不差钱英语表演剧本
小品:“不差钱”(2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)
Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景,写着:“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装,身上背着一串蒜头,手上拿着野鸡,拉着毛毛上场。)
(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)
Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山:到了。
Yadar Here we are. 毛毛: 到了。
Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~
赵本山:这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不,苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!
毛毛: 爷爷,你念反了,苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。
Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山:啊,情调?就搁这儿吃。
Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛: 爷爷,这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 赵本山:贵?咱带钱了,带三万多块,那包呢?
Yadar What bag? 毛毛: 我没拿包啊。
Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.
赵本山:装钱那包,黄包。
Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛: 完了,让我落炕上了。
Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you fet it! Any money left on you?
赵本山:我说,你这孩子还能办点事吗?!这给你办事,落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗?
Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.
毛毛: 兜里,多少钱哪才?才70多块钱。
Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.
赵本山:我还有400。行,够了。
Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛: 这也不能够啊。
Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter!
赵本山:哎呀,够不够就这样了。服务员!
(小沈阳上)(Shenyang, the waiter, enters.)
Shenyang Sorry, sir. We're of high class here. We don't take on stuff from street . 小沈阳:对不起大爷,我们这是高档酒店,不收农副产品。
Uncle Zhao We're your customers. Don't we look like it?
赵本山:不是,我们是吃饭的。不像啊?(翻起衣服,露出衣服里面的百元大钞) Shenyang oh yeah yeah yeah ….
小沈阳:是的是的。。。。
Uncle Zhao this is an important meal here, miss.
赵本山:我说姑娘啊,这顿饭非常重要。
Shenyang I’m not a miss ,I’m a man ,a real man from the inside out.
小沈阳:妈呀,你管谁叫姑娘呢,人家是纯爷们。
Shenyang Uncle Zhao Then, how can you wear in a skirt?
赵本山:咋这么个打扮,还穿个裙子呢。
Shenyang See, it's no skirt but Capri pants .it's men's wear in Scottish style.. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking.
小沈阳:这是按我们苏格兰风格来包装的。再说也不是裙子啊,这不七分裤吗。你看,是有腿的哦。妈呀,着急穿跑偏了。妈呀,我说走道咋没有裆呢。
Uncle Zhao Leave that trouser for tomorrow, hah! I tell you, boy, we're gonna have a important guest here in a minute. You must do you' best.
赵本山:行了,那条腿留明儿个穿,哈哈哈。小伙子我跟你说呀,今天我要请一位重要客人吃饭,你一定要招待好。
Shenyang No problem.
小沈阳:呃,没问题。
Uncle Zhao How much did the most expensive meal cost here? .
赵本山:我问问你,你们这个酒店把最贵的都点上得多少钱?
Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000.
小沈阳:得一、两万的。
Uncle Zhao What if somebody eats today and pays tomorrow?
赵本山:一、两万?啊,那啥,有没有这种情况,今儿个吃完了,明儿个来结账? Shenyang Are you IOU?
小沈阳:打白条儿啊?
Uncle Zhao Not that. I've got the money anyway. Take this.
赵本山:不是啊,不是打白条,不差钱,有钱。喏。
Shenyang What's it?
小沈阳:啥意思?
Uncle Zhao A tip for you.
赵本山:小费。
Shenyang You are handsome, sir - you look cool!
小沈阳:妈呀,大爷你真敞亮,你太帅了。
Uncle Zhao that’ok . but you are not get it for nothing'. When my guest es, you put on a show with me. If I order expensive food, you should stop me doing so.
赵本山:给一百块钱还帅呢。我跟你说这不白给啊。一会儿客人到了,你一定要给足我面子,明白吗?我到点菜的时候,你得替我兜着点。
Shenyang Like how’s?
小沈阳:咋兜呢?
Uncle Zhao Showing due respect for my guest, but don not too expensive .What if I ask for something dear?
赵本山:既把面子给了,但是呢又不能花得......太狠。我要点贵菜...... Shenyang I'll say "sorry, this we don't have."
小沈阳:我就说没有呗。
Uncle Zhao You're smart. Come on boy ,
赵本山:哎呀妈呀,你太厉害了。来来来,拿点.(从衣服里又拿出钱)
Shenyang Thank you
小沈阳:谢谢。
Yadar Grandpa, I'm hungry.
毛毛: 爷爷,我有点饿了。
Uncle Zhao How much's a bowl of noodles?
赵本山:饿了?来碗面条。
Shenyang 78 yuan.
小沈阳:呃,78一碗。
Uncle Zhao What noodles can be so expensive?
赵本山:啥面?这么贵。
Shenyang Scottish sauced noodles.
小沈阳:苏格兰打卤面。
Uncle Zhao Does the sauce cost much?
赵本山:是不是卤子贵?
Shenyang It's free.
小沈阳:卤不要钱。
Uncle Zhao Get us a bowl of sauce, so we can see whether the taste is right. Tack it quack!
赵本山:那就来碗卤子,先尝尝咸淡。快去,快去。
Shenyang It is no one to called before, sir.
小沈阳:妈呀,没这么上过呀。
Uncle Zhao You think so only because I didn't show up here before. Now it's time to make change.
赵本山:那是我没来,我要来,你早就这么上了。去吧去吧。
Shenyang (to himself) If I say noodle free, ask for noodle have.
