爆笑英语话剧剧本

\u641e\u7b11\u82f1\u8bed\u8bdd\u5267\u5267\u672c

\u6211\u4eec\u73ed\u521a\u6f14\u8fc7 \uff0c\u83b7\u5f97\u4e86\u7cfb\u91cc\u4e00\u7b49\u5956(\u5b54\u96c0\u4e1c\u5357\u98de \u82f1\u8bed\u641e\u7b11\u5267\u672c) \u867d\u7136\u4eba\u7269\u591a\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\uff0c\u53ef\u4ee5\u6709\u7fa4\u4f17\u6f14\u5458\u561b

\u7126\u4ef2\u537fjohnny(jforshort)
\u5218\u5170\u829dlunch(lforshort)
\u7126\u6bcdjohnny\u2019s mother(jmforshort)
\u5218\u6bcdlunch\u2019s mother(lmforshort)
\u592a\u5b88\u4e4b\u5b50mayor\u2019sson(msforshort)
\u5f3a\u76d7burglars(abandc)

prologue \u5e8f\u5e55

(j\u4f5c\u88ab\u6253\u72b6\u8dd1\u4e0a\u53f0,\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,j\u88ab\u6253\u4e2d,\u72fc\u72c8\u4e0d\u582a)
j:everybody says that i\u2019m hen pecked, but in fact,i\u2019m a strong tiger,(\u5c0f\u58f0)while my
wife is wusong.
\u8bd1\uff1a\u4eba\u4eba\u90fd\u8bf4\u6211\u6015\u8001\u5a46\uff0c\u5b9e\u9645\u4e0a\u6211\u662f\u8001\u864e\uff0c\uff08\u5c0f\u58f0\uff09\u6211\u59bb\u5b50\u662f\u6b66\u677e\u3002

(\u6307\u7740\u4e0a\u53f0\u5904\u7684\u95e8\u5927\u58f0\u9053)i\u2019m not afraid of you!
\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u624d\u4e0d\u6015\u4f60\u5462\uff01

(\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u8138\u76c6,j\u63a5\u4f4f\u5f53\u6210\u76fe\u724c\u62a4\u7740\u5934)then, i\u2019m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
\u8bd1\uff1a\u8c01\u6015\u8c01\u554a\uff01\u5728\u90bb\u91cc\u4e2d\uff0c\u6211\u59bb\u5b50\u662f\u6700\u6709\u540d\u6c14\u7684\u3002\u5979\u6bd4\u6211\u52c7\u6562\u3001\u6bd4\u6211\u806a\u660e\u3001\u6bd4\u6211\u5f3a\u58ee\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u4e0d\u5728\u4e4e\u8fd9\u4e9b\u3002\u6211\u53ea\u89c9\u5f97\u5979\u8be5\u5bf9\u6211\u6e29\u67d4\u4e9b\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u5979\u5374\u4e0d\u61c2\u6e29\u67d4\uff01\u6709\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u592a\u592a\u5c31\u50cf\u6d3b\u5728\u5730\u72f1\u4e2d\u554a\uff01

(\u5185\u53c8\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,\u51fb\u4e2dj)
my god! who can help me?(\u4e0b)
\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u7684\u5929\uff01\u8c01\u6765\u6551\u6551\u6211\u554a\uff1f


act1 \u7b2c\u4e00\u5e55
(\u5e8f\u5e55\u7ed3\u675f\u65f6,jm\u4f5c\u7a83\u542c\u72b6)
jm(\u62c4\u62d0\u68cd\u4e0a):i can!
(\u5bf9\u95e8\u5185)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(\u624e\u7740\u56f4\u88d9,\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2,\u4ece\u95e8\u5185\u8df3\u51fa\u6765):i\u2019m here! what\u2019s up \uff0cmum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me \u201cmy most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law\u201d.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what\u2019s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy\u2026\u2026
l:but\u2026\u2026
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
and\u2026\u2026
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(\u751f\u6c14\u5730\u6325\u52a8\u7740\u9505\u94f2):oh,you want a grandson,don\u2019t you?(\u5f00\u59cb\u89e3\u56f4\u88d9)go and ask your son. i\u2019m leaving!(\u626f\u4e0b\u56f4\u88d9,\u6254\u5728jm\u7684\u8138\u4e0a,\u4e0b)

