搞笑的英语短剧 英语搞笑短剧？
\u82f1\u8bed\u641e\u7b11\u77ed\u5267\u5267\u672c\u6211\u4eec\u73ed\u521a\u6f14\u8fc7 \uff0c\u83b7\u5f97\u4e86\u7cfb\u91cc\u4e00\u7b49\u5956(\u5b54\u96c0\u4e1c\u5357\u98de \u82f1\u8bed\u641e\u7b11\u5267\u672c) \u867d\u7136\u4eba\u7269\u591a\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\uff0c\u53ef\u4ee5\u6709\u7fa4\u4f17\u6f14\u5458\u561b
\u7126\u4ef2\u537fjohnny(jforshort)
\u5218\u5170\u829dlunch(lforshort)
\u7126\u6bcdjohnny\u2019s mother(jmforshort)
\u5218\u6bcdlunch\u2019s mother(lmforshort)
\u592a\u5b88\u4e4b\u5b50mayor\u2019sson(msforshort)
\u5f3a\u76d7burglars(abandc)
prologue \u5e8f\u5e55
(j\u4f5c\u88ab\u6253\u72b6\u8dd1\u4e0a\u53f0,\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,j\u88ab\u6253\u4e2d,\u72fc\u72c8\u4e0d\u582a)
j:everybody says that i\u2019m hen pecked, but in fact,i\u2019m a strong tiger,(\u5c0f\u58f0)while my
wife is wusong.
\u8bd1\uff1a\u4eba\u4eba\u90fd\u8bf4\u6211\u6015\u8001\u5a46\uff0c\u5b9e\u9645\u4e0a\u6211\u662f\u8001\u864e\uff0c\uff08\u5c0f\u58f0\uff09\u6211\u59bb\u5b50\u662f\u6b66\u677e\u3002
(\u6307\u7740\u4e0a\u53f0\u5904\u7684\u95e8\u5927\u58f0\u9053)i\u2019m not afraid of you!
\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u624d\u4e0d\u6015\u4f60\u5462\uff01
(\u5185\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u8138\u76c6,j\u63a5\u4f4f\u5f53\u6210\u76fe\u724c\u62a4\u7740\u5934)then, i\u2019m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
\u8bd1\uff1a\u8c01\u6015\u8c01\u554a\uff01\u5728\u90bb\u91cc\u4e2d\uff0c\u6211\u59bb\u5b50\u662f\u6700\u6709\u540d\u6c14\u7684\u3002\u5979\u6bd4\u6211\u52c7\u6562\u3001\u6bd4\u6211\u806a\u660e\u3001\u6bd4\u6211\u5f3a\u58ee\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u4e0d\u5728\u4e4e\u8fd9\u4e9b\u3002\u6211\u53ea\u89c9\u5f97\u5979\u8be5\u5bf9\u6211\u6e29\u67d4\u4e9b\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u5979\u5374\u4e0d\u61c2\u6e29\u67d4\uff01\u6709\u8fd9\u6837\u7684\u592a\u592a\u5c31\u50cf\u6d3b\u5728\u5730\u72f1\u4e2d\u554a\uff01
(\u5185\u53c8\u7838\u51fa\u4e00\u5377\u7eb8\u7b52,\u51fb\u4e2dj)
my god! who can help me?(\u4e0b)
\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u7684\u5929\uff01\u8c01\u6765\u6551\u6551\u6211\u554a\uff1f
act1 \u7b2c\u4e00\u5e55
(\u5e8f\u5e55\u7ed3\u675f\u65f6,jm\u4f5c\u7a83\u542c\u72b6)
jm(\u62c4\u62d0\u68cd\u4e0a):i can!
