction\uff09\uff1a Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, \u201cYingzheng\u201d. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff08\u4e0a\uff0c\u638f\u51fa\u955c\u5b50\u68b3\u5934\uff0c\u505a\u81ea\u604b\u72b6\uff09\uff1aMirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (\u753b\u5916\u97f3\uff1aIt\u2019s you, Prince Dan! \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u9ad8\u5174\u72b6) Thank u mirror! \uff08\u9762\u5bf9\u89c2\u4f17\uff09 I\u2019m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (\u5411\u5e55\u91cc\u5927\u53eb) Where is my minister?
\u963f\u4e09(\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c) : Honey, I am coming.
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI\u2019ve told you again and again that you should call me \u201cmy most beautiful\u3001graceful \u3001handsome\u3001charming\u3001cute\u3001smart and dearest Prince Dan\u201d!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aSure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~\uff08\u4f5c\u6740\u72b6\uff09
\u592a\u5b50\uff1aOh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!\uff08\u4e8c\u5341\u4e00\u4e16\u7eaa\u6700\u9700\u8981\u7684\u662f\u4ec0\u4e48\uff0c\u4eba\u624d\uff01\u8fd9\u53e5\u8bdd\u8981\u8ddf\u89c2\u4f17\u4ea4\u6d41\uff0c\u6700\u597d\u7531\u89c2\u4f17\u6765\u56de\u7b54\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u62cd\u963f\u4e09\u80a9\u8180\uff0c\u505a\u8d5e\u8bb8\u72b6\uff09 Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aAfter screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
\u592a\u5b50\uff1aWell, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aYes.
Action II
\uff08\u300a\u5341\u9762\u57cb\u4f0f\u300b\u4e2d\u5218\u5fb7\u534e&\u91d1\u6210\u6b66\u51b3\u6597\u65f6\u7684\u97f3\u4e50\uff09
\u8346\u8f72
Are you Li mochou?
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Yes.
\u8346\u8f72
OK. I\u2019m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers\u2019 world.
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Are you challenging me?
\u8346\u8f72
Off course! \u8038\u8038\u80a9\u8868\u793a\u540c\u610f
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Come on!
\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77
\u4e24\u4eba\u51b2\u4e0a\u524d\u6765
\u201c\u4eba\u5728\u6c5f\u6e56\u6f02\u554a\uff0c\u54ea\u6709\u4e0d\u6328\u5200\u554a\uff0c\u4e00\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\uff0c\u4e24\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u201d
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u5012\u5730
\u8346\u8f72\u5927\u7b11
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u75db\u82e6\u72b6\uff1aWhat happened? Why aren\u2019t you hurt?
\u8346\u8f72: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? \uff08\u8d62\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u9700\u8981\u7406\u7531\u4e48\uff0c\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff0c\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff1f\uff09
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\uff1aMomma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
\u8346\u8f72\u518d\u6b21\u5927\u7b11
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0a\uff08\u62b1\u62f3\uff09\uff1aHow are you?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and you?
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to \u201cHow are you\u201d?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aSure!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aHow are you?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and your wife?
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6655\u5012
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aHey, man, I\u2019m kidding!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh, I\u2019m kidding too!\uff08\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c\uff09May I have your name card, please?
\u8346\u8f72\u4ece\u515c\u91cc\u638f\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\uff0c\u4e0a\u9762\u5199\u7740\uff1a
To be or not to be, that's a question.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero\uff0cwe need your help.
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am busy now!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aYou can get a lot of money.
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very busy now!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aIC, ID, IQ card?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very very busy now!
\u963f\u4e09(\u624b\u6307\u4e0a\u573a\u7684\u7f8e\u5973\uff0c\u6fc0\u52a8\u72b6): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
\u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6d41\u53e3\u6c34\uff09\uff1aI have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aWhat? What\u2019s the TCM?
\u8346\u67ef; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn\u2019t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aExcuse me? What\u2019s the TCM?
\u89c2\u4f17\u7532\uff1aTCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
\u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6fc0\u52a8\uff09\uff1aSlimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn\u2019t reduce my weight.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aYou want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I\u2019m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?\u4f60\u4e0d\u662f\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5427\uff1f\u96be\u9053\u4f60\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5417\u2026\u2026
\uff08\u300aNo matter\u300b\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u5148\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\u8df3\u63a2\u6208\uff0c\u62e5\u5165\u6000\u4e2d\uff0c\u53c8\u7529\u51fa\u53bb\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u505a\u5455\u5410\u72b6\u3002\u7136\u540e\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u8df3\u4f26\u5df4\uff0c\u6700\u540e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6446\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u6027\u5316\u7684\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5411\u540e\u5f2f\u8170\u5e76\u62ac\u5176\u4e2d\u4e00\u6761\u817f\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u505a\u8c03\u620f\u72b6\u3002\uff09
\u8346\u67ef(\u8bda\u6073\u72b6) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\uff08\u649e\u80ef\uff0c\u51fb\u638c\uff09Yeah!
Action \u0428
\uff08\u300a\u5927\u8bdd\u897f\u6e38\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u54cd\u8d77\uff09
\u8346\u73c2\u633d\u7740\u59bb\u5b50\uff0c\u592a\u5b50\u4e39,\u963f\u4e09\u5728\u540e.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero, we have already reached Yishui River.
\u8346\u73c2\uff1aJust stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI will miss you, baby.
\uff08\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u4e0b\u3002\u505c\u987f\u3002\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u59bb\u5b50\u505aJack\u548crose\u5728\u8239\u5934\u7684\u7ecf\u5178\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8346\u8f72\u770b\u5230\u4e00\u4e2a\u7f8e\u5973\u2014\u2014\u6b64\u65f6\u4e00\u4e2a\u4e2d\u56fd\u53e4\u5178\u7f8e\u5973\u7ecf\u8fc7\uff0c\u5411\u8346\u8f72\u629b\u5a9a\u773c\uff0c\u5e76\u629b\u4e0b\u5b9a\u60c5\u624b\u7ee2\u3002\u8346\u8f72\u9ad8\u5174\u7684\u76ef\u7740\u7f8e\u5973\u770b\uff0c\u59bb\u5b50\u53d1\u89c9\u4e0d\u5bf9\uff0c\u626d\u8fc7\u5934\u6765\u3002\uff09
\u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6025\u5fd9\u6536\u655b\uff09\uff1aDarling, I love you.
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aI love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!\uff08\u300a\u8096\u7533\u514b\u7684\u6551\u8d4e\u300b\uff09
\u8346\u73c2(\u6d41\u6cea) \uff1aI love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (\u54ea\u6015\u662f\u4e16\u754c\u672b\u65e5\u6211\u90fd\u4f1a\u7231\u7740\u4f60\uff0c\u9009\u81ea\u300a\u98d8\u300b)
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aWell. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
\u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6b32\u8d70\u8fd8\u7559\uff0c\u6267\u5b50\u4e4b\u624b\u53c8\u66f0\uff09\uff1aSweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise\uff08\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u6c89\u8239\u65f6\uff0cJack\u5bf9Rose\u7684\u503e\u8bc9\uff09.
\u59bb\u5b50:"I promise."
\u8346\u8f72:"Never let go. \u201c
\u59bb\u5b50:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
\uff08\u8346\u8f72\u7684\u53d1\u97f3\u548cjack\u5f88\u50cf\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u52a0\u4e86\u4e00\u4e9b\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u7684\u53f0\u8bcd\u3002\uff09
\u59bb\u5b50\u52aa\u529b\u6324\u51fa\u51e0\u6ef4\u773c\u6cea\uff0c
\u8346\u73c2\u4e0a\u8239\uff0c\u6e10\u6e10\u8fdc\u53bb
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aIt\u2019s a good day to die. Never come back. Never\u2026\u2026 Never\u2026\u2026
\u59bb\u5b50(\u638f\u51fa\u624b\u673a\u62e8\u53f7\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u63a5\u624b\u673a)\uff1a Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aOkay okay!
\u65c1\u767d\uff1aThen Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
\u60f3\u8981\u66f4\u591a\u767e\u5ea6\u6d88\u606f\u8bf4

