英语双人情景幽默对话 英语双人情景幽默对话该如何写?

\u82f1\u8bed\u4e8c\u4eba\u5e7d\u9ed8\u5bf9\u8bdd

\u7537: This seat empty?\uff08\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5ea7\u4f4d\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u5427\uff1f\uff09
\u5973\uff1aYes, and this one will be if you sit down.\uff08\u662f\u7684\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u5750\u4e0b\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u5ea7\u4f4d\u5c31\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u3002\uff09\u3010\u6211\u7acb\u9a6c\u8d70\u4eba\u3011
\u7537\uff1aHaven''t I seen you some place before?\uff08\u6211\u597d\u50cf\u4ee5\u524d\u5728\u4ec0\u4e48\u5730\u65b9\u89c1\u8fc7\u4f60\uff1f\uff09
\u5973\uff1aYes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.\uff08\u662f\u7684\u3002\u8fd9\u5c31\u662f\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u6211\u4e0d\u518d\u53bb\u90a3\u4e2a\u5730\u65b9\u7684\u539f\u56e0\u3002\uff09\u3010\u6211\u4e0d\u60f3\u548c\u4f60\u6709\u4efb\u4f55\u4ea4\u96c6\u3011
\u7537\uff1aWill you go out with me this Saturday?\uff08\u8fd9\u4e2a\u661f\u671f\u516d\u4f60\u60f3\u8ddf\u6211\u51fa\u53bb\u5417\uff1f\uff09
\u5973\uff1aSorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.\uff08\u62b1\u6b49\u3002\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5468\u672b\u6211\u5934\u75bc)\u3010^_^\u5934\u75bc\u4e5f\u662f\u53ef\u4ee5\u9884\u7ea6\u7684\u3011
\u7537\uff1aCan I have your name?\uff08\u6211\u80fd\u77e5\u9053\u4f60\u7684\u540d\u5b57\u5417\uff1f\uff09
\u5973\uff1aWhy? Don''t you already have one? \uff08\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\uff1f\u4f60\u4e0d\u662f\u5df2\u7ecf\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u4e86\u5417\uff1f\uff09
\u7537\uff1aI''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.\uff08\u6211\u662f\u6444\u5f71\u5e08\u3002\u6211\u4e00\u76f4\u5728\u5bfb\u627e\u4e00\u5f20\u50cf\u4f60\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u8138\u3002\uff09
\u5973\uff1aI''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.\uff08\u6211\u662f\u6574\u5f62\u5916\u79d1\u533b\u751f\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u4e00\u76f4\u5728\u5bfb\u627e\u4e00\u5f20\u50cf\u4f60\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u8138\u3002\uff09\u3010\u957f\u7684\u771f\u4e11\u3011
\u7537\uff1aI think I could make you very happy.\uff08\u6211\u60f3\u6211\u80fd\u8ba9\u4f60\u975e\u5e38\u5feb\u4e50\u3002\uff09
\u5973\uff1aWhy? Are you leaving?\uff08\u662f\u5417\uff1f\u4f60\u662f\u8bf4\u4f60\u8981\u79bb\u5f00\uff1f\uff09\u3010\u4f60\u80fd\u79bb\u5f00\u5c31\u662f\u5bf9\u6211\u7684\u4ec1\u6148\u3011