act2
(lm\u5750\u5728\u53f0\u4e0a\u6253\u6bdb\u7ebf,l\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2\u4e0a)
l:mum, i\u2019m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother\u2013in-law.
lm(\u60ca\u8bb6,\u4f46\u968f\u5373\u9732\u51fa\u5e78\u707e\u4e50\u7978\u7684\u795e\u60c5):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself\u2026\u2026
l:but,mum\u2026\u2026
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i\u2019m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i\u2019ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(\u5927\u559c):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor\u2019s son in the market.he said:\u201cif your daughter
haven\u2019t been married,i really really want to marry her!\u201dnow you are free again, i \u2019ll go
and tell him.(\u4e0b)
l(\u60ca\u6115):what? the mayor\u2019s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (\u624b\u4e2d\u7684\u9505
\u94f2\u6389\u5728\u5730\u4e0a)what a silly thing i have done!(\u4e0b)

act3
(j\u7761\u773c\u60fa\u5fea\u4e0a)
j(\u8fb9\u8d70\u8fb9\u9053):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(\u8d70\u4e86\u51e0\u6b65,\u5728\u5730\u4e0a\u6361\u8d77\u889c\u5b50)here they are!(\u95fb\u4e00\u4e0b) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(\u7a81\u7136\u60f3\u8d77)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(\u4ed6\u7684\u809a\u5b50\u4f3c\u4e4e\u5495\u5495\u53eb\u4e86\u8d77\u6765)oh,i\u2019m so hungry! but there\u2019s no breakfast!(\u6361\u8d77\u5730\u4e0a\u7684\u56f4
\u88d9)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(\u4e0a):where\u2019s my breakfast? where\u2019slunch?hasn\u2019t she got up yet?
j:mum, can\u2019t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(\u6c89\u541f\u7247\u523b):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(\u7acb\u6b63\u656c\u793c):yes madam!

act4
(j\u5f00\u5fc3\u5730\u8d70\u7740\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8df3\u51fa\u6765\u4e09\u4e2a\u5f3a\u76d7)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(\u62ac\u811a\u91cd\u91cd\u5730\u8e29\u5728\u4e00\u5757\u5927\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
b:and i planted one tree!(\u4ea6\u62ac\u811a\u8e29\u5728\u540c\u4e00\u5757\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
c:if you want to go by this street---(\u6b32\u8e29\u77f3\u5934\uff0c\u4f46\u8e29\u5230\u4e86a\u7684\u811a)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(\u641c\u904d\u4e86\u6bcf\u4e00\u4e2a\u53e3\u888b\uff0c\u638f\u51fa1\u89d2\u786c\u5e01):is 1mao enough?
(\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u6655\u5012\u72b6\uff0c\u63a5\u7740\u4e09\u4eba\u805a\u5728\u4e00\u8fb9\u5546\u91cf)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor\u2019s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(\u60ca\u8bb6):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it\u2019s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven\u2019t got divorced yet!
(\u7a81\u7136\u6709\u4e86\u4e3b\u610f)i\u2019ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don\u2019tyou? i\u2019ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i\u2019ve got this!(j\u8131\u4e0b\u978b\u5b50\u4ece\u91cc\u9762\u6478\u51fa\u4e00\u5f20\u652f\u7968\uff0c\u4e0a\u4e66\uff041\uff0c000\uff0c000)

