六人演英语搞笑话剧。 六人搞笑英语短剧
\u516d\u4eba\u6f14\u82f1\u8bed\u641e\u7b11\u8bdd\u5267\u65c1\u767d\uff1a\u8bdd\u8bf4\u6881\u5c71\u4f2f\u548c\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u4e09\u5e74\u524d\u4e00\u540c\u6765\u5230\u521a\u521a\u6210\u7acb\u7684\u6b66\u6c49\u65b0\u4e1c\u65b9\u4e66\u9662\u5b66\u4e60\u82f1\u8bed\u3002\u6881\u5c71\u4f2f\u9177\u7231\u53e3\u8bed\u5e08\u4ece\u53e3\u8bed\u8001\u5e08\u9093\u5927\u4ed8\u5b66\u4e60\u7f8e\u56fd\u53e3\u8bed\uff0c\u5c24\u5176\u64c5\u957f\u6a21\u4eff\u9a6c\u4e01•\u8def\u5fb7•\u91d1\u7684\u6f14\u8bb2\u3002\uff08\u65c1\u767d\u6682\u505c\uff0c\u9093\u82f1\u6587\u201cI have a dream \u201d\uff09\u3002\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u4e00\u5fc3\u68a6\u60f3\u51fa\u56fd\uff0c\u68a6\u60f3\u6709\u671d\u4e00\u65e5\u6210\u4e3aBBC\u4e3b\u6301\u4eba\uff08\u65c1\u767d\u6682\u505c\uff0c\u795d\u82f1\u6587\u201cthis is BBC\u2026.\uff09\u6700\u7ec8\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u4ee5\u6258\u798f\u548cGRE\u9ad8\u5206\u7684\u6210\u7ee9\u88ab\u54e5\u4f26\u6bd4\u4e9a\u5927\u5b66\u5f55\u53d6\u3002\u5728\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u4e34\u8d70\u7684\u90a3\u4e00\u5929\uff0c\u6881\u5c71\u4f2f\u5341\u516b\u91cc\u76f8\u9001\u5728\u5929\u6cb3\u673a\u573a\u4e0e\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u7f20\u7ef5\u544a\u522b\u3002
L: Yingtai \uff0cI love you so much and I\u2019ll miss you so much.\uff01
Z: I love you, too! Don\u2019t worry. Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I\u2019ll marry you as soon as I\u2019m back. Wait for me just for two years.
L: I\u2019ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
Z: I\u2019ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo
\u65c1\u767d\uff1a\u4e00\u5468\u4ee5\u540e\uff0c\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u4ece\u7f8e\u56fd\u6253\u6765\u8d8a\u6d0b\u7535\u8bdd\u3002
L:Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I\u2019m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you\u2019d better find a better girl.
L: What? Pardon?
Z: Because I\u2019ll get married.
L: Married ? to who?
Z: To \u82f1\u4fca\u6f47\u6d12\u98ce\u6d41\u501c\u50a5\u7389\u6811\u4e34\u98ce\u7684Ma Wencai.. He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at \u8475\u82b1\u5b9d\u5178\u3002I love his money and I love his body.
L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I\u2019ll give you some color to see see. I\u2019ll kill you! I will kill you in America!
Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha
\u65c1\u767d\uff1a\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u7684\u65e0\u7aef\u80cc\u53db\u6df1\u6df1\u4f24\u5bb3\u4e86\u6881\u5c71\u4f2f\u8106\u5f31\u7684\u5fc3\u7075\uff0c\u4ed6\u53d1\u4e0b\u6bd2\u8a93\uff1a\u4e0d\u6740\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u8a93\u4e0d\u4e3a\u4eba\u3002\u4e8e\u662f\u91cd\u65b0\u6765\u5230\u65b0\u4e1c\u65b9\u4e66\u9662\u5b66\u4e60\u6258\u798f\u548cGRE\u3002\u5f53\u7136\u4ed6\u6ca1\u6709\u5fd8\u8bb0\u7528\u8001\u751f\u8bc1\u53ef\u4ee5\u4f18\u60e020\u5757\u94b1\u3002\u4e3a\u4e86\u80fd\u98de\u8d8a\u91cd\u6d0b\u53bb\u6740\u6389\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\uff0c\u4ed6\u6bcf\u5929\u63d0\u9192\u81ea\u5df1\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u68a6\u60f3\u3002
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.
