求《小崔说事》之赵本山与宋丹丹中的台词 小品 小崔说事的台词
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u54ce\u5440\uff01\u5bf9\u4e0d\u8d77\u5927\u5bb6\uff0c\u5bf9\u4e0d\u8d77\u554a\uff0c\u6765\u665a\u4e86\uff0c\u5bf9\u4e0d\u8d77\u3002\u6628\u5929\u665a\u4e0a\uff0c\u6ca1\u7761\u597d\u89c9\uff0c\u4f60\u77e5\u9053\u5417\u3002\u54ce\u54df\uff01\u5927\u53d4\u5927\u5988\u90fd\u6765\u4e86\uff01
[\u767d\u4e91] \u6765\u4e86\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u60a8\u597d\u554a\uff0c\u5927\u5988\u3002
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u60a8\u597d\uff0c\u5927\u53d4\u2026\u2026
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u7ed9\u4ed6\u6263\u4e0a\u3002
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u4ffa\u4eec\u2026\u2026\u642d\u4e13\u673a\u6765\u7684\u3002
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u60a8\u8fd9\u662f\u8c82\u76ae\uff01
[\u767d\u4e91]\u9519\uff01\u8c82\u7ed2\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u7279\u522b\u8d35\u5427\uff1f
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4e0d\u8d35\uff0c\u56db\u4e07\u3002
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u5973\u4eba\u561b\uff0c\u5bf9\u81ea\u5df1\u4e0b\u624b\u5c31\u8981\u72e0\u4e00\u70b9\u513f\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u90a3\u6211\u518d\u95ee\u95ee\u5927\u53d4\uff1f
[\u767d\u4e91]\u884c\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u60a8\u542c\u542c\u97f3\u4e50\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u8fd9\u58f0\u513f\u633a\u5927\u7684\u3002
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u90a3\u5f97\u591a\u51b7\u554a\u3002
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u7a7f\u5f97\u591a\u554a\uff0c\u8fd9\u90fd\u625b\u98ce\uff0c\u4f60\u770b\u5979\u8fd9\u8863\u670d\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u5927\u5988\u8fd9\u8863\u670d\u633a\u8d35\u7684\u5427\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u8001\u8d35\u4e86\uff01\u56db\u5341\u4e00\u5929\u79df\u7684\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u79df\u7684\uff1f\uff08\u5bf9\u89c2\u4f17\uff09\u600e\u4e48\u6837\uff1f\u6709\u6548\u679c\u5427\uff1f\u8fd8\u5f97\u8fd9\u4e48\u95ee\u3002\uff08\u5bf9\u9ed1\u571f\uff09\u554a\uff0c\u6211\u518d\u95ee\u95ee\u5927\u5988\u3002\u60a8\u542c\u542c\u97f3\u4e50\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u660e\u767d\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4f60\u95ee\u5427\uff0c\u5d14\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u5927\u5988\uff0c\u54b1\u8bf4\u8bf4\u60a8\u8fd9\u4e66\u5427\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4e66\u554a\uff1f
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u55ef\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u8bf4\u4e66\u90a3\u53ef\u6709\u7684\u8bf4\u4e86\u3002\u90a3\u2026\u2026\u4ece\u54ea\u513f\u8bf4\u8d77\u5462\uff1f\uff08\u505a\u624b\u52bf\uff09
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u5c31\u4ece\u7b7e\u5b57\u552e\u4e66\u8bf4\u8d77\u5427\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u7b7e\u5b57\u552e\u4e66\u554a\uff1f
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u554a\u3002
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u5662\u3002\u90a3\u6211\u518d\u95ee\u95ee\u5927\u53d4\uff1f
[\u767d\u4e91]\u884c\u3002\u95ee\u4f60\uff0c\u6211\u90a3\u4e66\u3001\u4e66\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u6ca1\u7b7e\u5b57\u552e\u4e66\u554a\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u6ca1\u6709\u5417\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5168\u767d\u9001\u7684\u561b\uff01\uff08\u91cd\u590d\u767d\u4e91\u7684\u624b\u52bf\uff0c\u4ee5\u4e0b\u5747\u662f\uff09
