英语小笑话 简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
\u82f1\u8bed\u5c0f\u7b11\u8bdd\u5927\u51681\u3001A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table\uff08\u4e00\u4f4d\u5386\u53f2\u8001\u5e08\u548c\u4ed6\u7684\u59bb\u5b50\u5728\u5403\u996d\uff09
the wife asked \u201cAnything new at work\u201d, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".
\uff08\u59bb\u5b50\u95ee\u5230\uff1a\u201c\u5de5\u4f5c\u4e0a\u6709\u4ec0\u4e48\u65b0\u9c9c\u4e8b\u5417?\u201d\u4e08\u592b\u56de\u7b54\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6ca1\u6709\uff0c\u6211\u662f\u6559\u5386\u53f2\u7684\u3002\u201d\uff09
2\u3001The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
\u6559\u8fdb\u5316\u8bba\u7684\u8001\u5e08\u5df2\u7ecf\u6ed4\u6ed4\u4e0d\u7edd\u5730\u8bb2\u4e86\u5feb\u4e24\u4e2a\u5c0f\u65f6\uff0c\u4ed6\u7684\u8bdd\u9898\u53c8\u6765\u4e86\uff1a\u201c\u8ba9\u6211\u5411\u8fdb\u5316\u8bba\u8005\u63d0\u4e2a\u95ee\u9898\u2014\u2014\u5982\u679c\u6211\u4eec\u66fe\u7ecf\u50cf\u72d2\u72d2\u90a3\u6837\u957f\u7740\u5c3e\u5df4\uff0c\u90a3\u4e48\u73b0\u5728\u5c3e\u5df4\u5230\u54ea\u91cc\u53bb\u4e86?\u201d
"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".\u201c\u6211\u6765\u8bd5\u8bd5\u770b\uff0c\u201d\u4e00\u4f4d\u8001\u592a\u592a\u8bf4\u3002\u201c\u8be5\u662f\u6211\u4eec\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u5750\u8fd9\u4e48\u4e45\u628a\u5b83\u4eec\u78e8\u6389\u4e86\u5427\u3002\u201d
3\u3001A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.
\u4e00\u5bf9\u5e74\u8f7b\u7684\u592b\u5987\u5bf9\u4e8e\u4ed6\u4eec\u56db\u5c81\u7684\u513f\u5b50\u4ecd\u7136\u4e0d\u4f1a\u8bf4\u8bdd\u8fd9\u4ef6\u4e8b\u975e\u5e38\u7740\u6025\u3002\u4ed6\u4eec\u5e26\u4ed6\u53bb\u770b\u4e13\u5bb6\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u533b\u751f\u4eec\u627e\u4e0d\u51fa\u4efb\u4f55\u4e0d\u6b63\u5e38\u7684\u5730\u65b9\u3002
Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."\u4e4b\u540e\u6709\u4e00\u5929\u65e9\u4e0a\uff0c\u8fd9\u4e2a\u7537\u5b69\u7a81\u7136\u8bf4\u9053\uff1a\u201c\u5988\u5988\uff0c\u9762\u5305\u62f7\u7cca\u4e86\u3002\u201d
"You talked! You talked!" shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long."\u201c\u4f60\u8bf4\u8bdd\u4e86!\u4f60\u8bf4\u8bdd\u4e86!\u201d\u4ed6\u7684\u5988\u5988\u56b7\u9053\u3002\u201c\u6211\u771f\u9ad8\u5174!\u4f46\u662f\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u8981\u6211\u4eec\u7b49\u8fd9\u4e48\u957f\u7684\u65f6\u95f4\u5462?\u201d
"Well, up till now," said the boy, "things have been okay."\u201c\u55ef\uff0c\u76f4\u5230\u73b0\u5728\uff0c\u201d\u7537\u5b69\u8bf4\uff0c\u201c\u6bcf\u4ef6\u4e8b\u90fd\u5f88\u6b63\u5e38\u554a\u3002\u201d
4\u3001Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
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Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.\u59d0\u59d0\u7684\u7537\u670b\u53cb\uff1a\u4e0d\u8981\u90a3\u6837\u505a\u3002\u7ed9\u4f60\u4e94\u5206\u94b1\u3002
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.\u5f1f\u5f1f\uff1a\u6211\u8fd9\u4e2a\u6708\u5df2\u7ecf\u8d5a\u4e86\u4e00\u5757\u4e24\u6bdb\u4e94\u4e86\u3002
5\u3001Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
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"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"\u201c\u770b\uff0c\u201d\u54e5\u54e5\u8bf4\uff0c\u201c\u8fd9\u4e9b\u753b\u591a\u6f02\u4eae\u5440!\u201d
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"\u3000\u201c\u662f\u554a\uff0c\u201d\u5f1f\u5f1f\u8bf4\u9053\uff0c\u201c\u53ef\u662f\u5728\u6240\u6709\u8fd9\u4e9b\u753b\u4e2d\uff0c\u53ea\u6709\u5988\u5988\u548c\u5b69\u5b50\u3002\u90a3\u7238\u7238\u53bb\u54ea\u513f\u4e86\u5462?\u201d
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."\u54e5\u54e5\u60f3\u4e86\u4f1a\u513f\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u89e3\u91ca\u9053\uff1a\u201c\u5f88\u660e\u663e\uff0c\u4ed6\u5f53\u65f6\u6b63\u5728\u753b\u8fd9\u4e9b\u753b\u5457\u3002\u201d