\u65c1\u767d\uff1a\u4e00\u5e74\u4e4b\u540e\uff0c\u6881\u5c71\u4f2f\u4e5f\u6765\u5230\u4e86\u7f8e\u56fd\uff0c\u56db\u5904\u5bfb\u627e\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\u7684\u4e0b\u843d\u3002\u7ec8\u4e8e\u5728\u7ebd\u7ea6\u8857\u5934\u627e\u5230\u4ed6\u5f53\u5e74\u7684\u7231\u4eba\u795d\u82f1\u53f0\uff0c\u800c\u5979\u6b63\u548c\u9a6c\u6587\u624d\u537f\u537f\u6211\u6211\u3002
L:Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I\u2019m Liang Shanbo. I\u2019m here to kill you.
Z: Liang\u2026.shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.
M: You! Get out of here.
L: You! Get out of here!
M: \u7535\u8bdd\u6765\u4e86\u3002Hello, I\u2019m in wuhan. Ok ok I\u2019ll come right now
Z: Please don\u2019t go. Just stay, please. He\u2019ll kill me.
M: I know! But if I stay, he\u2019ll kill me by the way..
Z: You told me you were good at \u8475\u82b1\u5b9d\u5178?
M: Sorry, I\u2019m not good at \u8475\u82b1\u5b9d\u5178. I\u2019m just good at \u65b0\u534e\u5b57\u5178\u3002
Z: Oh,you liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh,darling, you must kill me?
L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
Z: (sing)When we were young, we listened to the MP\u4e09, you said you\u2019d love me forever. Don\u2019t kill me,ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni..
L: No door! (sing) Where you go, whatever you say, I\u2019ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can\u2019t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
Z: \u66fe\u7ecfOnce upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn\u2019t cherish it.If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.(sing)
L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!
Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.
L: hehehe Really?
Z: Oh, of course. Please don\u2019t kill me!!!!
L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don\u2019t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill?
(to kill)
L: You hear this. I \u2018m sorry. But don\u2019t worry , I\u2019 ll go to heaven together with you.
Z: All right kill me, then we\u2019ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden(sing)
(sing)
Z: \u4eb2\u7231\u7684\u4f60\u522b\u6740\u6211
\u6740\u4e86\u6211\u4f60\u4e5f\u6ca1\u6709\u597d\u7ed3\u679c
L\uff1a \u4eb2\u7231\u7684\u6211\u4e5f\u4e0d\u60f3\u6740
\u53ef\u662f\u5927\u5bb6\u975e\u5f97\u8981\u6211\u6740
\u7126\u4ef2\u537fJohnny(Jforshort)\u5218\u5170\u829dLunch(Lforshort)
\u7126\u6bcdJohnny\u2019smother(JMforshort)\u5218\u6bcdLunch\u2019smother(LMforshort)
\u592a\u5b88\u4e4b\u5b50Mayor\u2019sson(MSforshort)\u5f3a\u76d7Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J\u4f5c\u88ab\u6253\u72b6\u8dd1\u4e0a\u53f0,\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,J\u88ab\u6253\u4e2d,\u72fc\u72c8\u4e0d\u582a)
J:EverybodysaysthatI\u2019mhenpecked,butinfact,I\u2019masstrongasatiger,(\u5c0f\u58f0)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(\u6307\u7740\u4e0a\u53f0\u5904\u7684\u95e8\u5927\u58f0\u9053)I\u2019mnotafraidofyou!
(\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u8138\u76c6,J\u63a5\u4f4f\u5f53\u6210\u76fe\u724c\u62a4\u7740\u5934)Then,I\u2019mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(\u5185\u53c8\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,\u51fb\u4e2dJ)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(\u4e0b)
Act1
(\u5e8f\u5e55\u7ed3\u675f\u65f6,JM\u4f5c\u7a83\u542c\u72b6)
JM(\u62c4\u62d0\u68cd\u4e0a):Ican!
