英语搞笑短剧，5—6人，20分钟左右。急！好了多加分 急急急..........跪求搞笑的英语短剧，六个人，包括旁...
\u82f1\u8bed\u641e\u7b11\u77ed\u5267\uff0c 4\u4eba\uff0c10\u5206\u949f\u5de6\u53f3\u3002\u6025\uff01\u597d\u4e86\u591a\u52a0\u5206Introduction\uff09\uff1a Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, \u201cYingzheng\u201d. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff08\u4e0a\uff0c\u638f\u51fa\u955c\u5b50\u68b3\u5934\uff0c\u505a\u81ea\u604b\u72b6\uff09\uff1a
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (\u753b\u5916\u97f3\uff1aIt\u2019s you, Prince Dan! \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u9ad8\u5174\u72b6) Thank u mirror! \uff08\u9762\u5bf9\u89c2\u4f17\uff09
I\u2019m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (\u5411\u5e55\u91cc\u5927\u53eb) Where is my minister?
\u963f\u4e09(\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c) : Honey, I am coming.
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI\u2019ve told you again and again that you should call me \u201cmy most beautiful\u3001graceful \u3001handsome\u3001charming\u3001cute\u3001smart and dearest Prince Dan\u201d!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aSure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
\uff08\u4f5c\u6740\u72b6\uff09\u592a\u5b50\uff1aOh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!\uff08\u4e8c\u5341\u4e00\u4e16\u7eaa\u6700\u9700\u8981\u7684\u662f\u4ec0\u4e48\uff0c\u4eba\u624d\uff01\u8fd9\u53e5\u8bdd\u8981\u8ddf\u89c2\u4f17\u4ea4\u6d41\uff0c\u6700\u597d\u7531\u89c2\u4f17\u6765\u56de\u7b54\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u62cd\u963f\u4e09\u80a9\u8180\uff0c\u505a\u8d5e\u8bb8\u72b6\uff09 Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aAfter screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
\u592a\u5b50\uff1aWell, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aYes.Action II\uff08\u300a\u5341\u9762\u57cb\u4f0f\u300b\u4e2d\u5218\u5fb7\u534e&\u91d1\u6210\u6b66\u51b3\u6597\u65f6\u7684\u97f3\u4e50\uff09\u8346\u8f72Are you Li mochou?\u674e\u83ab\u6101Yes.\u8346\u8f72OK. I\u2019m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers\u2019 world.\u674e\u83ab\u6101Are you challenging me?
\u8346\u8f72Off course! \u8038\u8038\u80a9\u8868\u793a\u540c\u610f\u674e\u83ab\u6101Come on!\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77\u4e24\u4eba\u51b2\u4e0a\u524d\u6765\u201c\u4eba\u5728\u6c5f\u6e56\u6f02\u554a\uff0c\u54ea\u6709\u4e0d\u6328\u5200\u554a\uff0c\u4e00\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\uff0c\u4e24\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u201d\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u5012\u5730\u8346\u8f72\u5927\u7b11\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u75db\u82e6\u72b6\uff1aWhat happened? Why aren\u2019t you hurt?\u8346\u8f72: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? \uff08\u8d62\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u9700\u8981\u7406\u7531\u4e48\uff0c\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff0c\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff1f\uff09\u674e\u83ab\u6101\uff1aMomma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
\u8346\u8f72\u518d\u6b21\u5927\u7b11\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0a\uff08\u62b1\u62f3\uff09\uff1aHow are you?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and you?\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to \u201cHow are you\u201d?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aSure!\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aHow are you?
