跪求沙溢朱迅小品《过河》台词 跪求2012春晚 靳柯刺秦 小品 完整台词
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1987\u5e74\u62c5\u4efb\u4e2d\u56fd\u4e2d\u592e\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u9752\u5c11\u5e74\u90e8\u300a\u6211\u4eec\u8fd9\u4e00\u4ee3\u300b\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\u30021988\u5e74\u4e3b\u6f14\u7535\u5f71\u300a\u6447\u6eda\u9752\u5e74\u300b\uff0c\u9970\u5c0f\u5c0f\u30021993\u5e74\u20141999\u5e74\u8fde\u7eed5\u5e74\u4e3b\u6301NHK\u6559\u80b2\u53f0\u300a\u4e2d\u56fd\u8bed\u8bb2\u5ea7\u300b\uff1b\u8fde\u7eed2\u5e74\u4e3b\u6301\u65e5\u672cNHK\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u76f4\u64ad\u8282\u76ee\u300a\u4e2d\u65e5\u6b4c\u4f1a\u300b\uff1b\u4e3b\u6301\u65e5\u672c\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u300a\u4e9a\u6d32\u89c2\u300b\uff1b\u4e3b\u6301NHK\u20141\u300a\u60a0\u4e45\u7684\u957f\u6c5f\u00b7\u4e09\u5ce1\u300b\u3001\u300a\u4e9a\u6d32\u6b4c\u575b\u300b\u3001\u300a\u771f\u591c\u4e2d\u7684\u738b\u56fd\u300b\u30021997\u5e74\u20141999\u5e74\u51fa\u6f14\u65e5\u672c\u4e2d\u4eac\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u300a\u827a\u80fd\u4eba\u7ade\u4e89\u300b\uff1b\u8fde\u7eed2\u5e74\u62c5\u4efb\u65e5\u672c\u671d\u65e5\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u76f4\u64ad\u8282\u76ee\u300a\u4eca\u665a\u300b\u8282\u76ee\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\uff1b\u51fa\u6f14\u7535\u5f71\u300aBANSU KO GALS\u300b\u3001\u300a\u4e09\u5de8\u9f99\u300b\u3002\u62c5\u4efb2016\u5e74\u592e\u89c6\u6625\u665a\u9655\u897f\u897f\u5b89\u5206\u4f1a\u573a\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\u30022017\u5e741\u670827\u65e5\uff0c\u62c5\u4efb2017\u5e74\u592e\u89c6\u6625\u665a\u4e3b\u4f1a\u573a\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\u30022017\u5e742\u670811\u65e5\uff0c\u592e\u89c6\u5143\u5bb5\u665a\u4f1a\uff0c\u6c99\u6ea2\u3001\u6731\u8fc5\u8868\u6f14\u5c0f\u54c1\u300a\u8fc7\u6cb3\u300b\u3002
2012\u5e74\u6625\u665a\u5c0f\u54c1\u300a\u8346\u8f72\u523a\u79e6\u300b\u53f0\u8bcd
\u9ec4\u5b8f\u2014\u2014\u9001\u76d2\u996d\u7684\u2014\u2014\u79e6\u59cb\u7687
