急需一篇搞笑作文
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\u4e5f\u6bd4\u8f83\u641e\u7b11\uff0c\u6211\u63a8\u8350\u7b2c48\u8bfe\uff0cdo you want to tell me something?
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PS\uff1a\u5b8c\u5168\u624b\u5927\uff0c\u4eff\u5192\u5fc5\u7a76
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And it was always seldom scrooge that he knew how to keep Christmas well. If any man alive possess knowledge. May that be truly said of us and all of us. And so is Tiny Tim observed God blesses us everyone. And so ends Dickens' masterpiece The Christmas Coral.
Wait a minute, that so the end was a graunchy?
Yeah. Isn't it great book to show up now and take everything?
How come it's called the Christmas Carol anyway?
Yeah, there's nobody in this story named Carol.
Miss Laurance, would please change places with Mr Matthews?
All right, I am a hyperactive, underachieving 11-year-old boy.
I meant physically.
Oh, that takes lesson exactly like a talk.
Why do I have to move?
We were just giving our view of the book.
Yeah, I mean you see literal masterpiece. We say "At"!
Mr Mathews, I'm less interested in your review than I am that you want to understand the material. What in your opinion was Mr Dickens trying to express in his Christmas story.
And if you real * that need ghost will take you the cool places.
"At"!
Fish and steaks. Two things nature never want to put together. What you get?
* and cherry. Two things nature couldn't keep apart.
Since your mom pack it one? I thought you liked fish and steaks.
I do, but I think it's cruel to have a little fish grind when they rib their sticks off.
May I sit down?
No!
Well, since it's empty, I want.
Ah, Christmas, season of together, season of brotherhood.
Season of wool, now I want to ten Christmas gifts, wool. It doesn't matter for ships like socks or sweater, it\u2019s wool and it\u2019s *.
The gift is as important as thought behind it.
What's that behind the wool. This kid doesn't scratch enough?
I agree with Steward.
Oh, no. It's a nut one. Minkins shut off your gift magnet.
I just think we often lose side of the ture meaning of Christmas in the fancy of commercialism
What are you talking about? How we gonna know ask for freedom of commercials? Christmas is the celebration of the Winter Solstice and ancient tribal ritual whose origins were lost in time.
Yeah, we were just talking about that in the bathroom.
我那个去！看到如此伪娘的作文题目，我的眼泪就好像美国泄露的石油一样，止都止不住咧。真是个惨痛昂烈！你地这班出题的大家伙也用不着这么冷吧？我天天与奶爸他个真题、模拟题切来戳去，战斗到夜一夜。作文题目都让写“勇敢”、写“珍惜”，“不要说痛”什么的。不知道你地个出题人是看喝多了牛奶还是看多了《阿凡达》，学梅尔吉普森搞出个像纳威公主的作文题目。
现在倒是好，与如此蛋疼的作文题目为邻，我是注定要呜呼哀哉咧。接下来是要面对含辛茹苦一把屎一把尿把我拉扯大的父母，日日夜夜为我们奔波劳累的老师，每时每刻与我们手牵手肩并肩作战的同窗。我还要面对国家对我们的深切期望，灾区人民对我们的衷心祝福，社会对我们的鼎力支持，大学对我们的热烈欢迎。但最令我愧疚的是，我无法面对我的邻居——这么漂亮的一位阿姨。我居然无法凭借切题在高考作文之上将她奥妙的身材展现给各位评卷人。
但我也不得不讲，应试体系，你我为邻的时间实在是够长的了，从小学到初中，初中到高中，高中到大学，你一直磨灭着我的自信，抹杀我的创造力！更有甚者，为了你这个坏邻居，我爸花了好多万元，作为择校费来填饱你这个戴着虚伪面具大怪物的大肚子。另一方面，这又使得我家没有足够的票子来对付另外一两个更加强大的坏邻居——节节飙升的房价和如狮子开大口的医药价。
杯具啊！这是个神马话题啊。我忐忑了。
不过，能够参加高考，我十分荣幸，先感谢国家，感谢学校，感谢老师，感谢父母，感谢我自己。
既然来了，我也不能潜水啊，周董都唱过"没有地球太阳还是照样转"
拟卷老师太不给力了，这让准备了三年的中生情以何堪！
改卷老师多给些分啊，您给多少分我祝您多活多少岁。
你的邮箱？
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