(\u5bf9\u95e8\u5185)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(\u624e\u7740\u56f4\u88d9,\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2,\u4ece\u95e8\u5185\u8df3\u51fa\u6765):I\u2019mhere!What\u2019supmum?
JM:I\u2019vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme\u201cmymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law\u201d.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what\u2019sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy\u2026\u2026
L:But\u2026\u2026
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and\u2026\u2026
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(\u751f\u6c14\u5730\u6325\u52a8\u7740\u9505\u94f2):Oh,youwantagrandson,don\u2019tyou?(\u5f00\u59cb\u89e3\u56f4\u88d9)Goandaskyour
son.I\u2019mleaving!(\u626f\u4e0b\u56f4\u88d9,\u6254\u5728JM\u7684\u8138\u4e0a,\u4e0b)
Act2
(LM\u5750\u5728\u53f0\u4e0a\u6253\u6bdb\u7ebf,L\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2\u4e0a)
L:Mum,I\u2019mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother\u2013in-law.
LM(\u60ca\u8bb6,\u4f46\u968f\u5373\u9732\u51fa\u5e78\u707e\u4e50\u7978\u7684\u795e\u60c5):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself\u2026\u2026
L:But,mum\u2026\u2026
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I\u2019mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I\u2019llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(\u5927\u559c):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor\u2019ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:\u201cIfyoudaughter
Haven\u2019tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!\u201dNowyouarefreeagain,I\u2019llgo
andtellhim.(\u4e0b)
L(\u60ca\u6115):What?Themayor\u2019sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(\u624b\u4e2d\u7684\u9505
\u94f2\u6389\u5728\u5730\u4e0a)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(\u4e0b)
Act3
(J\u7761\u773c\u60fa\u5fea\u4e0a)
J(\u8fb9\u8d70\u8fb9\u9053):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(\u8d70\u4e86\u51e0\u6b65,\u5728\u5730\u4e0a\u6361\u8d77\u889c\u5b50)Heretheyare!(\u95fb\u4e00\u4e0b)\u3000Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(\u7a81\u7136\u60f3\u8d77)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(\u4ed6\u7684\u809a\u5b50\u4f3c\u4e4e\u5495\u5495\u53eb\u4e86\u8d77\u6765)Oh,I\u2019msohungry!Butthere\u2019snobreakfast!(\u6361\u8d77\u5730\u4e0a\u7684\u56f4\u3000\u3000
\u3000\u88d9)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(\u4e0a):Where\u2019smybreakfast?Where\u2019sLunch?Hasn\u2019tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can\u2019tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(\u6c89\u541f\u7247\u523b):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(\u7acb\u6b63\u656c\u793c):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J\u5f00\u5fc3\u5730\u8d70\u7740\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8df3\u51fa\u6765\u4e09\u4e2a\u5f3a\u76d7)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(\u62ac\u811a\u91cd\u91cd\u5730\u8e29\u5728\u4e00\u5757\u5927\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(\u4ea6\u62ac\u811a\u8e29\u5728\u540c\u4e00\u5757\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(\u6b32\u8e29\u77f3\u5934\uff0c\u4f46\u8e29\u5230\u4e86A\u7684\u811a)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(\u641c\u904d\u4e86\u6bcf\u4e00\u4e2a\u53e3\u888b\uff0c\u638f\u51fa1\u89d2\u786c\u5e01):Is1maoenough?
(\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u6655\u5012\u72b6\uff0c\u63a5\u7740\u4e09\u4eba\u805a\u5728\u4e00\u8fb9\u5546\u91cf)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor\u2019ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(\u60ca\u8bb6):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It\u2019simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven\u2019tgotdivorcedyet!