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小品台词编辑
沙：哎——有船吗——
朱：哎——船来了——
沙：（唱）哥哥面前一条弯弯的河
妹妹对面唱着一支甜甜的歌
哥哥心中荡起层层的波
妹妹何时让我渡过你呀的河
朱：（唱）哥哥你要把河过，先要对上妹妹的歌
不问花儿为谁开，不问蜂儿为谁落
问你带着什么来，为啥要过我的河
哎……啊！你是沙僧？
沙：沙僧？！姐姐，我是沙溢！
朱：不管你是谁，今天谁也不能过我这条流沙河！
沙：流沙河？！姐姐，今天咱们表演的是小品过河，不是西游记流沙河，虽然你姓朱我姓沙，可咱们俩不是亲哥俩！（观众鼓掌）
朱：不是啊！那我们接下来怎么演啊？
沙：姐姐，咱们演的是潘长江老师当年演的小品……
朱：等等……
沙：潘长江老师当年演的小品《过河》，多好看哪！二十年前，潘长江老师过的就是这条河！
朱：嗯！
沙：今天，我来了！（朱迅笑）哎——有船吗——
朱：等等等等等等，停停停停！现在谁还靠喊呐？
沙：难道不喊怎么过河啊？
朱：（拿起手机）你有微信吗？
沙：有啊。
朱：来，刷一个！
沙：刷一个。（拿出手机扫描了一下朱迅的手机）
朱：扫一扫。
沙：有船吗？（做发消息的动作）
朱：船来了。（做发消息的动作）
沙：在哪呢？（做发消息的动作）
朱：向后看。（做发消息的动作）
沙：（转过头看到朱迅）咦？呵，你瞧你这费劲的你，你就直说你有船不就结了嘛！
朱：我直接告诉你，现在过河啊，不一定非要坐船，看！我们建了大桥还通了高铁，这二十年变化太大了！
沙：不行，我们必须坐船过河。
朱：啊？
沙：二十年前潘长江老师就是坐船过的河，看了那个小品之后啊，我的心里就一直惦记着这条河，也惦记着你们村。他们村的姑娘长得也漂亮，我还单身呢！（观众鼓掌）
朱：啊……单身来这就对了！你看，自从小品《过河》播出之后，我们这都成爱情的圣地了，年轻的姑娘帅气的小伙，都到我们这来谈恋爱了，你看这么多人谈恋爱哈，那个约会啊，举办婚礼啊……
沙：等一下，行了行了行了……，别说了，咱赶快过河吧！
朱：别别别，喊什么？！
沙：啊！
朱：我就是船的管理员，要过河先过我这关！二十年前小品过河当中，一问一答的经典唱段你会不会？
沙：不会，一点都不会。
朱：他不会。哎，来！走着！
沙：不会还走着？！
朱：（唱）我来问你来答，什么地上种什么瓜。
沙：（唱）这个问题难不到我啊，水边能种大西瓜，又甜又大又起沙，又甜又大又起沙耶，噔乐嘿嘿噔乐嘿嘿甜掉你的牙 。
朱：（唱）我来问你来猜，什么发芽水里栽。
沙：（唱）这个问题难不到我啊，羊角能在水里栽，生的都是双胞胎，都是双胞胎啊，噔乐嘿嘿噔乐嘿嘿把你嘴乐歪。
（观众鼓掌）
朱：哎呀，这小伙长得帅，嗓子也不错。
沙：还行吧！过河！
朱：哎，我还没考完呢！我考你对诗怎么样？
沙：请出上句。
朱：月上柳梢头——
沙：人约黄昏后。
朱：众里寻他千百度——
沙：蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。
朱：身无彩凤双飞翼——
沙：心有灵犀一点通。
朱：嘿？你把它难住我我就不信了！别人笑我太疯癫——
沙：松仁玉米第三鲜！
朱：一树梨花压海棠——
沙：酸菜白肉串血肠！
朱：你是饿了！
沙：我是义工。
朱：你是什么？
沙：我是义工，我每个周末都去老年公寓，给那儿的大爷大妈做饭，他们都爱吃我炒的菜，这不，刚才你考我，我一紧张秃噜出来了。
朱：那你本职工作是做什么的？
沙：一个帅气的厨子。（观众鼓掌）
朱：人长得帅，还有爱。
沙：颜值越高，责任越大。（观众笑）
朱：我看你是脑袋大！
沙：脑袋大脖子粗，不是大伙是伙夫，这还有讲。
朱：好，这小伙子真不错，他找对象的事，就包在我身上，来，给你拍张照。（拿出手机来了个三连拍）
沙：哎呀你这脸太坏了！这都虚了吧！
朱：还行。
沙：你给我拍照干什么？
朱：我发在闺蜜圈里，给你点个赞。
沙：哎，其实我觉得吧，（拿出手机）咱们俩应该一起拍几张照。
朱：行吗？
（沙溢来了个四连拍）
朱：你要干嘛呀？
沙：我觉得你就不错。
朱：啊……（观众鼓掌）有人吗？
沙：人在呢！
朱：上船啦！
沙：（唱）哥哥面前一条弯弯的河 妹妹对面唱着一支甜甜的歌 哥哥心中荡起层层的波 妹妹可是让我渡过你呀的河。
朱：（唱）小船悠悠水中过 划开河面层层波 层层波 采一朵水莲花!妹妹送哥哥 悄悄话儿悄悄说!甜甜蜜蜜洒满河
转自胖蛋小品：：www.pangdan.com
（哥哥心中荡起层层的波 妹妹可是让我渡过你呀的河）
绛旓細4. 娌欐孩鎯婅鍦伴棶锛氣滄矙鍍э紵锛佸濮愶紝鎴戞槸娌欐孩锛佲濇湵杩呭洖绛旓細鈥滀笉绠′綘鏄皝锛屼粖澶╄皝涔熶笉鑳借繃鎴戣繖鏉℃祦娌欐渤锛佲5. 娌欐孩瑙ｉ噴璇达細鈥滄祦娌欐渤锛燂紒濮愬锛屼粖澶╁挶浠〃婕旂殑鏄皬鍝佽繃娌筹紝涓嶆槸瑗挎父璁版祦娌欐渤锛岃櫧鐒朵綘濮撴湵鎴戝娌欙紝鍙挶浠咯涓嶆槸浜插摜淇╋紒鈥6. 鏈辫繀闂矙婧㈡帴涓嬫潵鎬庝箞婕旓紝娌欐孩鎻愬埌浠栦滑琛ㄦ紨鐨勬槸娼橀暱姹熻佸笀褰...
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