act5
(\u8f6c\u773c\u5df2\u5230\u4e86\u5a5a\u793c\u4e4b\u671f\uff0ems\u610f\u6c14\u98ce\u53d1\u7528\u7ea2\u7ef8\u7275\u7740\u65b0\u5a18\u4e0a\uff0cj\u76d6\u7740\u7ea2\u76d6\u5934\u6781\u4e0d\u60c5\u613f\u5730\u88ab\u62c9\u4e0a\u53f0)
(j\u548c\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u8dc3\u81f3\u53f0\u4e2d)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l\u542c\u5230j\u7684\u58f0\u97f3\uff0c\u6380\u8d77\u4e86\u76d6\u5934)
l(\u60ca\u559c\u4e07\u5206):johnny!(\u4e0d\u987e\u4e00\u5207\u5730\u98de\u5954\u5230j\u7684\u8eab\u8fb9\u5e76\u8eb2\u5230\u4e86\u7684\u8eab\u540e)
(ms\u5927\u6012\uff0c\u6325\u62f3\u5411j\u6253\u6765\uff0ej\u77ee\u8eab\u4e00\u8eb2\uff0cms\u6253\u4e2d\u4e86j\u8eab\u540e\u7684l\uff0cl\u6655\u5012)
j(\u706b\u5192\u4e09\u4e08):how dare you beat my wife!\uff08\u6325\u62f3\u5411ms\u51b2\u53bb\uff09
(j\u4e0ems\u6df7\u6218\uff0cjm\u4e0a\uff0c\u4ee5\u62d0\u6756\u51fb\u6655ms)
(j\u5c06ms\u80f8\u524d\u7684\u65b0\u90ce\u6807\u5fd7\u626f\u4e0b\u6234\u5728\u81ea\u5df1\u80f8\u524d)
j(\u6276\u8d77l\uff0c\u5173\u5207\u5730\u95ee):honey, how are you?
l(\u54ed\u72b6):i hurt a lot!
j:don\u2019t cry baby.i\u2019ll go and fetch the medicine. (\u4e0b)
l(\u8d77\u8eab\u53bb\u8ffd):wait for me! (\u8dd1\u4e0b)

Net Friend \u4e92\u8054\u7f51\u4ea4\u53cb
Summary:
Is it correct to make friends on the Internet? Will it be dangerous? Bill, Hillary's younger brother, is a rude and impolite boy. Everyone in his school doesn't like him. However, he really wants to have a girlfriend, so he asks his sister to help him. Then Hillary pretended to be Bill on net and met a nice girl, Monica. Three months later, Hillary asked Monica to go out with "Bill" (Her brother), and arranged everything for them. When they met each other at McDonald's, Monica found that Bill wasn't the one who she talked to on net. Then...
Finally, Monica understands that it's very dangerous to date with strangers and trusts everything of which her net-friend told her. And we all should be very careful when we're on net.

\u3000
Scene I

(In school cafeteria, students are having lunch)



Bill: Hey, Jessie. (He pushed her shoulder very rudely) Can I join you?
(Jessie didn't say a word, and Bill just sat down)

Bill: Wow! Wow! Wow! You are wearing a nice dress today!
Jessie: Thanks!
Bill: Oh! What a beautiful hair clip. Where did you buy it?
(Jessie didn't say anything..)

Bill: Hey, you have a nice watch.
(He held her hand strongly and Jessie got angry.)

Jessie: Don't touch me! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!
(Bill stood up and walked toward Carol.
Bill sat down beside Carol without asking her)

Bill: Hey, beautiful! How could you eat so little! It's not good for your health! Take this!
(Bill wanted Carol to eat his food)

Carol: No.
Bill: Take it! (He was very rude and the plate fell down.)
Carol: Hey! What are you doing! This is my new skirt!
Bill: I'm sorry!
Carol: Go away! You're such a rude guy!
(Carol went away.)

Bill: Did I do something wrong?
(He talked to himself)

Scene II

(In Hillary's room. Hillary was surfing the net)

Bill: Sis....
Bill: Hillary!
Hillary: Oh! Hi! Bill! How long have you been sitting there? Are you trying to scare me?
(Bill didn't say a word.)