(\u7a81\u7136\u6709\u4e86\u4e3b\u610f)I\u2019vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don\u2019tyou?I\u2019llgo
\u3000withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI\u2019vegotthis!(J\u8131\u4e0b\u978b\u5b50\u4ece\u91cc\u9762\u6478\u51fa\u4e00\u5f20\u652f\u7968\uff0c\u4e0a\u4e66\uff041\uff0c000\uff0c000)
Act5
(\u8f6c\u773c\u5df2\u5230\u4e86\u5a5a\u793c\u4e4b\u671f\uff0eMS\u610f\u6c14\u98ce\u53d1\u7528\u7ea2\u7ef8\u7275\u7740\u65b0\u5a18\u4e0a\uff0cJ\u76d6\u7740\u7ea2\u76d6\u5934\u6781\u4e0d\u60c5\u613f\u5730\u88ab\u62c9\u4e0a\u53f0)
(J\u548c\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u8dc3\u81f3\u53f0\u4e2d)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L\u542c\u5230J\u7684\u58f0\u97f3\uff0c\u6380\u8d77\u4e86\u76d6\u5934)
L(\u60ca\u559c\u4e07\u5206):Johnny!(\u4e0d\u987e\u4e00\u5207\u5730\u98de\u5954\u5230J\u7684\u8eab\u8fb9\u5e76\u8eb2\u5230\u4e86\u7684\u8eab\u540e)
(MS\u5927\u6012\uff0c\u6325\u62f3\u5411J\u6253\u6765\uff0eJ\u77ee\u8eab\u4e00\u8eb2\uff0cMS\u6253\u4e2d\u4e86J\u8eab\u540e\u7684L\uff0cL\u6655\u5012)
J(\u706b\u5192\u4e09\u4e08):Howdareyoubeatmywife!\uff08\u6325\u62f3\u5411MS\u51b2\u53bb\uff09
(J\u4e0eMS\u6df7\u6218\uff0cJM\u4e0a\uff0c\u4ee5\u62d0\u6756\u51fb\u6655MS)
(J\u5c06MS\u80f8\u524d\u7684\u65b0\u90ce\u6807\u5fd7\u626f\u4e0b\u6234\u5728\u81ea\u5df1\u80f8\u524d)
J(\u6276\u8d77L\uff0c\u5173\u5207\u5730\u95ee):Honey,howareyou?
L(\u54ed\u72b6):Ihurtalot!
J:Don\u2019tcrybaby.I\u2019llgoandfetchthemedicine.\u3000(\u4e0b)
L(\u8d77\u8eab\u53bb\u8ffd):Waitforme!\u3000(\u8dd1\u4e0b)
(\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77\u3000CanYouCelebrate)
\u4e0b\u9762\u8fd9\u4e2a\u4e5f\u4e0d\u9519\uff0c\u662f\u5e7d\u9ed8\u8bdd\u5267
\u8346\u73c2\u523a\u79e6\u738b\u641e\u7b11\u82f1\u8bed\u8bdd\u5267\u5267\u672c
\u65c1\u767d(Aside )/\u4ecb\u7ecd\uff08Introduction\uff09\uff1a Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, \u201cYingzheng\u201d. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff08\u4e0a\uff0c\u638f\u51fa\u955c\u5b50\u68b3\u5934\uff0c\u505a\u81ea\u604b\u72b6\uff09\uff1aMirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (\u753b\u5916\u97f3\uff1aIt\u2019s you, Prince Dan! \u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u9ad8\u5174\u72b6) Thank u mirror! \uff08\u9762\u5bf9\u89c2\u4f17\uff09 I\u2019m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (\u5411\u5e55\u91cc\u5927\u53eb) Where is my minister?
\u963f\u4e09(\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c) : Honey, I am coming.
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI\u2019ve told you again and again that you should call me \u201cmy most beautiful\u3001graceful \u3001handsome\u3001charming\u3001cute\u3001smart and dearest Prince Dan\u201d!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aSure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~\uff08\u4f5c\u6740\u72b6\uff09
\u592a\u5b50\uff1aOh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!\uff08\u4e8c\u5341\u4e00\u4e16\u7eaa\u6700\u9700\u8981\u7684\u662f\u4ec0\u4e48\uff0c\u4eba\u624d\uff01\u8fd9\u53e5\u8bdd\u8981\u8ddf\u89c2\u4f17\u4ea4\u6d41\uff0c\u6700\u597d\u7531\u89c2\u4f17\u6765\u56de\u7b54\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u62cd\u963f\u4e09\u80a9\u8180\uff0c\u505a\u8d5e\u8bb8\u72b6\uff09 Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aAfter screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
\u592a\u5b50\uff1aWell, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aYes.
