求大神帮忙修改英语作文 求大神帮忙修改英语作文！！！急急急！！！
\u4e00\u7bc7\u82f1\u8bed\u4f5c\u6587\uff0c\u6c42\u5927\u795e\u5e2e\u5fd9\u4fee\u6539...So much homework
The weekend has come round again. At the same time,homework has come too!
In grade eight, we have so much homework. Chinese has a lot of composition and excerpt for us to do. Mathematics has some calculation we need to do. English has lots of StudyReport. History has a lot of homework too. Biology and Geography also has somehomework for us to do.
In the weekend, we can\u2019t spend too much time to play computer games and enjoy the lives. Finishing homework takes a long time, so that we don\u2019t have too much times.
The homework stared to be come our burden.
Music is a wonderful thing(thing\u2192alternative n.\u9009\u62e9\uff09 that makes me happy\uff08happy\u2192pleased\u60ec\u610f\uff09 and relaxed, when I am tired and nervous in my daily life\uff08\u7528\u4e0b\u5f62\u5f0f\u5bbe\u8bed\uff1awhen I feel it more tired and nervous to do everything that is assigned in my daily life) . That\u2019s why I enjoy music a lot and very(\u7528\u4e0b\u975e\u8c13\u8bed\u52a8\u8bcd\uff1abeing) concern about the developing(\u8bed\u6cd5\u9519\u8bef\uff1adevelopment n.) of music. Music is a part of culture (\u53ef\u7528\uff1aplays a vital role in culture) which develop\uff08\u5b9a\u8bed\u4ece\u53e5\u7528\u7684\u592a\u591a\u4e86\uff1aimproved\uff09 at a high rate of speed like other parts of culture in our society. Obviously, I think\uff08\u53ef\u91c7\u7528\u540c\u4f4d\u8bed\u4ece\u53e5\uff1aI hold a view) that music in my generation is very(very\u9891\u7387\u592a\u9ad8\uff1aquiet;greatly\u2026\u2026) different from music in my parents\u2019 generation because of following three reasons.
Above all(\u8fd9\u4e2a\u7528\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u7a81\u5140\u4e86\u5427\uff0c\u5e94\u8be5\u662f\u7ed3\u5c3e\u90e8\u4efd\u7684\uff0c\u53ef\u4ee5\u7528Firstly), I think the biggest difference between music in my generation and music(\u8fd9\u91cc\u53ef\u4ee5\u4f7f\u7528\u4ee3\u8bcdone) in my parents\u2019 generation(\u8fd9\u4e2a\u5355\u8bcd\u53ef\u4ee5\u7701\u7565\u7684\uff09 is that\uff08that\u4e0d\u8981\uff09 dancing, which means that in the past, the music is very monotonous\uff08\u8fd9\u4e2a\u7528\u7684\u4e0d\u9519\uff09. However, \uff08\u53ef\u4ee5\u52a0\u4e00\u53e5\uff1awith the development of the music industry and the cultivation of singer and dancer improved) ,there are many kinds of dancing contained in the music nowadays(\u65e2\u7136\u662f\u53d9\u8ff0\u7406\u7531\uff0c\u53ef\u4ee5\u4f7f\u7528\u5f3a\u8c03\u53e5\uff1ait is many sorts of dancing style that contains in the music tv nowadays), which make(\u8fd9\u91cc\u4ecd\u65e7\u91c7\u53d6\u975e\u8c13\u8bed\u52a8\u8bcd\u4e3a\u4f73\uff1amaking,\u5220\u53bbwhich) the music much more abundant. There is an example that presents the difference about dancing. I still remember that I watched a TV program like some music shows with my parents last year, and I was enjoying the music with dancing of singers. \uff08\u8fd9\u53e5\u6539\u6210\uff1aA frogotful matter still born in my mind is that last year I watch a TV program like a music show with my parents that with a dancing of a singer absorbed me most.\u5982\u4f55\uff09
And then\uff08secondly), my parents told me that in the past, the music did not look like the music(\u4f7f\u7528\u4ee3\u8bcdone\uff09 in today because\uff08\u53ef\u7528in that\uff09 there is no dancing and any other things in the music, and they just listen to the music and feel it. They were very excited, when they watched the music with dancing. It provides passion, energy and power to the music, which makes the music very\uff08\u6362\u4e2a\u8bcd\uff09 abundant not just the music, which is very monotonous. Therefore, the one of the differences between the music in the past and the music nowadays is dancing, which makes the music more lively and interesting.