Hillary: Bill? What's wrong with you? What happened?
Bill: I tried to draw some girls' attention but they just ignored me!
Hillary: Hmm....Maybe the way you used was wrong.
Bill: Yeah, maybe. But I don't know how to attract them. Hillary, I just want to have a girlfriend?
Hillary: Girlfriend?
Bill: Yeah.
Hillary: Let me see what I can do.
Bill: So, can you help me?
Hillary: Ok! Since you really want to have a girlfriend, I'll try to help you.
Bill: Great! Thank you! You are a doll!
(At this moment, Hillary's net-friend is calling her.)

Hillary: Oh.. My net-friend!
Bill: Ok! Waiting for your good news!
(Bill left Hillary's room and Hillary was thinking how she helped Bill.)

Hillary: Yeah! That's it! I can pretend to be Bill and find a girlfriend on the Internet!
(She opened the PC and saw a girl's name "Monica"...)

Hillary: (Laughing......) Monica!
(A little bit surprised)

Hillary: (Talked to herself) It is the same name as the girl of Clinton's sexual scandal. Hmm. Let me send a message to her.
Hillary: Hi! I'm Bill! Glad to meet you!
Monica: Hello, Bill! , Glad to meet you, too. I'm a college student, and you?
Hillary: Me three
Monica: (Laughing...) You're a humorous person!
Hillary: Thanks! I guess you're a female, aren't you?
Monica: Yes, I am.
Hillary: (Talked to herself) Great! She's a girl.
Monica: And you?
Hillary: Oh... I'm a "boy"
Monica: Which school club are you in?
Hillary: Computer Information Club.
Monica: Oh! Really? So you must be a computer expert!
Hillary: You can say that again.
Monica: You know I'm interested in computers, too. So, can you teach me or tell me something about them?
Hillary: Sure! It's my pleasure!
( .....Two hours later .....)

Hillary: Oh! It's interesting to chat with you.
Monica: Yeah! I'm very happy, too.
IIiIIaiy: Will you be here tomorrow? At the same time?
Monica: I think so, I hope we can meet again.
Hillary: Ok, I'll be here tomorrow, Bye! Bye!
Monica: Bye!
Saying: From then on, Monica and Hillary continue chatting with each other after school.
(At Monica's room. As soon as Monica came back home from school,
she started surfing the net. Then, her mom came into her room.
She knocked her door, but no oneanswered the door)

Dad\uff1aDarling\uff0csomeone is knocking the door.
Mom: I'm coming!
Mom: Oh! Monica, my darling! I've just baked some cookies. Want some?
Monica: No, thanks! I have something important to do.
Mom: What are you busy doing?
Monica: I'm surfing the net and talking to my net-friend.
Mom: Net-friends!! They are strangers. You even don't know who they are. I read from the newspapers. Lot's of things happened on net. You should be more careful and you have to watch out for your net-friends, You're so young
Monica: Ok.. ok. .I know, Mom. Don't worry about me.
(Mom walked out her room. and Monica saw Hillary)

Monica: Hello! Bill!
Hillary: Hi! Monica! How's school today?
Monica: Wonderful! It's really a nice day!
Hillary: Monica! I think we've known each other for a long time. And I just wonder whether you would go out with me?
Monica: (Talk to herself) Go out with him?
Monica: Sure, I would like to. I think you're a polite and humorous person. It may be interesting to go out with you!
Hillary: That's great! How about we meeting at McDonald's on Ming-Chang Road this weekend?
Monica: All right! It's a deal! But how can I recognize you?
Hilillary: I'll wear a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue caps and also carry a blue knapsack. Besides, I'll stand beside the trash can.
Monica: All in blue! Wow! Ok! That will be easy for me to recognize you.
Hillary: Yeah! I'll be waiting for you!
Monica: Ok! See you
Monica: (Talk to herself) Ha! I'm looking forward to it!
Hillary: (Talk to herself) Yes, I made it. I'm going to tell Bill this good news!
ScenceIII

(At McDonald's, Bill was waiting for Monica.
A few minutes later, Monica saw Bill and walked toward Bill)

Monica: Hi... Are you Bill?
Bill: Yes, I am. You're Monica?
Monica: Yeah.. that's right.
Bill: You look great!
Monica: You're not bad, either. Hey, Let's find a table!
Bill: Yeah! How about that one? I've ordered some things.
(They found a table and began talking.)