(\u5bf9\u95e8\u5185)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(\u624e\u7740\u56f4\u88d9,\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2,\u4ece\u95e8\u5185\u8df3\u51fa\u6765):i\u2019m here! what\u2019s up \uff0cmum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me \u201cmy most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law\u201d.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what\u2019s up?
jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy\u2026\u2026
l:but\u2026\u2026
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
and\u2026\u2026
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(\u751f\u6c14\u5730\u6325\u52a8\u7740\u9505\u94f2):oh,you want a grandson,don\u2019t you?(\u5f00\u59cb\u89e3\u56f4\u88d9)go and ask your son. i\u2019m leaving!(\u626f\u4e0b\u56f4\u88d9,\u6254\u5728jm\u7684\u8138\u4e0a,\u4e0b)
act2
(lm\u5750\u5728\u53f0\u4e0a\u6253\u6bdb\u7ebf,l\u62ff\u7740\u9505\u94f2\u4e0a)
l:mum, i\u2019m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother\u2013in-law.
lm(\u60ca\u8bb6,\u4f46\u968f\u5373\u9732\u51fa\u5e78\u707e\u4e50\u7978\u7684\u795e\u60c5):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself\u2026\u2026
l:but,mum\u2026\u2026
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i\u2019m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i\u2019ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(\u5927\u559c):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor\u2019s son in the market.he said:\u201cif your daughter
haven\u2019t been married,i really really want to marry her!\u201dnow you are free again, i \u2019ll go
and tell him.(\u4e0b)
l(\u60ca\u6115):what? the mayor\u2019s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (\u624b\u4e2d\u7684\u9505
\u94f2\u6389\u5728\u5730\u4e0a)what a silly thing i have done!(\u4e0b)
act3
(j\u7761\u773c\u60fa\u5fea\u4e0a)
j(\u8fb9\u8d70\u8fb9\u9053):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(\u8d70\u4e86\u51e0\u6b65,\u5728\u5730\u4e0a\u6361\u8d77\u889c\u5b50)here they are!(\u95fb\u4e00\u4e0b) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(\u7a81\u7136\u60f3\u8d77)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(\u4ed6\u7684\u809a\u5b50\u4f3c\u4e4e\u5495\u5495\u53eb\u4e86\u8d77\u6765)oh,i\u2019m so hungry! but there\u2019s no breakfast!(\u6361\u8d77\u5730\u4e0a\u7684\u56f4
\u88d9)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(\u4e0a):where\u2019s my breakfast? where\u2019slunch?hasn\u2019t she got up yet?
j:mum, can\u2019t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(\u6c89\u541f\u7247\u523b):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(\u7acb\u6b63\u656c\u793c):yes madam!
act4
(j\u5f00\u5fc3\u5730\u8d70\u7740\uff0c\u5ffd\u7136\u8df3\u51fa\u6765\u4e09\u4e2a\u5f3a\u76d7)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(\u62ac\u811a\u91cd\u91cd\u5730\u8e29\u5728\u4e00\u5757\u5927\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
b:and i planted one tree!(\u4ea6\u62ac\u811a\u8e29\u5728\u540c\u4e00\u5757\u77f3\u5934\u4e0a)
c:if you want to go by this street---(\u6b32\u8e29\u77f3\u5934\uff0c\u4f46\u8e29\u5230\u4e86a\u7684\u811a)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(\u641c\u904d\u4e86\u6bcf\u4e00\u4e2a\u53e3\u888b\uff0c\u638f\u51fa1\u89d2\u786c\u5e01):is 1mao enough?
(\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u6655\u5012\u72b6\uff0c\u63a5\u7740\u4e09\u4eba\u805a\u5728\u4e00\u8fb9\u5546\u91cf)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor\u2019s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(\u60ca\u8bb6):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it\u2019s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven\u2019t got divorced yet!