ABCD,four people are from French----Nice Compnay ;EFGH,four people are Chinese---- Good Company In the airport one: A:Today,we are told to wait for the people from Good Company. B:Yes,though we experienced long trip,we are still happy. C:That\u2019s right.Look,this city is quite beautiful,and it seems that people here are friendly. D:In my opinion,we will have an interesting travel this time. In the airport second: E:Excuse me,are you from French Nice Company? B:Yes,and you? E:Nice to meet you.I come from Chinese Good Compnay. And today I will pick you up to my compny. A:Really,thank you very much. E:It \u2018s my pleasure.This way,please. C:Let\u2019s go! On the car: E:I\u2019m so happy to know you and welcome to China. F:It\u2019s the first time for to visit China. A:Yes,I have never come to China before.But it\u2019s the third time for B to visit China. B:I came to China before and I have been to Beijing,Shanghai and Xi\u2019an those famous cities. F:What do you think you China so? B:Haha,China is a good place,people here are very kind.What\u2019s more,there are so many delicious food in China. E:Yes,I would like to enjoy various food with you after this meeting. CD:Thangks! In the company one: E:OK,it\u2019s our company building.This way,please. D:Thank you.Wow,your company looks so big. F:Thank you.And we have 20 subsidiaries at home and abroad. E:Now we will take you to our boss\u2019 office. In the company second: E:Come in please,this is our boss, G.And G,they are our guest from French Nice Company. G:Welcome to our company.And sit down please.This is my assistant H,he will take charge of this project with you. F:Glad to see you! ABCD:Nice to meet you! G:This project we work together are important for our two companies.And the following we will four meeting which discuss something about the whole work. A:No problem. G:And please don\u2019t worry,we will arrange anything you need before,you just tell

旁白：I think everybody knows the Chinese story 狐假虎威. You know the fox cheat the tiger. When the tiger knew the truth, he felt very angry. He hated the fox very much. Can you imagine when the fox meet with the tiger again, what will happen?