Action II
\uff08\u300a\u5341\u9762\u57cb\u4f0f\u300b\u4e2d\u5218\u5fb7\u534e&\u91d1\u6210\u6b66\u51b3\u6597\u65f6\u7684\u97f3\u4e50\uff09
\u8346\u8f72
Are you Li mochou?
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Yes.
\u8346\u8f72
OK. I\u2019m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers\u2019 world.
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Are you challenging me?
\u8346\u8f72
Off course! \u8038\u8038\u80a9\u8868\u793a\u540c\u610f
\u674e\u83ab\u6101
Come on!
\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77
\u4e24\u4eba\u51b2\u4e0a\u524d\u6765
\u201c\u4eba\u5728\u6c5f\u6e56\u6f02\u554a\uff0c\u54ea\u6709\u4e0d\u6328\u5200\u554a\uff0c\u4e00\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\uff0c\u4e24\u5200\u780d\u6b7b\u4f60\u554a\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u201d
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u5012\u5730
\u8346\u8f72\u5927\u7b11
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\u75db\u82e6\u72b6\uff1aWhat happened? Why aren\u2019t you hurt?
\u8346\u8f72: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? \uff08\u8d62\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u9700\u8981\u7406\u7531\u4e48\uff0c\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff0c\u9700\u8981\u4e48\uff1f\uff09
\u674e\u83ab\u6101\uff1aMomma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
\u8346\u8f72\u518d\u6b21\u5927\u7b11
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0a\uff08\u62b1\u62f3\uff09\uff1aHow are you?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and you?
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to \u201cHow are you\u201d?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aSure!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aHow are you?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aFine, thank you, and your wife?
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6655\u5012
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aHey, man, I\u2019m kidding!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aOh, I\u2019m kidding too!\uff08\u6bd5\u606d\u6bd5\u656c\uff09May I have your name card, please?
\u8346\u8f72\u4ece\u515c\u91cc\u638f\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\uff0c\u4e0a\u9762\u5199\u7740\uff1a
To be or not to be, that's a question.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero\uff0cwe need your help.
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am busy now!
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aYou can get a lot of money.
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very busy now!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aIC, ID, IQ card?
\u8346\u67ef\uff1aI am very very busy now!
\u963f\u4e09(\u624b\u6307\u4e0a\u573a\u7684\u7f8e\u5973\uff0c\u6fc0\u52a8\u72b6): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
\u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6d41\u53e3\u6c34\uff09\uff1aI have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aWhat? What\u2019s the TCM?
\u8346\u67ef; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn\u2019t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aExcuse me? What\u2019s the TCM?
\u89c2\u4f17\u7532\uff1aTCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
\u8346\u67ef\uff08\u6fc0\u52a8\uff09\uff1aSlimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn\u2019t reduce my weight.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aYou want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I\u2019m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?\u4f60\u4e0d\u662f\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5427\uff1f\u96be\u9053\u4f60\u771f\u7684\u60f3\u8981\u5417\u2026\u2026
\uff08\u300aNo matter\u300b\u97f3\u4e50\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u5148\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\u8df3\u63a2\u6208\uff0c\u62e5\u5165\u6000\u4e2d\uff0c\u53c8\u7529\u51fa\u53bb\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u505a\u5455\u5410\u72b6\u3002\u7136\u540e\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u8df3\u4f26\u5df4\uff0c\u6700\u540e\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u6446\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u6027\u5316\u7684\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5411\u540e\u5f2f\u8170\u5e76\u62ac\u5176\u4e2d\u4e00\u6761\u817f\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u505a\u8c03\u620f\u72b6\u3002\uff09
\u8346\u67ef(\u8bda\u6073\u72b6) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\u4e0e\u963f\u4e09\uff08\u649e\u80ef\uff0c\u51fb\u638c\uff09Yeah!
Action \u0428
\uff08\u300a\u5927\u8bdd\u897f\u6e38\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u54cd\u8d77\uff09
\u8346\u73c2\u633d\u7740\u59bb\u5b50\uff0c\u592a\u5b50\u4e39,\u963f\u4e09\u5728\u540e.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aHero, we have already reached Yishui River.
\u8346\u73c2\uff1aJust stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff1aI will miss you, baby.