(\u7a81\u7136\u6709\u4e86\u4e3b\u610f)i\u2019ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don\u2019tyou? i\u2019ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i\u2019ve got this!(j\u8131\u4e0b\u978b\u5b50\u4ece\u91cc\u9762\u6478\u51fa\u4e00\u5f20\u652f\u7968\uff0c\u4e0a\u4e66\uff041\uff0c000\uff0c000)
act5
(\u8f6c\u773c\u5df2\u5230\u4e86\u5a5a\u793c\u4e4b\u671f\uff0ems\u610f\u6c14\u98ce\u53d1\u7528\u7ea2\u7ef8\u7275\u7740\u65b0\u5a18\u4e0a\uff0cj\u76d6\u7740\u7ea2\u76d6\u5934\u6781\u4e0d\u60c5\u613f\u5730\u88ab\u62c9\u4e0a\u53f0)
(j\u548c\u4e09\u5f3a\u76d7\u8dc3\u81f3\u53f0\u4e2d)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l\u542c\u5230j\u7684\u58f0\u97f3\uff0c\u6380\u8d77\u4e86\u76d6\u5934)
l(\u60ca\u559c\u4e07\u5206):johnny!(\u4e0d\u987e\u4e00\u5207\u5730\u98de\u5954\u5230j\u7684\u8eab\u8fb9\u5e76\u8eb2\u5230\u4e86\u7684\u8eab\u540e)
(ms\u5927\u6012\uff0c\u6325\u62f3\u5411j\u6253\u6765\uff0ej\u77ee\u8eab\u4e00\u8eb2\uff0cms\u6253\u4e2d\u4e86j\u8eab\u540e\u7684l\uff0cl\u6655\u5012)
j(\u706b\u5192\u4e09\u4e08):how dare you beat my wife!\uff08\u6325\u62f3\u5411ms\u51b2\u53bb\uff09
(j\u4e0ems\u6df7\u6218\uff0cjm\u4e0a\uff0c\u4ee5\u62d0\u6756\u51fb\u6655ms)
(j\u5c06ms\u80f8\u524d\u7684\u65b0\u90ce\u6807\u5fd7\u626f\u4e0b\u6234\u5728\u81ea\u5df1\u80f8\u524d)
j(\u6276\u8d77l\uff0c\u5173\u5207\u5730\u95ee):honey, how are you?
l(\u54ed\u72b6):i hurt a lot!
j:don\u2019t cry baby.i\u2019ll go and fetch the medicine. (\u4e0b)
l(\u8d77\u8eab\u53bb\u8ffd):wait for me! (\u8dd1\u4e0b)
\u8fd9\u662f\u6211\u5199\u7684\u4e24\u4eba\u5c0f\u5267.\u662f\u53cd\u5e94\u57fa\u672c\u7684\u536b\u751f\u4e60\u60ef\u7684\u95ee\u9898.\u4e0d\u77e5\u4f60\u662f\u5426\u559c\u6b22?
\u4eba\u7269: Alex \u548c Bob
\u5730\u70b9:\u5b66\u751f\u5bbf\u820d
Flushing the Toilet\u51b2\u5395\u6240
A: Oh my god, what a stinky smell! Who didn't flush the toilet?
\u5929\u554a,\u8fd9\u4e48\u81ed\u6c14\u718f\u5929\u554a? \u8c01\u6ca1\u51b2\u5395\u6240\u5440?
B: (reading a book silently)(\u9759\u9759\u5730\u770b\u4e66)
A: Bob, is that you again?
Bob, \u53c8\u662f\u4f60\u5e72\u7684\u597d\u4e8b?
B: what? what about me?
\u4ec0\u4e48? \u6211\u53c8\u600e\u4e48\u4e86?
A: You didn't flush the toilet.
\u4f60\u7528\u4e86\u5395\u6240\u6ca1\u51b2!
B: I did.
\u6211\u51b2\u4e86.
A: No. you didn't. The stinky smell is unbearable.
\u4f60\u6ca1\u6709! \u8fd9\u81ed\u6c14\u718f\u5929,\u7b80\u76f4\u65e0\u6cd5\u5fcd\u53d7.