1\u3001Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. \u7537\u5b69\uff1a\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5ea7\u4f4d\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u4e48\uff1f \u5973\u5b69\uff1a\u662f\u7684\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u5750\u4e0b\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u5ea7\u4f4d\u4e5f\u5c06\u662f\u7a7a\u7684\u3002
2\u3001Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. \u7537\u5b69\uff1a\u6211\u53ef\u4ee5\u7ed9\u4f60\u4e70\u676f\u996e\u6599\u5417\uff1f \u5973\u5b69\uff1a\u4f60\u4e0d\u5982\u76f4\u63a5\u628a\u94b1\u7ed9\u6211\u5f97\u4e86\u3002
3\u3001My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
\u6211\u7684\u72d7\u4e0d\u8bc6\u5b57\u3002\u5e03\u6717\u592b\u4eba\uff1a\u54e6\uff0c \u4eb2\u7231\u7684\uff0c\u6211\u628a\u73cd\u7231\u7684\u5c0f\u72d7\u7ed9\u4e22\u4e86\uff01 \u53f2\u5bc6\u65af\u592b\u4eba\uff1a\u53ef\u662f\u4f60\u8be5\u5728\u62a5\u7eb8\u4e0a\u767b\u5e7f\u544a\u554a\uff01 \u5e03\u6717\u592b\u4eba\uff1a\u6ca1\u6709\u7528\u7684\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u5c0f\u72d7\u4e0d\u8ba4\u8bc6\u5b57\u3002\u201d
4\u3001My Wife Will Exchange Them\u3002A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. \u2033Cloth or leather\ufe56\u2033 asked the salesperson. \u2033Makes no difference \u2033replied customer. \u2033What color\ufe56\u2033 asked the clerk. \u2033Any\u2033 he responded.
\u2033Size\ufe56\u2033 \u2033Give me whatever you prefer\u2033 the gentleman said slightly exasperated. \u2033My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.\u2033
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5\u3001A physics Examination\uff0cOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?
Nick\u2018s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
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6\u3001Jim\u2019s History Examination\u3002Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.
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7\u3001he is really somebody\u3002-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
\u4ed6\u771f\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a\u5927\u4eba\u7269\u3002-- \u6211\u53d4\u53d4\u4e0b\u9762\u67091000\u4e2a\u4eba\u3002-- \u4ed6\u771f\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a\u5927\u4eba\u7269\u3002\u5e72\u4ec0\u4e48\u7684\uff1f-- \u5893\u5730\u5b88\u5893\u4eba\u3002
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Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
Noteroach：蟑螂 munch：用力咀嚼 sanitary：清洁的
中文翻译：
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".
中文翻译：
一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：“工作上有什么新鲜事吗？”丈夫回答说：“没有，我是教历史的。”
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
中文翻译：
一牧师走在乡村的小路上，看见一个年轻的农夫正在费力地将掉落的干草放回车上。
“你看起来很热，我的孩子，”牧师说，“为什么你不歇一会，我会帮助你的。”
“不，谢谢了。”年轻人说。
“我的爸爸不会喜欢我这样做的。”
“别傻了。”牧师说。
“每一个人都有权利休息。来喝点水吧。”
年轻人再一次坚持他爸爸会生气地。牧师没了耐心，说：“你爸爸一定是个苛刻的监工。告诉我我怎样才能找到他，我要给他上一课。”
“好吧。”年轻人回答说。“他在干草的下面。”
你好,
我这里有几个关于英语小笑话的，
你参考一下，
希望能帮到你，
也希望你们快乐！
1、A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
中文翻译：
一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗？”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。”
2、关于水的笑话，你知道吗
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
中文翻译：
生化战争课的老师在课堂上问士兵们：“谁知道水的分子式？”
“当然，太简单了。”一个士兵回答道。
“是什么？”
“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”
“什么，什么？”老师又问道。
“H to O，”化学专家解释道。
3、笑看两只蟑螂之间的讨论
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
Noteroach：蟑螂 munch：用力咀嚼 sanitary：清洁的
中文翻译：
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
4、时间对猪的意义time to pig
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
中文翻译：
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，“我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?”那位农夫回答说，“时间对猪有什么意义？
5、学会礼貌 To Be Polite
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"
中文翻译：
一天，比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭。当服务员端上两份牛排时，比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块。
汤姆对此很不开心：“你什么时候能学会礼貌？”
比尔说：“如果让你先拿，你会拿哪个？”
汤姆说：“当然是小的那个。”
比尔：“那你还抱怨什么？小的那个不就是你想要的，不是吗？”
6、亲爱的，没什么新鲜事
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".
