求英语误会的笑话 求一篇有关单词理解错误而造成误会的英语笑话
\u6c42\u5173\u4e8e\u8bef\u89e3\u7684\u82f1\u8bed\u6545\u4e8b\uff0c\u8d8a\u641e\u7b11\u8d8a\u597dhttp://zhidao.baidu.com/question/16306003.html?an=0&si=4
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Submitted by Carcelli's family
Hi Jack---hijack
\u4e2d\u6587\uff1a\u6211\u5728\u673a\u573a\u8fce\u63a5\u5802\u5f1f\u6770\u514b\u65f6\uff0c\u88ab\u6293\u4e86\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a\u6211\u5728\u673a\u573a\u5927\u558a"\u6253\u52ab"\u3002
\u8bf4\u660e\uff1ahijiack\uff1a\u6253\u52ab
\u800c\u6211\u7684\u5802\u5f1f\u53ebJack(\u6770\u514b\uff09\uff0c\u6211\u62db\u547c\u4ed6\u7528\u4e86hi(\u55e8\uff09\uff0cJack(\u6770\u514b\uff09\u3002\u8fde\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\uff08hijack)\u3002
\u4ec5\u4f9b\u53c2\u8003\uff01
1. Horse sense = \u5e38\u8bc6\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u9a6c\u7684\u611f\u89c9\uff09\uff1b
2. Capital idea = \u597d\u4e3b\u610f\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u8d44\u672c\u4e3b\u4e49\u601d\u60f3\uff09\uff1b
3. Familiar talk = \u5eb8\u4fd7\u7684\u4ea4\u8c08\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u719f\u6089\u7684\u8c08\u8bdd\uff09\uff1b
4. Green hand = \u65b0\u624b\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u7eff\u624b\uff09\uff1b
5. Have a fit = \u52c3\u7136\u5927\u6012\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u8bd5\u7a7f\uff09\uff1b
6. Black art = \u5996\u672f\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u9ed1\u8272\u827a\u672f\uff09\uff1b
7. Chinese dragon = \u9e92\u9e9f\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u4e2d\u56fd\u9f99\uff09\uff1b
8. Red tape = \u5b98\u50da\u4e60\u6c14\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u7ea2\u8272\u5e26\u5b50\uff09\uff1b
9. China policy = \u5bf9\u534e\u653f\u7b56\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u4e2d\u534e\u653f\u7b56\uff09\uff1b
10. White man = \u5fe0\u5b9e\u53ef\u9760\u7684\u4eba\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u76ae\u80a4\u767d\u8272\u7684\u4eba\uff09\uff1b
11. Black stranger = \u5b8c\u5168\u964c\u751f\u7684\u4eba\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u964c\u751f\u7684\u9ed1\u4eba\uff09\uff1b
12. An apple of love = \u897f\u7ea2\u67ff\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u7231\u60c5\u4e4b\u679c\uff09\uff1b
13. Handwriting on the wall = \u4e0d\u7965\u4e4b\u5146\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u5927\u5b57\u62a5\uff09\uff1b
14. Bring down the house = \u535a\u5f97\u6ee1\u5802\u559d\u5f69\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u63a8\u5012\u623f\u5b50\uff09\uff1b
15. Blind date =\uff08\u7531\u7b2c\u4e09\u8005\u5b89\u6392\u7684\uff09\u7537\u5973\u521d\u6b21\u89c1\u9762\uff08\u5047\u82f1\u8bed\uff1a\u76f2\u76ee\u7684\u7ea6\u4f1a\u6216\u8005\u662f\u778e\u7ea6\u4f1a\uff09\uff1b
文/隔山唱歌
我不懂英语，所说的英语笑话也都是听别人所说凭记忆写出来，其中发音该怎样也就按照所听到的来选择与其音相同和相近的汉语读音。当然，会英语的人一看自然明白，不会的也就按照汉语发音笑笑乐乐，轻松一下：
一、好大的油肚
英语你好读音为“好嘟优嘟”。一胖子每天早晨在公园渡步背英语单词。一天，正练习英语单词的他看到迎面来了一个认识的人，于是迎上去用英语说：“好嘟优嘟！”对方伸手拍了拍他的肚皮说：“是啊，好大的油肚，你的油肚也不小！”
二、你才骚勒
候车室里，一女孩拿着英语书边走边念，突然踩在一中年妇女的脚上，赶忙用英语说对不起：“稍锐！”对方站起来说道：“怎么这样没礼貌，踩到人不说对不起，还骂人骚勒，你才骚勒！”
三、ABCD
某培训班自习课上，男学员问女学员：“哈日本特（丈夫）怎么拼写？”女学员瞪他一眼，挥挥手说：“勾B，勾B（地方脏话：滚开，滚开！）”男学员一脸茫然，边走回座位边自言语：“ABCD，不对，没有这样的拼法。”前后左右轰然大笑！
四、骂人是牲口
一职工找出纳报账，出纳坚持让他找领导签字后才给报销，僵持一会后，来报账的职工拿出香烟说：“抽支烟？”出纳头也不抬说：“散克油（谢谢）！”职工说：“不给报就算了嘛，发烟给你抽你还骂人是‘牲口！’”
五、哥哥要摸你
男同事早晨上班，抬手向女同事打招呼说早上好：“估得抹宁！”，女同事猛然后退一步，指着男同事大声说：“大危险分子，你给我死远点！”其他同事听到后问是怎么回事，女同事说：“他把手伸向我说‘估的（方言：强行的意思）摸你’”。隔壁办公室一老同志没听太清，便又对别人说：“想不到XX看起来挺斯文的一个人，他竟然对女同事说哥哥要摸你！”
六、别跟我说英语
一博友留言：“隔山唱歌给DANG听。”我到她博客中留言：“别跟我说英语，说了也白说，我不懂！”回头再看留言中的字母，连起来一读原来是“党”的拼音。博友又给我回复：“哈哈哈哈哈！”
意大利人在美国餐馆
One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast.
I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast... she brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna two pieces"（发音不标准，侍者听成了to piss）
She say "Go to the toilet". I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate".
She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you son of a bitch".
I do not even know this lady and she call me a son of a bitch!!
Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant.
The waiter brings me a Spoon and a knife but no fork.
I tell her "I wanna a fork" （侍者听成fuck）and she tell me: "everyone wanna fuck".
I tell her "you don't understand me...I wannafork on the table".
She say: "you better not fuck on the table You son of a bitch.",
So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet"（侍者听成了shit）.
He tell me: “Go to the toilet.”
I say "you don't understand, wanna a sheet on my bed".
He say: "you better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch".
I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said "peace on you".
And I say: "Piss on you too, you son of a bitch". I gonna back to Italy.
Have fun!
有一外宾到一中国商店购物，售货员问：您买啥？外宾说：pen.售货员拿一脸盆给外宾。外宾道：No.
售货员答：新的，不漏！
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