\u603b\u7ed3\uff1a
1\u3001VERY\u4f7f\u7528\u9891\u7387\u8fc7\u9ad8
2\u3001\u5b9a\u8bed\u4ece\u53e5\u4f7f\u7528\u9891\u7387\u8fc7\u9ad8
3\u3001\u8bba\u8bc1\u4e0d\u591f\u5145\u5206\u6709\u529b
1. 前三句可以重新组织一下（同时应该把公司成立的年份这一重要信息加进来），不然三个单句两个以it开头，显得太零乱。可以是
Founded in Paris in 19XX by Jeremy Emsellem, Golden Hook is one of the greatest clothing companies in the world.
2. 第四句看上去跟hat making没建立起联系，应该把它与clothing industry的关系说清楚，同时应介绍一下Jeremy是如何洞见挣钱机会的。
3. 两个choose所在的句子语义不清楚。通常时间状语从句after…里的谓语时态与主句谓语时态会有错落---从句“提前一个时态”，但题主的句子里两个谓语都用的一般现在时。猜测题主要么是主从句时态没注意，要么就是after用错了。如果是后者，可以修改为
When you choose…internet, you simutaniously choose the granny…it.
如果要表达“当你选择了…，你还得选择…”，则上述simutaniously应改成will have to choose或are supposed to choose.
4.. 倒数第二句里的and改成with会更好。
5. 最后一句里，says---＞shows, wear hats---＞wear the hats, are---＞become.
1.by前面的逗号最好省略
2.was start最好换成was founded
3 yo choose变为you can choose
4that 变为who，因为the granny是特指了只能用who
Golden Hook is a great clothing company. It makes the most beautiful hats in the world. It was founded in Paris, by Jeremy Emsellem. Clothes design in France is the most fashionable in the world. Jeremy employes 20 smart and kind grannies to knit hats. After choosing the hat you want on the Internet, you can also choose the granny who you want to knit it. Very soon, you receive the hat and a message from the granny. Data from 1989 says that people who wears hat is more attractive.
绛旓細We are all members of the big family of nature.Better-off, what a beautiful word! Today, there are so many changes in our lives. Lights, cars, computers and smart phones鈥︹hese inventions brought great convenience to our lives, and made our lives more and more comfortable. ...
绛旓細浜嬪疄涓婏紝浼氬奖鍝嶄汉闄呬氦寰鐨勬闈㈠拰璐熼潰鐨勩傚ソ浜嬫儏鏄簰鑱旂綉鎻愪緵浜嗘柟渚跨殑宸ュ叿锛屾柟渚夸簡浜轰滑鐨勪氦娴佹柟寮忋備緥濡傦紝鎴戜滑鍙互涓庢垜浠殑鏈嬪弸鍜屼翰鎴氫笂缃戣亰澶┿傜劧鑰岋紝涔熸湁涓浜涘叧浜庡畠鐨勭己鐐广傚鏋滀汉浠姳澶鐨勬椂闂村啓鍗氬锛屼粬浠彲鑳芥病鏈夋満浼氬拰绮剧鏈夐潰瀵归潰鐨勬矡閫氥傛讳箣锛屾垜璁や负鎴戜滑搴旇鍒╃敤浜掕仈缃戝浜洪檯浜ら檯銆傚笇鏈涘浣犳湁甯姪 ...