中文翻译：
一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：“工作上有什么新鲜事吗？”丈夫回答说：“没有，我是教历史的。”
7、爸爸不会喜欢的For Father
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
中文翻译：
一牧师走在乡村的小路上，看见一个年轻的农夫正在费力地将掉落的干草放回车上。
“你看起来很热，我的孩子，”牧师说，“为什么你不歇一会，我会帮助你的。”
“不，谢谢了。”年轻人说。
“我的爸爸不会喜欢我这样做的。”
“别傻了。”牧师说。
“每一个人都有权利休息。来喝点水吧。”
年轻人再一次坚持他爸爸会生气地。牧师没了耐心，说：“你爸爸一定是个苛刻的监工。告诉我我怎样才能找到他，我要给他上一课。”
“好吧。”年轻人回答说。“他在干草的下面。”
8、To Give Up the Seat Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." "Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy "But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap." 译文：让座小约翰告诉妈妈：“早上我和爸爸坐公车时，他让我给一位女士让座。” “好，你做得对。”妈妈说。 “但是，妈妈，我那时正坐在爸爸的大腿上。”
9、The Lost Purse A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward." 丢失的钱包 一位女士圣诞节大购物，在匆忙中丢失了钱包。有一个诚实的小男孩找到了钱包并还给她。 女士看着钱包，说：“嗯，真有趣。我丢失钱包的时候，里面有一张20元的钞票，但现在变成了20张1元的零钞。” 小孩马上回答道：“没错，小姐。上次我找到了一位女士的钱包，但是她没有零钱作酬金。”
10、I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？” “我是司机。”他回答说。
11、I Could Do It Slower Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth? Dentist: Fifty dollars. Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work? Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like. 我可以干得慢一些病人：拔一颗牙收费多少？牙医：50美元。病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元？牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。
12、When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you." 译文：老虎来了 两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
1
游泳队教练的回答
一支游泳队参加国际比赛归来，在机场上，教练在接受记者采访时说：“是的，虽然我们队一块奖牌也没得到，但也应该看到，在比赛中，我们队没有一个人被淹死。”
Swimming coach of the answer
A team to participate in international competitions returned at the airport, the coach in an interview with reporters, said: "Yes, although our team did not get a medal, but it should be noted that in the game, we did not force a person to be Drown. "
2
别问成绩
小亨利的姑姑来到他家做客，见到亨利，对他说：“亨利，我想送一件礼物给你，让你高兴高兴！”“太谢谢了！姑姑。”亨利回答。“不过，给你礼物之前，我要问问你的成绩如何。”“得了吧！”亨利说，“如果你是真心让我高兴，就别问我的成绩。”
Do not ask results
Small Henry's aunt came to his house, to see Henry, told him: "Henry, I would like to send a gift to you, glad you happy!" "Thank you, the too! Aunt." Henry answered. "However, a gift to you, I want to ask you how the results." "Won!" Henry said, "If you are really pleased me, Do not ask me the results."
谁跳得高
记者问跳高冠军：“你知道谁跳的最高？”“我老婆！”跳高冠军回答。记者又问:“为什么？”跳高冠军回答：“我拿了奖金不给她时，她跳得比我还高！”
Who Tiaode Gao
High jump champion reporter asked: "Do you know who's the highest jump?" "My wife!" Answered the high jump champion. Reporters asked: "Why?" High jump champion replied: "I do not get the money to her, she jump higher than me!"
3
如此称谓
有一个小女孩迷了路，就去找警察叔叔。警察叔叔问明情况后，问小女孩：“你爸爸叫什么名字？”小女孩回答说：“叫亲爱的。”警察听后，有很无奈的问：“那你妈妈叫什么名字？”小女孩又回答说：“叫宝贝。”
This title
A little girl lost on the police to look for his uncle. Police asked uncle out of the situation, the little girl asked: "What's the name of your father?" The little girl replied: "Dear name." Hearing this, the police, there is something we can not help asking: "What's the name of your mother?" The little girl answered himself: "Let the baby."
