六一相声剧本 最搞笑 六一儿童节表演单人相声五分钟以内搞笑的段子剧本一个人的相声
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\u90ed
珍惜时间
甲：日月如穿梭，光阴快似箭。
乙：呦，你又在这拽呢?
甲：拿你来说吧，今年有11了吧?
乙：都12了。
甲：你瞧瞧一晃儿这么大了。
乙：一晃儿?
甲：这“晃”也是形容时间的词儿。刚生出来这么一点儿，一晃儿3岁进幼儿园，又一晃儿6岁读小学，再一晃儿12，该小学毕业了，你再这么晃几下......
乙：怎么样?
甲：你就没了。
乙：敢情我一辈子净晃晃了。
甲：这个晃，跟刚才讲的箭是同一个意思。
乙：形容日月、光阴。
甲：让你自己说，时间快不快?
乙：太快了。
甲：可我们一些小伙伴不珍惜时间，嫌时间用不了。
乙：还有嫌时间多的?
甲：有个同学叫王小虎，老嫌时间过的慢。你看他那劲头，一天到晚两眼老跟挣不开似的，磨磨蹭蹭耗时间。听
不见他说话，一说准是这句话。
乙：说什么呢?
甲:“怎么还不放学呀?”
乙：老盼放学啊?
甲：脾气倒是不错，冲谁都笑:“你这儿干吗呐”?乙：我学习呢，你干什么呢?
甲:“嘻嘻，不知道。”
乙：作业写完了吗?
甲:“嘻——不知道。”
乙：考试及格了吗?
甲:“嘻——不知道。”
乙：这也不知道啊!
甲:“嘻——不知道。”
乙：你这次数学考多少分?
甲:“9分......”
乙：不是不知道啊?
甲：上次考试得10分。
乙：又少1分。
甲：你说，要这样发展下去，小学还能毕业吗?
乙：我看，再不珍惜时间，就不能毕业了。
甲：我算了一下，我们小学生，能学习的时间太少了。乙：是吗?
甲：每年两个学期，每学期20个星期。
乙：一年就上280天的学。
甲：去掉周末两天，还剩多少?
乙：一年就上200天的学。
甲：每天睡觉八个小时，三八二十四，有三分之一睡觉了。
乙：那吃饭走路呢?
甲：每天不得四个小时啊。
乙：吃饭睡觉走路又刨去一半，还剩100天了。
甲：这100天也不能全是学习呀!
乙：还干什么呀?
甲：看电视，玩游戏。
乙：就这还玩呢。
甲：玩玩棋，打打球，没事来盘“争上游”。这又得占去一半时间。
乙：还剩50天了。
甲：上课走走神儿，下课闹闹事儿。
乙：这还不好好学习?
甲：考试前，抓时间，问前桌，问后位。
乙：着急了?
甲：考试还是得了个不及格。
乙：剩下的50天还没有好好学，该得零蛋。
哈
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