绛旓細鈶ny cellphone can install various app that read e-books銆傞昏緫娣蜂贡銆傞鍏坕nstall瀹夎鐨勪富璇槸cellphone锛屼絾鏄墜鏈烘槸涓嶄細鑷繁涓诲姩瀹夎app鐨勶紝浜烘墠鍙互銆俛pp瑕佸姞s锛屽洜涓轰綘璇翠簡鍚勫紡鍚勬牱鐨勶紝鑲畾涓嶆涓涓傚畾璇粠鍙ヤ篃鏄竴鏍风殑锛宎pp鏄笉浼氳涔︾殑銆傚缓璁敼鎴恮e can read e-books through various Apps in...
绛旓細3. 涓や釜choose鎵鍦ㄧ殑鍙ュ瓙璇箟涓嶆竻妤氥傞氬父鏃堕棿鐘惰浠庡彞after鈥﹂噷鐨勮皳璇椂鎬佷笌涓诲彞璋撹鏃舵佷細鏈夐敊钀---浠庡彞鈥滄彁鍓嶄竴涓椂鎬佲濓紝浣嗛涓荤殑鍙ュ瓙閲屼袱涓皳璇兘鐢ㄧ殑涓鑸幇鍦ㄦ椂銆傜寽娴嬮涓昏涔堟槸涓讳粠鍙ユ椂鎬佹病娉ㄦ剰锛岃涔堝氨鏄痑fter鐢ㄩ敊浜嗐傚鏋滄槸鍚庤咃紝鍙互淇敼涓 When you choose鈥nternet, you simutaniously ...
绛旓細The Plan with the Exchange Students The exchange students are going to visit our school. I would like to give them some suggestions. Firstly, I will introduce the history and culture of our school to them. They can help them know more about our school. Secondly, ...
绛旓細灏辫鍙ユ潵璁叉垜缁欎綘杩欐牱鏀瑰晩 Tracy is a good student who has beautiful appearance,and she always dress in fashion.In addition,she always has good spirits.It's important to everyone,so she has many friends.Tracy always smiles to everyone,it makes her look very cute,and she is an ...
绛旓細Club is a place where people get together for the discussion of various problems and for spending the leisure time. Club is the meeting place of the students for many activities. There are many clubs in educational institutions like literary club, science club, History club, and ...
绛旓細The living standard has improved gradually. How to enhance our sense of happiness? Different individual has different opinion. In our diverse society, some children think happiness is a box of sugar. However, for some old people, they always think happiness is when the wife or ...
绛旓細1銆丄s a jurnior middle school student (楂樹腑鐢熺殑璇濓紝鎶"jurnior"鎹㈡垚鈥渟enior鈥濆氨琛) who is also a member of Young Pioneer, I have a stronge faith that it is more meanful and valuable to keep concentrations on the studies and to exhaut all the energies for distinguished grades...
绛旓細鎴戞渶鍠滄鐨勪綋鑲茶繍鍔ㄦ槸绡悆銆傚湪鐢佃涓婄湅璧锋潵瓒呴叿锛屽洜鑰屼粠灏忔垜灏辩儹琛蜂簬閭ｄ簺绡悆鏄庢槦銆傜鐞冮渶瑕佺殑鏄熷害锛岃韩楂樺拰鎶宸с傛垜璺戯紝璺筹紝浼犵悆锛屽啀璇曠潃鎶曠锛佹垜韬綋鐨勬墍鏈夐儴鍒嗛兘鑳藉湪杩欎釜杩愬姩涓緱鍒伴敾鐐笺傛垜鎰熷埌鎴戝湪鐞冨満涓婂氨鍍忛椹扮數鎺ｄ竴鏍凤紝璁╂垜鎰熻瓒呮锛佺鐞冮渶瑕佸揩閫熷弽搴斿拰鍐虫柇銆傛満浼氭潵鐨勬椂鍊欙紝涔熸湁鍙兘浼氱◢绾靛嵆閫...