我给你找了三个，上面是英文，下面是英文。祝你成功！
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
绛旓細涓嬮潰鏄垜鏁寸悊鐨勭粡鍏鑻辫鍐绗戣瘽12绡,浠ヤ緵澶у瀛︿範鍙傝冦 缁忓吀鑻辫鍐风瑧璇:灏忓績鏈夌嫍! As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign ...鎬荤粺琚楃瑧浜,浜庢槸鎸囩ず绉樹功瀵勭粰灏忕敺瀛5缇庡厓,鍥犱负浠栬寰5缇庡厓瀵逛簬涓涓皬瀛╂潵璁插凡缁忔槸涓嶅皯浜嗐傚皬鐢峰鏀跺埌浜嗛挶寰堥珮鍏,缁欎笂甯濆洖浜嗕竴灏 鎰熻阿淇 ,淇￠噷鍐欓亾:...
绛旓細鎴戣繖鏈夊嚑涓鑻辫灏忕瑧璇锛 鏍″洯骞介粯鍥涘垯 1.Two Birds Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow ...
绛旓細4銆佸皬涔岄緹鍘婚缁撳璇併傚姙浜嬪憳闂箤榫熷勾榫勶紝涔岄緹璇达細100銆傚姙浜嬪憳閬楁喚鍦拌锛氬涓嶈捣锛屾寜鐓т綘浠鏃忚瀹氾紝浣犺繕鏈垚骞达紝涓嶅噯缁撳銆俆he little turtle to get a marriage license. The clerk asked the tortoise age, the tortoise said: 100. The clerk sorry to say: I'm sorry, according to your ...
绛旓細1.Who's More Polite?A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, ...
绛旓細1. A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!涓涓皬鐢峰闂粬鐨勭埜鐖革紝缁撳瑕佽姳澶氬皯閽憋紵鐖哥埜璇达細鎴戜笉鐭ラ亾锛屽洜涓烘垜浠嶇劧鍦ㄤ粯甯.2. A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the ...
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绛旓細杩欐椂鍊欓┈鍏堢敓璺繃锛岀湅瑙佽繖涓鍒囷紝灏遍棶濂癸細鈥滀负浠涔堜綘鎶婇奔鏀句簡锛熲 鈥滃洜涓烘垜鐨勯攨澶皬銆傛垜娌″姙娉曠儳杩欎箞澶х殑楸笺傗濈尗灏忓鍥炵瓟璇淬傘愮瘒2銆慣hree handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in...
绛旓細鍏充簬鑻辫鐨勫皬鐭绗戣瘽 浜虹被鍘嗗彶涓婏紝浜鸿嚜浠庢湁浜嗚瑷锛屽氨宸茬粡鍑虹幇浜嗗紑鐜╃瑧鐨勮瑷锛屾垜鏀堕泦浜嗗叧浜庤嫳璇殑灏忕煭绗戣瘽锛屾杩庨槄璇汇傚叧浜庤嫳璇殑灏忕煭绗戣瘽銆愪竴銆 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to ...
绛旓細寰堢煭鐨鑻辫灏忕瑧璇灏辨槸鐢ㄨ嫳璇〃杈惧嚭鏉ヤ竴鍙ユ湁鎰忔濈殑灏忕瑧璇濄備緥鍙ワ細1銆佸尰鐢熼棶鐥呬汉鏄庝箞楠ㄦ姌鐨勩傜梾浜鸿锛屾垜瑙夊緱闉嬮噷鏈夋矙瀛愶紝灏辨壎鐫鐢电嚎鏉嗘姈闉嬨倀md鏈変釜娣疯泲缁忚繃閭ｉ噷锛屼互涓烘垜瑙︾數浜嗭紝渚挎妱璧锋湪妫嶇粰浜嗘垜涓ゆ瀛愩俆he doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt there ...
绛旓細鑻辫绗戣瘽锛堜竴锛塓: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.鐚村瓙浼氬拰璺宠殼鏈変粈涔堜笉鍚屽憿锛熶綘鍙兘浼氱洿鎺ョ殑鎯冲埌瀹冧滑淇╂槸涓澶т竴灏忋備絾闄ゆ涔嬪鍛紝閭ｅ氨鏄尨瀛愯韩涓婂彲浠ラ暱璺宠殼锛岃岃烦铓よ韩涓婂嵈涓嶈兘鏈夌尨瀛愩傝繖涓瓟妗堝緢鏈夋剰鎬濆惂锛