Monica: Bill!
Bill: Monica!
Bill: Oh! Lady first!
Monica: Bill, have you already finished your computer report?
Bill: Uh...Uh... Did I tell you that?
Monica: Yes, you did. You said it was about how to kill virus. Did you find out how to do that?
Bill: Kill virus? That's easy for me. I'm a genius. Just use a knife.
Monica: A knife?
Bill: Yeah! Knife can kill everything.
Monica: What are you talking about? Alright! Alright! Forget it! And how about the novel we discussed last week?
Bill: Novel? I've read so many novels, which one?
Monica: "The old man and the sea", don't you forget? What happened to that old man?
Bill: Yeah! That old man! He caught a big fish and then became a hero.
Monica: Hmm. He has a strong will, doesn't he? He never gives up anything. And how about the fish?
Bill: Did you forget? He cooked the fish and ate it!
Monica: And~~it's delicious, right?
Bill: You got it! It's very delicious!
Monica: Nonsense! The fish was eaten by the sharks . You're not Bill, are you?
Bill: Of course I'm Bill. "B~I-L-L"
Monica: But you seem different from the way you are on net. Who are you for God's sake?
Bill: Ok. I tell you the truth. I'm Bill, but not the one you talked to on net. That was my sister, Hillary.
Monica: Are you kidding me?
Bill: No, that's true. I really want to have a girlfriend, so she helped me out. She met you on net and thought you're a nice girl. So she arranged us to meet each other.
Monica: That means both of you tricked me?
Bill: So what? That's Hillary's idea.
Monica: You. ..You..... (She is very angry)
Monica: Gosh! I was tricked for such a long time!
Scence IV

(Monica left McDonald angrily)

(At Monica's room, again.)

Monica: (Crying) How foolish I was! What on earth was I doing? (Still crying) I think I need someone to talk to.
(She looked around and saw the time)

Monica: Ah, 8:30. It's "Paula's Time."
(She turned on the TV)

Paula: Welcome to "Paula's Time" I'm Paula Jones, not Dow Jones. Today we'll discuss some net problems. Nowadays Internet helps modern people live more convenient lives, get the latest information. You can say that we live in an Internet world. However, some bad guys made use of Internet to do illegal deals or trick people. So, today we will listen to some friends' problems and help them solve it. Our hot line number is 111-1234. Please dial it as soon as possible. I'm waiting for your call-in. OK. Who's the first friend?
Monica: Hi, Paula, I'm Monica.
Paula: Yes, Monica, what do you want to share with us?
Monica: I met a girl, Hillary, on net three months ago. She pretended to be her brother, Bill, and chatted with me. But I didn't know the truth until yesterday that we arranged to meet each other. He told me that Hillary surfed the net to help him find a girlfriend. And that was me. I felt I was tricked and I was very sad. Do you think I'm wrong?
Paula: It seems like Bill takes special interests in Monica just like our president. Monica, it's a serious and common social problem in modern society. Lots of people want to make friends on the Internet. But you must be careful. On the net, people use nicknames to protect themselves, or even trick others to do something bad. Everyone on the net wears a mask. Sometimes it's evil that hides under the mask. So you had better watch out. Never date with strangers by yourself. Strangers are dangerous.
Monica: Thanks, Paula. You do help me a lot. I know what I should do now.
(Suddenly someone is calling Monica on net)

Starr: Hi! Monica! I'm Starr. May I make friends with you?
Monica: Oh! No! Not again!
(Lights out)

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
wife is wusong.
译:人人都说我怕老婆,实际上我是老虎,(小声)我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
译:我才不怕你呢!

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
译:谁怕谁啊!在邻里中,我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些,但是她却不懂温柔!有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊!

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
译:我的天!谁来救救我啊?

act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ,mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum, i’m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?
j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬礼):yes madam!

act4
(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头,但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)

act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期.ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来.j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向ms冲去)
(j与ms混战,jm上,以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l,关切地问):honey, how are you?
l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)

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