How could you sit here quietly and read your book as if nothing had happened?
\u4f60\u600e\u4e48\u8fd8\u53ef\u4ee5\u5728\u8fd9\u9759\u9759\u5730\u770b\u4e66,\u597d\u8c61\u5565\u4e8b\u90fd\u6ca1\u6709.?
B: I didn't smell anything.
\u6211\u6ca1\u89c9\u5f97\u81ed\u5440.
A: I am sure it's you. How could you not smell anything. Go flush the toilet now!
\u90a3\u4e00\u5b9a\u662f\u4f60\u5e72\u7684. \u600e\u4e48\u53ef\u80fd\u4ec0\u4e48\u90fd\u95fb\u4e0d\u5230? \u5feb\u53bb\u51b2\u5395\u6240!
B: I remember I did flush it. (He went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.)
\u6211\u8bb0\u5f97\u6211\u662f\u51b2\u4e86.(\u4ed6\u8d70\u8fdb\u5395\u6240,\u51b2\u6d17\u9a6c\u6876)
A: Don't you ever do that again. That's barbarian.
\u6211\u8b66\u544a\u4f60\u4ee5\u540e\u522b\u518d\u8fd9\u6837\u554a. \u90a3\u662f\u975e\u5e38\u4e0d\u6587\u660e\u7684\u884c\u4e3a.
B: well, I'll try to remember. ( Bob is eating some cookies now.)
\u55ef,\u6211\u5c3d\u91cf\u8bb0\u4f4f. ( Bob \u62ff\u8d77\u4e9b\u997c\u5e72\u5728\u5403)
A: Did you wash your hands after you flush the toilet?
\u4f60\u51b2\u5b8c\u5395\u6240\u6709\u6ca1\u6709\u6d17\u624b\u5440?
B: Do I have to?
\u8981\u6d17\u624b\u5417?
A: Oh my god! I think I need to change the room right now..
\u5929\u554a! \u6211\u8fd8\u662f\u6362\u95f4\u5bdd\u5ba4\u597d\u4e86.
The end \u5267\u7ec8
英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》
Wander severy five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is WuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地狱)! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Who can help me?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum?
JM:I‘ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And
I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven‘t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下)
L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下)
Act3本文转自：
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still
dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you?
L(哭状):I hurt a lot!
J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音乐起 Can You Celebrate)
2、英语短剧：小兔子乖乖
时间：阳光明媚的星期天早晨
地点：鸟语花香的动物王国
人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog
旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高兴极了。在小河边，他碰到了Miss Cat。
Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．Whatre you doing？
Cat：（急得抓耳挠腮）Hello，Little Duck．Theres a big fish in the river．Im hungry，but I cant get it．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck跳进水里，一会儿就帮Miss Cat抓到了鱼。）
Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．
Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．
Duck：Thats all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Bye-bye！
Cat：Bye-bye！
（Little Duck继续赶路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，连忙跑过去。）
Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I cant stand up and I cant walk．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck拿出一条手帕帮Miss Rabbit包扎好伤口，然后扶着她回家。）
Duck：Dontworry，Miss Rabbit．Youll getwellsoon．
Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．Its so kind of you．
Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Good-bye！
Rabbit：Good-bye！
（Little Duck唱着歌又开始上路了，走着走着，他看到Mr Dog坐在家门口，看上去非常着急。）
Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？
Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do．
Duck：Dont worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．
（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信递给Little Duck，Little Duck很仔细地将信的内容读给Mr Dog听。）
Dog：（满意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．Its really very kind of you．
Duck：Youre welcome，Mr Dog．（抬头看看挂在半空中的太阳）But I must go now．Im going to see my grandmother．
Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的头）Dont worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmothers home．
Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．
（Mr Dog驮着Little Duck一路欢歌笑语向外婆家跑去……）
成长的烦恼、走遍美国之类的都可以
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