\uff08\u9119\u4eba\u627e\u4e0d\u5230\u540e\u534a\u90e8\u5206\uff0c\u7279\u6765\u6c42\u6551\uff09 \u63d0\u95ee\u8005\uff1a \u51b0\u9b44\u306e\u5f71\u9b42 - \u521d\u7ea7\u9b54\u6cd5\u5e08 \u4e09\u7ea7 \u7b54\u590d \u5171 3 \u6761 \u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and your wife? \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6655\u5012\u8346\u67ef\uff1aHey, man, I\u2019m kidding! \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh, I\u2019m kidding too!\uff08\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c\uff09May I have your name card, please? \u8346\u8f72\u4ece\u515c\u91cc\u638f\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\uff0c\u4e0a\u9762\u5199\u7740\uff1a To be or not to be, that's a question. \u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero\uff0cwe need your help. \u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am busy now! \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aYou can get a lot of money. \u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very busy now! \u963f\u4e09\uff1aIC, ID, IQ card? \u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very very busy now! \u963f\u4e09(\u624b\u6307\u4e0a\u573a\u7684\u7f8e\u5973\uff0c\u6fc0\u52a8\u72b6): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. \u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6d41\u53e3\u6c34\uff09\uff1aI have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! \u963f\u4e09\uff1aWhat? What\u2019s the TCM? \u8346\u67ef; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn\u2019t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. \u963f\u4e09\uff1aExcuse me? What\u2019s the TCM? \u89c2\u4f17\u7532\uff1aTCM - Traditional Chinese MM . \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. \u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6fc0\u52a8\uff09\uff1aSlimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn\u2019t reduce my weight. \u963f\u4e09\uff1aYou want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I\u2019m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?\u4f60\u4e0d\u662f\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5427\uff1f\u96be\u9053\u4f60\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5417\u2026\u2026 \uff08\u300aNo matter\u300b\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u5148\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\u8df3\u63a2\u6208\uff0c\u62e5\u5165\u6000\u4e2d\uff0c\u53c8\u7529\u51fa\u53bb\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u505a\u5455\u5410\u72b6\u3002\u7136\u540e\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u8df3\u4f26\u5df4\uff0c\u6700\u540e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6446\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u6027\u5316\u7684\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5411\u540e\u5f2f\u8170\u5e76\u62ac\u5176\u4e2d\u4e00\u6761\u817f\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u505a\u8c03\u620f\u72b6\u3002\uff09\u8346\u67ef(\u8bda\u6073\u72b6) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\uff08\u649e\u80ef\uff0c\u51fb\u638c\uff09Yeah! Action \u0428 \uff08\u300a\u5927\u8bdd\u897f\u6e38\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u54cd\u8d77\uff09\u8346\u73c2\u633d\u7740\u59bb\u5b50\uff0c\u592a\u5b50\u4e39,\u963f\u4e09\u5728\u540e. \u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero, we have already reached Yishui River. \u8346\u73c2\uff1aJust stop here, please. Farewell, my friends \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI will miss you, baby. \uff08\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u4e0b\u3002\u505c\u987f\u3002\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u59bb\u5b50\u505aJack\u548crose\u5728\u8239\u5934\u7684\u7ecf\u5178\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8346\u8f72\u770b\u5230\u4e00\u4e2a\u7f8e\u5973\u2014\u2014\u6b64\u65f6\u4e00\u4e2a\u4e2d\u56fd\u53e4\u5178\u7f8e\u5973\u7ecf\u8fc7\uff0c\u5411\u8346\u8f72\u629b\u5a9a\u773c\uff0c\u5e76\u629b\u4e0b\u5b9a\u60c5\u624b\u7ee2\u3002\u8346\u8f72\u9ad8\u5174\u7684\u76ef\u7740\u7f8e\u5973\u770b\uff0c\u59bb\u5b50\u53d1\u89c9\u4e0d\u5bf9\uff0c\u626d\u8fc7\u5934\u6765\u3002\uff09\u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6025\u5fd9\u6536\u655b\uff09\uff1aDarling, I love you. \u59bb\u5b50\uff1aI love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!