\u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u4e00\uff1a \u7537\uff1aCan I buy you a drink?\uff08\u6211\u53ef\u4ee5\u4e3a\u4f60\u4e70\u4e00\u676f\u996e\u6599\u5417\uff1f\uff09 \u5973\uff1aActually I\u2019d rather have the money.\uff08\u4e0d\u5fc5\uff0c\u6211\u6211\u5b81\u613f\u7559\u4e0b\u90a3\u4e9b\u94b1\u3002) \u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u4e8c\uff1a \u7537\uff1aCan I have your name?\uff08\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u80fd\u6709\u4f60\u7684\u540d\u5b57\u5417\uff1f\uff09 \u5973\uff1aWhy? Don\u2019t you already have one? \uff08\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\uff1f\u4f60\u4e0d\u662f\u5df2\u7ecf\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u4e86\u5417\uff1f\uff09 \u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u4e09\uff1a \u7537\uff1aI\u2019m a photographer. I\u2019ve been looking for a face like yours.\uff08\u6211\u662f\u6444\u5f71\u5e08\u3002\u6211\u4e00\u76f4\u5728\u5bfb\u627e\u4e00\u5f20\u50cf\u4f60\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u8138\u3002\uff09 \u5973\uff1aI\u2019m a plastic surgeon. I\u2019ve been looking for a face like yours.\uff08\u6211\u662f\u6574\u5f62\u5916\u79d1\u533b\u751f\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u4e00\u76f4\u5728\u5bfb\u627e\u4e00\u5f20\u50cf\u4f60\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u8138\u3002\uff09 \u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u56db\uff1a \u7537\uff1aIs this seat empty?\uff08\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5ea7\u4f4d\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u5427\uff1f\uff09 \u5973\uff1aYes, and this one will be if you sit down.\uff08\u662f\u7684\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u5750\u4e0b\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u5ea7\u4f4d\u5c31\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u3002\uff09 \u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u4e94\uff1a \u7537\uff1aHaven\u2019t I seen you some place before?\uff08\u6211\u597d\u50cf\u4ee5\u524d\u5728\u4ec0\u4e48\u5730\u65b9\u89c1\u8fc7\u4f60\uff1f\uff09 \u5973\uff1aYes. That\u2019s why I don\u2019t go there anymore.\uff08\u662f\u7684\u3002\u8fd9\u5c31\u662f\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u6211\u4e0d\u518d\u53bb\u90a3\u4e2a\u5730\u65b9\u7684\u539f\u56e0\u3002\uff09 \u7ecf\u5178\u5bf9\u8bdd\u516d\uff1a \u7537\uff1aWill you go out with me this Saturday?\uff08\u8fd9\u4e2a\u661f\u671f\u516d\u4f60\u60f3\u8ddf\u6211\u51fa\u53bb\u5417\uff1f\uff09 \u5973\uff1aSorry. I\u2019m having a headache this weekend.\uff08\u62b1\u6b49\u3002\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5468\u672b\u6211\u5934\u75bc\u3002\uff09
\u8fd9\u7ec4\u5bf9\u8bdd\u53ea\u6709\u770b\u5230\u6700\u540e\u624d\u597d\u73a9\uff0c\u6709\u8da3\u3002
A:I want some envelopes,please.
B:Do you want the large size or the small size?
A:The large size,please.
Do you have any writing paper?
B:Yes,we do.
I don't have any small pads.
I only have large ones.
Do you want a pad\uff1f
A:Yes,please.
And I want some glue.
B:A bottle of glue.
A:And I want a large box of chalk,too.
B:I only have small boxes.
Do want one?
A:No,thank you.
B:Is that all?
A:That's all,thank you.
B:What else do you want?
A:I want my change.
\u4e00\u7b80\u5355\u641e\u7b11\u7684\u82f1\u8bed\u4e24\u4eba\u60c5\u666f\u5bf9\u8bdd
A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?
B:Sure.
A:What is your father's name?
B:Happy!
A:Then, What is your mother's name?
B:Smile!
A:Are you joking?
B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census
staff?
A:Of course not.
B:Go ahead.
A:OK. Your name is Kidding!
\u4e00\u6bb5\u5bf9\u8bdd
Napolan and his soldiers\uff08\u62ff\u7834\u4ed1\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5355\u8bcd\u6211\u8bb0\u4e0d\u6e05\u695a\u4e86\uff09 \u4f17\u58eb\u5175\u6392\u5217\u6574\u9f50\u7684\u4e0a\u3002
M: Attention.\uff08\u7acb\u6b63\uff09 Turn right/left. Quick time, march!\uff08\u9f50\u6b65\u8d70\uff09 (\u5439\u54e8)
Halt!(\u7acb\u5b9a) Turn right/left. At ease!(\u7a0d\u606f).Dismiss!(\u89e3\u6563)
M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give
him a warm welcome!
Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (\u63e1\u624b\u3001\u62cd\u80a9 \u548c\u4ed6\u6253\u62db\u547c\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u4ed6\u6447\u6447\u5934) M: He doesn't know French at all.
Ss: What a pity!
A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.
M: What shall we do?
B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first
one is
the Amry?
M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French.
What
shall we do?
B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at
any time.
Ss: Good!
\u5404\u79cd\u573a\u5408\uff1a
\u7761\u89c9: A: Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
A: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
\u5403\u996d:B:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
B: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
\u8dd1\u6b65\uff1aC:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
C: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
.....
Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.
N is coming. N is coming.
(\u4f17\u58eb\u5175\u7acb\u6b63)
N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?
Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!
Sam \u5728\u54c6\u55e6\uff0c\u5f15\u8d77\u4e86\u62ff\u7834\u4ed1\u7684\u6ce8\u610f\u3002
N: \uff08\u8d70\u5230\u4ed6\u7684\u9762\u524d\uff09Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir.
N: (\u975e\u5e38\u5403\u60ca\u7684) How old are you?
Sam: (\u975e\u5e38\u81ea\u4fe1\u7684) 3 .sir.
N: (\u751f\u6c14\u7684) Either you or I am mad!!!!
Sam:(\u6d0b\u6d0b\u5f97\u610f\u7684)Both. sir!!!
Ss: My god!!!