\uff08\u592a\u5b50\u4e39\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u4e0b\u3002\u505c\u987f\u3002\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u4e3b\u9898\u66f2\u8d77\uff0c\u8346\u8f72\u4e0e\u59bb\u5b50\u505aJack\u548crose\u5728\u8239\u5934\u7684\u7ecf\u5178\u9020\u578b\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8346\u8f72\u770b\u5230\u4e00\u4e2a\u7f8e\u5973\u2014\u2014\u6b64\u65f6\u4e00\u4e2a\u4e2d\u56fd\u53e4\u5178\u7f8e\u5973\u7ecf\u8fc7\uff0c\u5411\u8346\u8f72\u629b\u5a9a\u773c\uff0c\u5e76\u629b\u4e0b\u5b9a\u60c5\u624b\u7ee2\u3002\u8346\u8f72\u9ad8\u5174\u7684\u76ef\u7740\u7f8e\u5973\u770b\uff0c\u59bb\u5b50\u53d1\u89c9\u4e0d\u5bf9\uff0c\u626d\u8fc7\u5934\u6765\u3002\uff09
\u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6025\u5fd9\u6536\u655b\uff09\uff1aDarling, I love you.
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aI love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!\uff08\u300a\u8096\u7533\u514b\u7684\u6551\u8d4e\u300b\uff09
\u8346\u73c2(\u6d41\u6cea) \uff1aI love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (\u54ea\u6015\u662f\u4e16\u754c\u672b\u65e5\u6211\u90fd\u4f1a\u7231\u7740\u4f60\uff0c\u9009\u81ea\u300a\u98d8\u300b)
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aWell. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
\u8346\u73c2\uff08\u6b32\u8d70\u8fd8\u7559\uff0c\u6267\u5b50\u4e4b\u624b\u53c8\u66f0\uff09\uff1aSweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise\uff08\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u6c89\u8239\u65f6\uff0cJack\u5bf9Rose\u7684\u503e\u8bc9\uff09.
\u59bb\u5b50:"I promise."
\u8346\u8f72:"Never let go. \u201c
\u59bb\u5b50:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
\uff08\u8346\u8f72\u7684\u53d1\u97f3\u548cjack\u5f88\u50cf\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u52a0\u4e86\u4e00\u4e9b\u300a\u6cf0\u5766\u5c3c\u514b\u53f7\u300b\u7684\u53f0\u8bcd\u3002\uff09
\u59bb\u5b50\u52aa\u529b\u6324\u51fa\u51e0\u6ef4\u773c\u6cea\uff0c
\u8346\u73c2\u4e0a\u8239\uff0c\u6e10\u6e10\u8fdc\u53bb
\u59bb\u5b50\uff1aIt\u2019s a good day to die. Never come back. Never\u2026\u2026 Never\u2026\u2026
\u59bb\u5b50(\u638f\u51fa\u624b\u673a\u62e8\u53f7\uff0c\u963f\u4e09\u63a5\u624b\u673a)\uff1a Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
\u963f\u4e09\uff1aOkay okay!
\u65c1\u767d\uff1aThen Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
Source: 2007-03-30 12:03:58 恒星英语学习网 Favorite Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money
白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本
旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.
白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)
皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!
魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?
皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?
魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.
皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.
http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/ 这个网站全是,,自己选,我可是长了半天,,兑现你的承诺,回报我吧:)
都是对的
绛旓細That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool".銆婅嚟鑴氱殑鏁呬簨銆鑻辫璇濆墽鍓ф湰A Story about Love and Stinky Feetby Dr. Sofia Chen闄堝崡濡 瓒呯骇鎼炵瑧,鍝堝搱鍝堜粠鍓,涓涓帆濠嗘湁涓鍙岃嚟鑴,浜轰滑閮藉緢璁ㄥ帉銆傛墍浠,濂规兂鎵句竴涓汉鎹㈡帀濂圭殑鍙岃剼銆 鏈変竴澶╁ス鏉ュ埌"棣欏浗" 銆傚ス鍙戠幇,浜轰汉閮芥湁鍙岄鑴氥備竴澶╃帇瀛愬崍...
