不差钱英语表演剧本

  小品:“不差钱”

  (2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)

  Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景,写着:“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装,身上背着一串蒜头,手上拿着野鸡,拉着毛毛上场。)

  (This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)

  Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山:到了。

  Yadar Here we are. 毛毛: 到了。

  Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~

  赵本山:这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不,苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!

  毛毛: 爷爷,你念反了,苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。

  Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山:啊,情调?就搁这儿吃。

  Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛: 爷爷,这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 赵本山:贵?咱带钱了,带三万多块,那包呢?

  Yadar What bag? 毛毛: 我没拿包啊。

  Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.

  赵本山:装钱那包,黄包。

  Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛: 完了,让我落炕上了。

  Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you fet it! Any money left on you?

  赵本山:我说,你这孩子还能办点事吗?!这给你办事,落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗?

  Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.

  毛毛: 兜里,多少钱哪才?才70多块钱。

  Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.

  赵本山:我还有400。行,够了。

  Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛: 这也不能够啊。

  Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter!

  赵本山:哎呀,够不够就这样了。服务员!

  (小沈阳上)(Shenyang, the waiter, enters.)

  Shenyang Sorry, sir. We're of high class here. We don't take on stuff from street . 小沈阳:对不起大爷,我们这是高档酒店,不收农副产品。

  Uncle Zhao We're your customers. Don't we look like it?

  赵本山:不是,我们是吃饭的。不像啊?(翻起衣服,露出衣服里面的百元大钞) Shenyang oh yeah yeah yeah ….

  小沈阳:是的是的。。。。

  Uncle Zhao this is an important meal here, miss.

  赵本山:我说姑娘啊,这顿饭非常重要。

  Shenyang I’m not a miss ,I’m a man ,a real man from the inside out.

  小沈阳:妈呀,你管谁叫姑娘呢,人家是纯爷们。

  Shenyang Uncle Zhao Then, how can you wear in a skirt?

  赵本山:咋这么个打扮,还穿个裙子呢。

  Shenyang See, it's no skirt but Capri pants .it's men's wear in Scottish style.. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking.

  小沈阳:这是按我们苏格兰风格来包装的。再说也不是裙子啊,这不七分裤吗。你看,是有腿的哦。妈呀,着急穿跑偏了。妈呀,我说走道咋没有裆呢。

  Uncle Zhao Leave that trouser for tomorrow, hah! I tell you, boy, we're gonna have a important guest here in a minute. You must do you' best.

  赵本山:行了,那条腿留明儿个穿,哈哈哈。小伙子我跟你说呀,今天我要请一位重要客人吃饭,你一定要招待好。

  Shenyang No problem.

  小沈阳:呃,没问题。

  Uncle Zhao How much did the most expensive meal cost here? .

  赵本山:我问问你,你们这个酒店把最贵的都点上得多少钱?

  Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000.

  小沈阳:得一、两万的。

  Uncle Zhao What if somebody eats today and pays tomorrow?

  赵本山:一、两万?啊,那啥,有没有这种情况,今儿个吃完了,明儿个来结账? Shenyang Are you IOU?

  小沈阳:打白条儿啊?

  Uncle Zhao Not that. I've got the money anyway. Take this.

  赵本山:不是啊,不是打白条,不差钱,有钱。喏。

  Shenyang What's it?

  小沈阳:啥意思?

  Uncle Zhao A tip for you.

  赵本山:小费。

  Shenyang You are handsome, sir - you look cool!

  小沈阳:妈呀,大爷你真敞亮,你太帅了。

  Uncle Zhao that’ok . but you are not get it for nothing'. When my guest es, you put on a show with me. If I order expensive food, you should stop me doing so.

  赵本山:给一百块钱还帅呢。我跟你说这不白给啊。一会儿客人到了,你一定要给足我面子,明白吗?我到点菜的时候,你得替我兜着点。

  Shenyang Like how’s?

  小沈阳:咋兜呢?

  Uncle Zhao Showing due respect for my guest, but don not too expensive .What if I ask for something dear?

  赵本山:既把面子给了,但是呢又不能花得......太狠。我要点贵菜...... Shenyang I'll say "sorry, this we don't have."

  小沈阳:我就说没有呗。

  Uncle Zhao You're smart. Come on boy ,

  赵本山:哎呀妈呀,你太厉害了。来来来,拿点.(从衣服里又拿出钱)

  Shenyang Thank you

  小沈阳:谢谢。

  Yadar Grandpa, I'm hungry.

  毛毛: 爷爷,我有点饿了。

  Uncle Zhao How much's a bowl of noodles?

  赵本山:饿了?来碗面条。

  Shenyang 78 yuan.

  小沈阳:呃,78一碗。

  Uncle Zhao What noodles can be so expensive?

  赵本山:啥面?这么贵。

  Shenyang Scottish sauced noodles.

  小沈阳:苏格兰打卤面。

  Uncle Zhao Does the sauce cost much?

  赵本山:是不是卤子贵?

  Shenyang It's free.

  小沈阳:卤不要钱。

  Uncle Zhao Get us a bowl of sauce, so we can see whether the taste is right. Tack it quack!

  赵本山:那就来碗卤子,先尝尝咸淡。快去,快去。

  Shenyang It is no one to called before, sir.

  小沈阳:妈呀,没这么上过呀。

  Uncle Zhao You think so only because I didn't show up here before. Now it's time to make change.

  赵本山:那是我没来,我要来,你早就这么上了。去吧去吧。

  Shenyang (to himself) If I say noodle free, ask for noodle have.