\uff08\u300a\u8096\u7533\u514b\u7684\u6551\u8d4e\u300b\uff09\u8346\u73c2(\u6d41\u6cea) \uff1aI love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (\u54ea\u6015\u662f\u4e16\u754c\u672b\u65e5\u6211\u90fd\u4f1a\u7231\u7740\u4f60\uff0c\u9009\u81ea\u300a\u98d8\u300b) \u59bb\u5b50\uff1aWell. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. \u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6b32\u8d70\u8fd8\u7559\uff0c\u6267\u5b50\u4e4b\u624b\u53c8\u66f0\uff09\uff1aSweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise\uff08\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u6c89\u8239\u65f6\uff0cJack\u5bf9Rose\u7684\u503e\u8bc9\uff09. \u59bb\u5b50:"I promise." \u8346\u8f72:"Never let go. \u201c \u59bb\u5b50:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." \uff08\u8346\u8f72\u7684\u53d1\u97f3\u548cjack\u5f88\u50cf\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u52a0\u4e86\u4e00\u4e9b\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u7684\u53f0\u8bcd\u3002\uff09\u59bb\u5b50\u52aa\u529b\u6324\u51fa\u51e0\u6ef4\u773c\u6cea\uff0c\u8346\u73c2\u4e0a\u8239\uff0c\u6e10\u6e10\u8fdc\u53bb\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aIt\u2019s a good day to die. Never come back. Never\u2026\u2026 Never\u2026\u2026 \u59bb\u5b50(\u638f\u51fa\u624b\u673a\u62e8\u53f7\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u63a5\u624b\u673a)\uff1a Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. \u963f\u4e09\uff1aOkay okay! \u65c1\u767d\uff1aThen Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
\u53c2\u8003\u8d44\u6599\u7f51\u7ad9\u6709\u66f4\u591a\u9009\u62e9\u3002
\u516d\u4e2a\u4eba\u4e00\u5b9a\u5c31\u662f\u516d\u4eba\u884c\u201cfriends\u201d\u4e86\u554a\uff01http://jisburiedalive.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!5A850C38E6D6040F!224.entry \u6211\u7ed9\u4f60\u4e2a\u5730\u5740\uff0c\u81ea\u5df1\u53bb\u770b\u5427
\u300a\u516d\u4eba\u884c\u300b\uff0c\u539f\u6587\u540d\u300aFriends\u300b\uff0c\u4e5f\u8bd1\u79f0\u4e3a\u300a\u8001\u53cb\u8bb0\u300b(\u4e0b\u6587\u79f0"\u300aFriends\u300b)\uff0c\u662f\u7f8e\u56fdNBC\u7535\u89c6\u53f0\u4ece1994\u5e74\u5f00\u64ad\u3001\u8fde\u7eed\u64ad\u51fa\u4e8610\u5e74\u7684\u4e00\u90e8\u5e7d\u9ed8\u60c5\u666f\u559c\u5267\u3002\u5168\u5267\u5171238\u96c6\uff0c\u6bcf\u96c6\u5927\u7ea620\u5206\u949f\u5de6\u53f3\u3002\u66fe\u57281996\u5e74\u521b\u4e0b5,300\u4e07\u7684\u6536\u89c6\u8bb0\u5f55\u3002\u6545\u4e8b\u4e3b\u8981\u63cf\u8ff0\u4e86\u4f4f\u5728\u7ebd\u7ea6\u7684\u516d\u4e2a\u597d\u670b\u53cb\u4ece\u76f8\u8bc6\u5230\u540e\u6765\u4e00\u8d77\u7ecf\u5386\u4e8610\u5e74\u7684\u751f\u6d3b\u4e2d\u53d1\u751f\u7684\u4e00\u7cfb\u5217\u7684\u6545\u4e8b\uff0c\u670b\u53cb\u95f4\u7684\u751f\u6d3b\u3001\u53cb\u8c0a\u3001\u9ebb\u70e6\u3001\u6b22\u7b11\u3001\u77db\u76fe\u3001\u7231\u60c5\u3001\u5de5\u4f5c\u7b49\u8868\u73b0\u5f97\u6dcb\u6f13\u5c3d\u81f4\uff01Friends\u300b\u4e4b\u6240\u4ee5\u6210\u4e86\u5e74\u8f7b\u4eba\u7684\u5ba0\u7231\uff0c\u6700\u5173\u952e\u5728\u4e8e\u516d\u4f4d\u4e3b\u4eba\u516c\u59cb\u7ec8\u4fdd\u6301\u7684\u4e50\u89c2\u5411\u4e0a\u7684\u4eba\u751f\u6001\u5ea6\u3002
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三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?
S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.
N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
T: Let's go guys!( 歌)
S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.
E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.
J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.
T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.
T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.
T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......
(谢幕)
多看下美剧的情景喜剧 比如好汉两个半 宋飞正传（推荐后者）
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