小沈阳:这老爷子,我要说面条不要钱,要面条了你还。
Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Listen here, Yadar. When Mr. Bi from CCTV's 星光大道 es, you must show your' best, OK?
赵本山:来,站起来。跟你说,一会儿星光大道的毕老师来了,你一定要给我争个脸,好不?
Yadar:ok.
毛毛: 好吧。
Uncle zhao : It's the best opportunity for you' own future. Grandpa's been preparin you over the past 40-plus years.
赵本山:这是个绝好的机会,爷爷我已经培养你40年了。
Yadar Grandpa,see how old I now.
毛毛:看我才多大呀?、
Uncle Zhao I prepared you' daddy for 30 extra years. Though he is not good enough, So you really should outdo him. Can you make it ?
赵本山:我还培养你爸三十多年呢。这不,你爸那是个半成品,我都给培养成文化站站长了。你一定要超过他,有决心吗?
Yadar I can.
毛毛:我能!
Uncle Zhao That is my girl, good for you .
(小沈阳再次上场.)
Shenyang Here's the sauce for you.
小沈阳:给你的汤
Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Eat this, so you won't be too hungry.
Yadar Grandpa, it's a bit salty.
Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Fetch her some water to drink.
Shenyang free water?
Uncle Zhao of carouse.
Shenyang: ok, wait a minute.
(毕福剑上)(小沈阳扔掉手中的东西)非常滑稽
Shenyang oh a oh a …. You are that one ??you are..you are..you are Zhujun! Oh sorry.you are..you are you are Bai Yansong? Oh no. you are…you are Mr Bi ! Are you Mr. Bi?
小沈阳: 哟,你不是那谁吗,你是那个......蒙住了。朱军?!不是朱军。白岩松?!不是。老毕......你是毕老师吗?!
CCTV Man I'm Bi Fujian.
毕福剑:我姓毕。
henyang Come here everyone, it`s Mr. Bi here.
小沈阳 毕老师来了,快来人啊,毕老师来了。
Uncle Zhao Hi Hi Hi!!!Watch ever !
赵本山:干啥,吵吵巴火的?
Shenyang He's Mr. Bi...
小沈阳:毕老师......
Uncle Zhao I know, he's my guest.
赵本山:我知道,这就是我要请的客人。
Shenyang Mr. Bi,can I take a picture with you?
小沈阳:毕老师,你给我照个相呗!
赵本山: 你先等一会儿。刚到是吧?
Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Wait, wait. (To CCTV Man) Wele, Mr. Bi. CCTV Man Nice to meet you.
毕福剑:你好
Uncle Zhao I've been wait you for a long time.
赵本山:我在这儿等半天了。
CCTV Man Thanks a lot really. You are?
毕福剑:你好你好。请问您是......?
Uncle Zhao Are you looking for~?
赵本山:你找谁?
CCTV Man I'm looking for Zhao Tiezhu.
毕福剑:我找莲花乡文化站站长赵铁柱。
Uncle Zhao oh~~~You got it. Here's his daddy ...
赵本山:找对了,这就是赵铁柱的爹,我是......
Yadar Zhao Tiezhu is my daddy.
毛毛: 赵铁柱是我爹。
Uncle Zhao Ho, I'm Tiezhu's daddy. Aren't you looking for a dad?
赵本山:我是赵铁柱的爹。你不是找爹吗?
CCTV Man yes, daddy... oh no !I’m looking for your son,Where is your son? 毕福剑:爹......不是,我找您儿子。
Uncle Zhao He's at the township waiting for you. thery wele you very warmly! they've prepared a great hall, a big room, with a large photo of you hung in the middle. Flowers all around.
赵本山:他在乡里等你呢。啊呀,乡里布置得老隆重啊,乡长、书记都在那儿排队等你呢。布一个大厅,完事弄一个大房间,给你弄一个大照片挂中间,周围全是花呀。
CCTV Man What're the colors ?
毕福剑:老哥,这花都什么颜色?
Uncle Zhao They're all in white and yellow. Soo beautiful!!
赵本山:白的、黄的都有啊。很漂亮。
CCTV Man What?/Why?
毕福剑:为什么?
Uncle Zhao They're so excited.
赵本山:这不激动吗,你去了。
CCTV Man Let's go there, then.
毕福剑:咱去乡里吧。
Uncle Zhao Oh no!! you know here is the best restaurant in 铁岭, How abut that? 赵本山:别介,乡里布置我,说先搁铁岭吃一顿,完事上那儿。你看吧。 CCTV Man ohno on on on on on on ! I've had my meal on the plane.
毕福剑:别别,大爷,不,老哥,我在飞机上吃了。
Uncle Zhao You're my guest, so please follow me.
赵本山:那客随主便,好不好?给你怎么安排你就听话,来来。
Shenyang Mir Bi ,take a photo with you ??
小沈阳:毕老师,你不给照个相吗?毕老师。
CCTV Man (to Shenyang) You're... a male waiter?
毕福剑:你是男服务员?
Shenyang Yup
小沈阳:嗯哪。
CCTV Man hei hei hei……You looks so sweet, boy.
毕福剑:长得挺委婉的。
Uncle Zhao I agree with you. haha…….we are must be townee.
赵本山:来这边,我们一定是老乡。
CCTV Man Really?
毕福剑:真的?
Uncle Zhao Aren’t you from Dalian?
赵本山:你不是大连人吗?
整理:zhl201611
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