One day, a new story happens.

(一)

琵琶弹奏：《金蛇狂舞》

场景：狐狸在前面跑，老虎在后面追。老虎一把揪住狐狸，喘三口气后，将狐狸翻转过来。

老虎：(暴怒地，用手指指着狐狸的鼻子)You cheat me last time. Cheat me! How dare you! Now, you are dying. Ah ha ha ha!

狐狸：(背过头去，小声地)：Oh, unlucky! What shall I do?

(回过头来，可怜地)：I feel very sorry for cheating you last time，but, but ,but……(左顾右盼)

老虎：(疑惑地)But what?

狐狸：(推脱中)But…….(眼睛往远处上下打量，迷恋状，脚不由自主地走出去)Beautiful!

老虎：(一把将狐狸拽回来) What?

狐狸：(向远处努努嘴)You girl friend Linda! Look, she’s there!

老虎：(傻呼呼，左右张望，急忙放手去找)Where? Where? Linda, I love you!(狐狸乘机溜走)(l老虎望着空空如也的手) I hate fox!(气得上窜下跳)

(二)

旁白：Unfortunately, after a few days, the tiger meet with the fox again.

老虎在森林里又遇到了溜达中的狐狸，又一下子冲上去把狐狸压在爪下。

(琵琶拨一下弦，以示紧张的情绪。)

老虎：(暴怒地)Now, you can make a choice. You want me bite you head first or your fat leg first?

(先抚摩狐狸的头发，再打量狐狸的腿)

狐狸：(回过头去，表情像遇到鬼)Shit!(又回过头来，非常可怜状)(二胡《梁祝》响起)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, help yourself to some fox please. I hate myself, too.(狐狸捂着脸痛苦地跪下)My mother says I’m not a good boy. I always tell lies.(狐狸突然蹿起来) But, they say, tiger is a kind of strong animal. Maybe the strongest animal in the world. Before I die, can you show me how strong you are?

老虎：(得意极了，做出各种健美展示姿势)Of course. I’m a great animal. I’m proud of myself.

狐狸：(试探地)I heard there was a Chinese called 刘翔. He can cover 110 meters in 10 seconds. Can you?

老虎：(想想就好笑)Wa ha ha ha ! wa ha ha ha! Poor mankind! How slow! Wash your eyes! (老虎用手将狐狸的脑袋推开)Look!(老虎一溜烟跑了起来)

狐狸：(挥挥手，远远望去)sa yu na la! (二胡配轻松得意的音乐)

(三)

旁白：Now, fate plays another joke on the fox .He meet with the tiger again.

老虎变聪明了躲在树后面，一下子扑住了狐狸。

狐狸：(不解地)Who?

老虎：(意味深长地)Your old friend! Tiger!

狐狸：(装傻地)Oh, haven’t see you for a long time. How are you?(狐狸帮老虎整理领子，用袖子帮老虎擦衣服)

老虎：(阴险地)Very very nice! Now, I see my lunch. Dilicious!(狐狸听了脚抖)

狐狸：(打喷嚏)a ti ! a ti ! (煞有介事地)I admit I’v cheat you for 3 times. But, you know, it’s all for your sake.

老虎：(疑惑地)For my sake?

狐狸：(可怜巴巴地)Yes. To tell the truth, I’m not a normal fox!

老虎：(不甘示弱地)I’m not a normal tiger, too.

狐狸：(娓娓道来) I looked it up in the dictionary, and I know, in Chinese, they call me 果子狸。

老虎：(没明白)果子狸？

狐狸：(一拍脑袋，假装想起来)Oh, I forget, you can’t speak Chinese!

老虎：(得意地，想想就好笑地)Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha ! My mother always tell me ：to learn a forgien language is very important! I’ve learnt Chinese in school! Am I great! (突然醒悟过来)Wait, what did you say? Chinese call you what?

狐狸：果子狸。

老虎：果子狸？SARS? 非典？

狐狸：(点点头)Yes!

老虎：(放开手，大叫着跑了)wa ya!(边跑，边擦手)

(四)

旁白：From then on, fox become the real King of the forest.

二胡演奏We are the champion

狐狸大摇大摆地走在前面，后面有两个小喽罗在敲背。一个小喽罗敲得重了。狐狸把手一挥。Go! Go! Go! 将其赶走。

狐狸走在台中，大笑起来：Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!

期间，夹杂着老虎的哭声。

这是狐假虎威的故事，希望对你有帮助~~(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

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