英语故事短文搞笑幽默50字左右
Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?为什么大象不玩电脑？A: He’s afraid of the mouse!他害怕老鼠！鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。mouse [ma?s]?n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday.""Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor ?said.一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心e79fa5e98193e59b9ee7ad9431333366303061喝下了一瓶汽油。”“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.?He was brought to the hospital.?His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."?"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.?He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"?And God says: "A penny".Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"?And God says: "a second",?Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"And God says "In a second".一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字e5a48de588b67a686964616f31333264626564是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he es back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that o and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“e68a84e8a2ad7a686964616f3133343133666110块。”吉姆说。 “10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow M1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he es back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that o and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。 “10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数 一个晚上, 约翰抬头看着天空。 汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰:“你在干什么?” 约翰说:“我在数星星。” 汤姆笑着说:“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?” 5 It Must Be Crowded A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.” And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon.” 一定很拥挤 一位老师告诉学生们:“月亮非常大,上面能住几百万人。” 一个男孩笑着说:“当月亮变成月牙的时候,住在上面的人该多拥挤啊! I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里zhidao 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一回个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说答。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” Remember not to *** oke. A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asking for help,"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday." "Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." said the doctor. 记得不要吸知烟。 一位很焦急道的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。“医生，我不回知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。” “哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记答未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。 OK？希望能帮到你啊！
绛旓細after being away on business, tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.鍋氬畬鐢熸剰鍥炴潵鍚锛屾彁濮嗚寰楀簲璇ョ粰濡诲瓙甯︾偣浠涔堢ぜ鐗╁洖鍘汇傗渉ow about some perfume锛熲漢e asked the cosmetics clerk. she showed him a $50.00 bottle.鈥滈偅浜涢姘存庝箞鍗栧晩锛熲濅粬闂崠鍖栧鍝佺殑鍞揣鍛樸
绛旓細A,50姝ュ皠涓煇浜哄ご涓婄殑鑻规灉璇:I am A銆侭,100姝ュ皠涓:I am B銆侰,150姝,寮鏋悗璇:I am sorry. 鈶 鍥涗釜鑻辫缁忓吀鎼炵瑧鏁呬簨 My First and My Last When Gee was thirty-five, he bought a *** all plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of...
绛旓細浣嗘槸鎮ㄥ効瀛愯繖涔堝ぇ澹板湴鍙敜,浠栭兘鍚撹窇鍥涗綅鐥呬汉浜嗐 鈶 鑻辫骞介粯灏鏁呬簨50瀛楀乏鍙(甯︾炕璇) Q: Why won鈥檛 the elephant use the puter? 涓轰粈涔堝ぇ璞′笉鐜╃數鑴? A: He鈥檚 afraid of the mouse! 浠栧鎬曡侀紶! 榧犳爣鍜岃侀紶鐨鑻辨枃鐨嗕负mouse銆 mouse [maʊs]n. 榧犳爣;鑰侀紶;鑳嗗皬缇炴殑浜 2.A much worried patian...
绛旓細鑻辫灏忔晠浜嬪垎浜細A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. a woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "pig!!"The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "witch!!"They each continue on ...
绛旓細Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there ...
绛旓細1銆乀ext(姝ｆ枃):The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but hisgrandma doted on him. He hardly left her side.And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his ...
绛旓細銆庢煉銆 姹備竴绡100瀛楀乏鍙鐨鑻辫灏鏁呬簨 1銆佲淚'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .鈥 鈥淭wenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!鈥 鈥淵es ,but this youngster yelled so terr...
绛旓細"We have worn them off sitting here so long.".鏁欒繘鍖栬鐨勮佸笀宸茬粡婊旀粩涓嶇粷鍦拌浜嗗揩涓や釜灏忔椂锛屼粬鐨勮瘽棰樺張鏉ヤ簡锛氣滆鎴戝悜杩涘寲璁鸿呮彁涓棶棰樷斺斿鏋滄垜浠浘缁忓儚鐙掔嫆閭ｆ牱闀跨潃灏惧反锛岄偅涔堢幇鍦ㄥ熬宸村埌鍝噷鍘讳簡锛熲濃滄垜鏉ヨ瘯璇曠湅锛屸濅竴浣嶈佸お澶銆傗滆鏄垜浠湪杩欓噷鍧愯繖涔堜箙鎶婂畠浠（鎺変簡鍚с傗
绛旓細榧犳爣鍜岃侀紶鐨鑻辨枃鐨嗕负mouse銆俶ouse [maʊs] n. 榧犳爣锛涜侀紶锛涜儐灏忕緸鎬殑浜 2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help銆"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday.""Oh, don't worry! All you ...
绛旓細At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."瀹冧滑鏄粠缇庡浗鐩存帴甯︽潵鐨 涓浣嶄腑鍥借佸浜哄湪缇庡浗鐪嬫湜濂冲効鍥炴潵涓嶄箙锛屽埌涓瀹跺競閾惰瀛樺コ鍎块佺粰濂圭殑缇庡厓銆傚湪閾惰鏌滃彴锛岄摱琛岃亴鍛樿鐪熸鏌ヤ簡姣忎竴寮犻挒绁...