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u5927\u5988\uff0c\u628a\u8033\u673a\u7ed9\u6211\u5427\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u667a\u5546\u76f8\u5f53\u9ad8\u3002
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5bf9\u3002
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u662f\uff01
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u53ef\u662f\u4f60\u4eec\u4fe9\u56de\u7b54\u5440\u2026\u2026
[\u767d\u4e91]\u55ef\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5750\u62d6\u62c9\u673a\u8fc7\u6765\u7684\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u6211\u8fd9\u8863\u670d\u5462\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u56db\u5341\u4e00\u5929\u79df\u7684\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u6211\u90a3\u4e66\u5462\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u6211\u90fd\u6309\u4f60\u90a3\u6bd4\u5212\u7684\uff0c\u4f60\u4e0d\u8bf4\u5168\u7cca\u5899\u4e86\u5417\uff0c\u6700\u540e\u5395\u6240\u8fd8\u6709\u770b\u4e66\u5565\u7684\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u90a3\u4f60\u6ca1\u529e\u6cd5\uff0c\u4ed6\u90a3\u73a9\u610f\u513f\u7ed9\u6263\u4f4f\u4e86\u3002\u8fd9\u5b69\u5b50\u5b66\u574f\u4e86\u5462\uff01\u6211\u8bf4\u4ed6\u4e24\u53e5\u513f\u53bb\u3002\u5c0f\u5d14\u5440\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u4f60\u6234\u4e0a\u3002\uff08\u7ad6\u62c7\u6307\uff09\u4f60\u5b66\u574f\u4e86\u4f60\u5440\uff0c\u4f60\u8fd9\u62db\u513f\u592a\u9634\u4e86\uff01\u4f60\u4e0d\u602a\u7761\u4e0d\u7740\u89c9\uff0c\u5fc3\u773c\u513f\u592a\u591a\u4e86\u4f60\uff0c\u8be5\uff0c\u554a\uff01
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u554a\uff0c\u8c22\u8c22\u554a\uff01
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u4f60\u4e0d\u4e0d\u8ba9\u8bf4\u8bdd\u5417\uff1f\uff01
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u54ce\uff08\u6458\u8033\u673a\uff09\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u54b1\u63a5\u7740\u5520\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u597d\uff01\u90a3\u6211\u5c31\uff0c\u518d\u95ee\u5927\u53d4\u4e00\u4e2a\u95ee\u9898\u3002
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u554a\uff1f
[\u767d\u4e91]\u55ef\uff1f
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u554a\uff0c\u4ed6\u80c3\u75bc\u3002\u8bf4\u4f60\u80c3\u75bc\u5462\u3002
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u8fd9\u548b\u8fd8\u4e0b\u5782\u4e86\u5462\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\uff08\u6342\u7740\u80c3\uff09\u80c3\u5728\u54ea\u513f\u5462\uff1f
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u771f\u7684\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4f60\u542c\u4e0d\u4e0b\u53bb\u662f\u4e0d\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u80fd\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u90a3\u4f60\u6263\u5b83\u5e72\u5565\u5440\uff1f\uff01
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u80c3\u75bc\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5979\u516b\u5341\uff0c\u6211\u56db\u5341\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u90fd\u7a0e\u540e\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u90a3\u90fd\u7ed9\u54ea\u526a\u5f69\u5440\uff1f
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5927\u714e\u997c\u94fa\u5b50\u3001\u94c1\u5320\u7089\u5565\u7684\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u6211\u80fd\u618b\u75af\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u8bf4\u70b9\u513f\u5b9e\u8bdd\u2026\u2026
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[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u90a3\u4e0d\u8fd8\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u5462\u5417\uff1f
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u4f60\u597d\uff01
[\u767d\u4e91]\u600e\u4e48\u7684\u3002