  小沈阳:这老爷子,我要说面条不要钱,要面条了你还。

  Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Listen here, Yadar. When Mr. Bi from CCTV's 星光大道 es, you must show your' best, OK?

  赵本山:来,站起来。跟你说,一会儿星光大道的毕老师来了,你一定要给我争个脸,好不?

  Yadar:ok.

  毛毛: 好吧。

  Uncle zhao : It's the best opportunity for you' own future. Grandpa's been preparin you over the past 40-plus years.

  赵本山:这是个绝好的机会,爷爷我已经培养你40年了。

  Yadar Grandpa,see how old I now.

  毛毛:看我才多大呀?、

  Uncle Zhao I prepared you' daddy for 30 extra years. Though he is not good enough, So you really should outdo him. Can you make it ?

  赵本山:我还培养你爸三十多年呢。这不,你爸那是个半成品,我都给培养成文化站站长了。你一定要超过他,有决心吗?

  Yadar I can.

  毛毛:我能!

  Uncle Zhao That is my girl, good for you .

  (小沈阳再次上场.)

  Shenyang Here's the sauce for you.

  小沈阳:给你的汤

  Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Eat this, so you won't be too hungry.

  Yadar Grandpa, it's a bit salty.

  Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Fetch her some water to drink.

  Shenyang free water?

  Uncle Zhao of carouse.

  Shenyang: ok, wait a minute.

  (毕福剑上)(小沈阳扔掉手中的东西)非常滑稽

  Shenyang oh a oh a …. You are that one ??you are..you are..you are Zhujun! Oh sorry.you are..you are you are Bai Yansong? Oh no. you are…you are Mr Bi ! Are you Mr. Bi?

  小沈阳: 哟,你不是那谁吗,你是那个......蒙住了。朱军?!不是朱军。白岩松?!不是。老毕......你是毕老师吗?!

  CCTV Man I'm Bi Fujian.

  毕福剑:我姓毕。

  henyang Come here everyone, it`s Mr. Bi here.

  小沈阳 毕老师来了,快来人啊,毕老师来了。

  Uncle Zhao Hi Hi Hi!!!Watch ever !

  赵本山:干啥,吵吵巴火的?

  Shenyang He's Mr. Bi...

  小沈阳:毕老师......

  Uncle Zhao I know, he's my guest.

  赵本山:我知道,这就是我要请的客人。

  Shenyang Mr. Bi,can I take a picture with you?

  小沈阳:毕老师,你给我照个相呗!

  赵本山: 你先等一会儿。刚到是吧?

  Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Wait, wait. (To CCTV Man) Wele, Mr. Bi. CCTV Man Nice to meet you.

  毕福剑:你好

  Uncle Zhao I've been wait you for a long time.

  赵本山:我在这儿等半天了。

  CCTV Man Thanks a lot really. You are?

  毕福剑:你好你好。请问您是......?

  Uncle Zhao Are you looking for~?

  赵本山:你找谁?

  CCTV Man I'm looking for Zhao Tiezhu.

  毕福剑:我找莲花乡文化站站长赵铁柱。

  Uncle Zhao oh~~~You got it. Here's his daddy ...

  赵本山:找对了,这就是赵铁柱的爹,我是......

  Yadar Zhao Tiezhu is my daddy.

  毛毛: 赵铁柱是我爹。

  Uncle Zhao Ho, I'm Tiezhu's daddy. Aren't you looking for a dad?

  赵本山:我是赵铁柱的爹。你不是找爹吗?

  CCTV Man yes, daddy... oh no !I’m looking for your son,Where is your son? 毕福剑:爹......不是,我找您儿子。

  Uncle Zhao He's at the township waiting for you. thery wele you very warmly! they've prepared a great hall, a big room, with a large photo of you hung in the middle. Flowers all around.

  赵本山:他在乡里等你呢。啊呀,乡里布置得老隆重啊,乡长、书记都在那儿排队等你呢。布一个大厅,完事弄一个大房间,给你弄一个大照片挂中间,周围全是花呀。

  CCTV Man What're the colors ?

  毕福剑:老哥,这花都什么颜色?

  Uncle Zhao They're all in white and yellow. Soo beautiful!!

  赵本山:白的、黄的都有啊。很漂亮。

  CCTV Man What?/Why?

  毕福剑:为什么?

  Uncle Zhao They're so excited.

  赵本山:这不激动吗,你去了。

  CCTV Man Let's go there, then.

  毕福剑:咱去乡里吧。

  Uncle Zhao Oh no!! you know here is the best restaurant in 铁岭, How abut that? 赵本山:别介,乡里布置我,说先搁铁岭吃一顿,完事上那儿。你看吧。 CCTV Man ohno on on on on on on ! I've had my meal on the plane.

  毕福剑:别别,大爷,不,老哥,我在飞机上吃了。

  Uncle Zhao You're my guest, so please follow me.

  赵本山:那客随主便,好不好?给你怎么安排你就听话,来来。

  Shenyang Mir Bi ,take a photo with you ??

  小沈阳:毕老师,你不给照个相吗?毕老师。

  CCTV Man (to Shenyang) You're... a male waiter?

  毕福剑:你是男服务员?

  Shenyang Yup

  小沈阳:嗯哪。

  CCTV Man hei hei hei……You looks so sweet, boy.

  毕福剑:长得挺委婉的。

  Uncle Zhao I agree with you. haha…….we are must be townee.

  赵本山:来这边,我们一定是老乡。

  CCTV Man Really?

  毕福剑:真的?

  Uncle Zhao Aren’t you from Dalian?

  赵本山:你不是大连人吗?

整理:zhl201611

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