经典对话一:

男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)

女:Actually I’d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。)

经典对话二:

男:Can I have your name?(直译:我能有你的名字吗?)

女:Why? Don’t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)

经典对话三:

男:I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

女:I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

经典对话四:

男:Is this seat empty?(直译:这个座位是空的吧?)

女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。)

经典对话五:

男:Haven’t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)

女:Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)

经典对话六:

男:Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)

女:Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼。)



今天我正在看碟,老妈又捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思

  老妈:这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思?

  我说:“我不知道”

  老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!

  我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗!!

  老妈:还嘴硬!!!!$@%!#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&..(一顿爆揍)

  老妈:你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。

  我说:是“我知道“

  老妈:知道就快说。

  我说:就是“我知道“

  老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?

  我说:就是我知道呀!

  老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!&*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(又一顿爆揍)

  老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我在收拾你,你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思?

  我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意吧

   这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~“

  我:“我很烦,别烦我“

  老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)

  老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“

  我说:“我没听清,再说一次“

  老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“

  “我没听清,再说一次“

  结果被扁

  老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“

  我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)

  老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’

  我说:“查字典“

  “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)

  老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“

  我说:“你最好问别人“

  “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“

  “啊!god save me !“

“上帝救救我吧!”

  “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)

  我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“

  我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“

  “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手

  我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”

  “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

One day, a village idiot won the first prize in the lottery(彩票).
“How did you guess the lucky number?” asked his neighbor.
“Well, three times, I dream of seven; so I figure it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought the ticket with number 24 then I won the first prize.”
“Why, you blamed fool (你这个傻瓜!). Three times seven is twenty-one not twenty-four.”
“Is that so?” said the village idiot, Well, twenty-four won, anyway.”

参考资料:http://www.sowerclub.com/ViewTopic.php?id=138159

经典对话一:

男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)

女:Actually I’d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。)

经典对话二:

男:Can I have your name?(直译:我能有你的名字吗?)

女:Why? Don’t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)

经典对话三:

男:I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

女:I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

经典对话四:

男:Is this seat empty?(直译:这个座位是空的吧?)

女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。)

经典对话五:

男:Haven’t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)

女:Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)

经典对话六:

男:Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)

女:Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼。)

经典对话七:

男:I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)

女:Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?chum?
Guy:?What do you think??I'm in hell.
Demon:?Hell's not so bad.?We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:?Sure,?I love to drink.?Love the drinks.
Demon:?Well you're gonna love Mondays then.?On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.?Whiskey,?tequila,?Guinness,?wine coolers,?diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:?Gee炉hat sounds great.

Demon:?You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!?Love the smoking.
Demon:?Alright!?You're gonna love Tuesdays.?We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.?If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:?Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon:?I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:?Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.?Love the gambling.
Demon:?Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.?Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...?If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon:牋 You into drugs?
Guy:?Are you kidding??Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon:?That's right!?Thursday is drug day.?Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.?Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want烬nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!?O.D.!!
Guy:?Yowza!?I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy:?Uh?no.

Demon:?Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

经典对话一:

男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)

女:Actually I’d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。)

经典对话二:

男:Can I have your name?(直译:我能有你的名字吗?)

女:Why? Don’t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)

经典对话三:

男:I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

女:I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

经典对话四:

男:Is this seat empty?(直译:这个座位是空的吧?)

女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。)

经典对话五:

男:Haven’t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)

女:Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)

经典对话六:

男:Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)

女:Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼。)

  一哥们去网吧上网,突然着急上厕所。
  厕所有人,这哥们就在门外等着,5分钟过去了,10分钟过去了,15分钟过去了……
  实在忍不住了,敲门:里面的哥们你能不能快点啊!
  里面的来了句:我擦,终于有人来了,哥们有没有纸?

  • 鎬ユ眰鑻辫鎯呮櫙2浜瀵硅瘽
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