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u4f60\u5f97\u5f97\u745f\u745f\u8fd8\u4e0a\u7cbe\u795e\u75c5\u9662\u7ed9\u4eba\u8bb2\u6f14\u53bb\u4e86\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u55ef\u3002
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u8bb2\u4e00\u5929\u4e00\u5bbf\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u600e\u4e48\u7684\uff0c\u7cbe\u795e\u75c5\u90fd\u51fa\u9662\u4e86\u3002
[\u5c0f\u5d14]\u6709\u6548\u679c\u3002
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5927\u592b\u75af\u4e86\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u54ea\u5927\u592b\u75af\u4e86\uff0c\u6211\u95ee\u4f60\uff1f
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5d14\u5927\u592b\u5c31\u75af\u4e86\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u54ea\u5d14\u5927\u592b\uff1f\uff01
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u5c31\u5c0f\u5d14\u5927\u592b\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u54ce\u5440\u5988\u5440~~~~
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[\u767d\u4e91] \u6765\u4e86\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u55dd\uff01
[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u6211\u4eca\u2026\u2026\u6211
[\u9ed1\u571f]\u597d\u4e86\u3002
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u597d\u70b9\u513f\u6ca1\uff1f
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[\u767d\u4e91]\u770b\u6249\u9875\u3002
[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u54ce\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u770b\u6249\u9762\u513f\u3002
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[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u7279\u522b\u8d35\u5427\uff1f
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[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u90a3\u6211\u518d\u95ee\u95ee\u5927\u53d4\uff1f
[\u767d\u4e91]\u884c\u3002
[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u60a8\u542c\u542c\u97f3\u4e50\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u8001\u8d35\u4e86\uff01\u56db\u5341\u4e00\u5929\u79df\u7684\u3002
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[\u9ed1\u571f]\u660e\u767d\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4f60\u95ee\u5427\uff0c\u5d14\u3002
[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u5927\u5988\uff0c\u54b1\u8bf4\u8bf4\u60a8\u8fd9\u4e66\u5427\u3002
[\u767d\u4e91]\u4e66\u554a\uff1f
[\u5d14\u6c38\u5143]\u55ef\u3002
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\u53c2\u8003\u8d44\u6599\uff1ahttp://www.lifepop.com/myradio.aspx?castid=98310
[白云]说书那可有的说了。那，从哪儿说起呢？
[崔永元]就从，签字售书说起吧。
[白云]签字售书啊？
[崔永元]啊。
[白云]签字售书那天那家伙那场面那是相当大呀！
《《《《那真是：锣鼓喧天，鞭炮齐鸣，红旗招展，人山人海呀。》》》》》
那把我挤桌子底下去了，那一摞儿书都倒了。
[崔永元]噢。那我再问问大叔？
[白云]行。问你，我那书、书。
[崔永元]啊，大叔啊，大叔啊，大妈签字售书那天，您也在现场吧？
[黑土]没签字售书啊。
[崔永元]没有吗？
[黑土]全白送的么！
[崔永元]那，大妈刚才说“人山人海”？
[黑土]哎呀妈，一听说白送的全乡都去取书去了，回去全糊墙了，那家，是左一层右一层，左一层右一层，后来，上厕所一看，还有这么厚一摞儿书呢。（二老击掌）
[崔永元]大妈，把耳机给我吧。
[白云]智商相当高。
[黑土]对。
[崔永元]是这么回事啊，刚才呀，我问大叔大妈问的是同样的问题。
[白云]是！
[崔永元]可是你们俩回答呀……
[白云]嗯。
[崔永元]一点儿不一样。啊，我戴上耳机听听音乐，你们自己对一对啊。
另附小品视频 http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/8G7M5wA9q_U/
这你再不给分可说不过去了 呵呵
【白云】说书那可有的说了。那，从哪儿说起呢？
【崔永元】就从，签字售书说起吧。
【白云】签字售书啊？
【崔永元】啊。
【白云】签字售书那天那家伙那场面那是相当大呀！
那真是：锣鼓喧天，鞭炮齐鸣，红旗招展，人山人海呀！
那把我挤桌子底下去了，那一摞儿书都倒了。
【崔永元】噢。那我再问问大叔？
【白云】行。问你，我那书、书。
【崔永元】啊，大叔啊，大叔啊，大妈签字售书那天，您也在现场吧？
【黑土】没签字售书啊。
【崔永元】没有吗？
【黑土】全白送的么！
【崔永元】那，大妈刚才说“人山人海”？
【黑土】哎呀妈，一听说白送的全乡都去取书去了，回去全糊墙了，那家，是左一层右一层，左一层右一层，后来，上厕所一看，还有这么厚一摞儿书呢。
【崔永元】大妈，把耳机给我吧。
【白云】智商相当高。
【白云】看完月子一，就想看月子二。
【黑土】这不村头厕所快没纸了！
【白云】你别听他瞎说，崔，咱接着唠。
【崔永元】是这么回事啊，刚才呀，我问大叔大妈问的是同样的问题。
【白云】是！
【崔永元】可是你们俩回答呀……
【白云】嗯。
【崔永元】一点儿不一样。啊，我戴上耳机听听音乐，你们自己对一对啊
【黑土】还有点事（拉小崔到一边），出门这火车票谁给报了？
众人哄笑
END！！！！！！！！
多给点分呗！
锣鼓喧天 鞭炮齐鸣 。
锣鼓喧天 鞭炮齐鸣 。。
锣鼓喧天，鞭炮齐鸣
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