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绛旓細銆婂瓟闆涓滃崡椋炪嬶紙鑻辨枃鎼炵瑧璇濆墽锛塖ource: 2007-03-30 12:03:58 鎭掓槦鑻辫瀛︿範缃 Favorite Wanderseveryfivemiles 鐒︿徊鍗縅ohnny(Jforshort)鍒樺叞鑺滾unch(Lforshort)鐒︽瘝Johnny鈥檚mother(JMforshort)鍒樻瘝Lunch鈥檚mother(LMforshort)澶畧涔嬪瓙Mayor鈥檚son(MSforshort)寮虹洍Burglars(ABandC)Prologue (J浣...
绛旓細6浜鸿嫳璇灏忓搧鐭璇濆墽鍓ф湰 A(琛ｈ～瑜磋锛 B锛堣。鐫鍏夐矞锛 C灏忚姳 D灏忚崏 E妞呭瓙 F鏂伴椈璁拌 B鍧愬湪E涓婂悆涓滆タ锛孉涓涔炰笎涓婂墠 A锛氬厛鐢燂紝鍏堢敓锛岃缁欐垜浜涢潰鍖咃紝璋㈣阿锛屾垜楗垮緱涓嶈浜嗐侭锛氾紙鍘屾伓锛夎寮锛岃寮銆傦紙鐒跺悗渚胯捣韬寮锛岃繖鏃朵粬鐨勯挶鍖呮帀鍒癊涓婂ご浜嗭級A锛氬厛鐢燂紝鍏堢敓锛圓鐪嬭鍚庯紝绔嬪嵆鎷捐捣锛...
绛旓細鎴戯細鏈嬪弸锛屼綘瀵瑰鍦颁汉涓嶈兘鎬绘槸鍙琛ｈ～涓嶈浜恒 I am: a friend, you can not always recognize only the clothes and outsiders do not recognize people. 鎴戝畬鍏ㄤ粯鐨勮捣杩欏琛ｆ湇鐨勯挶锛屾垜鍙槸涓嶆兂璁╀綘鍥犱负鎵句笉寮涓闀垮ぇ绁ㄥ瓙鑰屼负闅俱 I fully paid the money from this suit, I just do not ...
绛旓細Little Red Riding Hood锛(鍜6鍙腑瀛愰殢鐫闊充箰缈╃咯璧疯垶)Wolf锛氾紙鎮勬倓鍦拌棌鍒板ぇ鏍戝悗锛塋ittle Red Riding Hood锛氾紙鍋滄璺宠垶锛塇ello! Baby ducks锛宧ow are you?Six Ducks锛歐e鈥 re fine锛嶵hank you锛 Where are you going?Little Red Riding Hood锛歍o Grandma鈥檚锛嶰h, I must go, bye.Six Ducks锛...
绛旓細灏忕嫄鐙革細Men have forgotten this truth, But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..浜哄繕璁颁簡杩欐潯鐪熺悊銆備絾浣犱笉璇ュ繕銆備綘搴旇姘歌繙瀵逛綘椹吇鐨勫璞¤礋璐ｏ紝浣犺瀵逛綘鐨勭帿鐟拌礋璐ｃ傚皬鐜嬪瓙锛欼 am responsible for my ...
绛旓細銆夊嚭鍝併傛暣閮ㄦ垙鐢变笁鐢蜂笁濂冲叡鍏綅淇婄敺缇庡コ鎷呯翰婕斿嚭锛屼笉鏃惰鍒版槑鏄熶笌璁捐甯堢瓑鍚勭晫鍚嶆祦瀹覆鍙備笌锛屾挱鍑轰互鏉ヤ竴鐩翠负NBC鐢佃缃戠殑鎷涚墝鎴忎箣涓銆傛湰鍓х殑鍏綅鏄庢槦鍒嗗埆涓哄ぇ鍗.淇挋銆佺弽濡經.瀹夊Ξ鏂】銆侀┈淇.娲剧憺銆佸瘒鐗瑰Ξ.鍏嬫柉銆侀害鐗.闆峰竷鍏板厠鍜屼附鑾.搴撳崜銆傝繕鏈夌櫨鑰佹眹鐨勩奿 do锛乮 do锛併嬩篃鏄鍏汉婕鐨勪笉杩囨槸闊充箰鍓 ...
