如何更有说服力 如何让自己的话更有说服力

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What can be especially frustrating, as we watch these individuals almost effortlessly charm their way to getting what they want, is the realisation that they are no more talented or any more experienced than us. The only apparent difference is that they seem to have mastered the art of persuading others to give them what they want.在我们观察这样的人几乎毫不费劲地运用他们的方法得到想要的东西时，特别让人沮丧的是我们认识到他们与我们比起来并非更有才华或更有经验。唯一明显的差距在于他们似乎掌握了说服他人给他们想要的东西的艺术。当老板们发现有那么多有着类似背景、技能和经验的应聘者可供选择时，通常最有说服力的应聘者才是成功的那一个。因此，在当今充满竞争的职场中，我们影响和说服他人的能力从来没有如此重要过。With employers finding themselves spoiled for choice with an array of applicants all with similar backgrounds, skills and experience, often it's the most persuasive candidate that is the successful one. As a result, in today's competitive workplace our ability to influence and persuade others has never been so important. But before you resign yourself to thinking that all is lost because you are a persuasion lightweight, here is some good news. The ability to influence and persuade others is not gifted to a chosen few. Persuasion can be learned and researchers who study it have uncovered a set of rules for improving your powers of persuasion and moving people in your direction. Learning about these rules and honestly employing them can improve your chances of finding that great new job, getting the promotion you deserve, becoming a more effective networker and generally increasing your influence at work.在任凭自己以为说服力不行一切都完了之前，还有个好消息要告诉你。影响和说服他人的能力并非上天赐予特定的几个人。说服力可以学会，研究说服力的人员已经发现了一套提高说服力让人围着你转的规律。学习这些规律并诚实地利用这些规律可以让你有更多的机会找到好工作、获得你应有的升值、更有效地建立人脉关系并增加你在工作中的影响力。Whether it's a job interview, a pay review or a client meeting, here are five tips to help you get the outcome you want at work.无论是一个面试，还是薪资考核，亦或是会见客户，下面有5个诀窍可以忙你得到你想要的结果。1. Give first, and receive later1.先给予后索取If a friend of yours invites you to their house for dinner, you instinctively know that you should invite them back to your house at some point in the future. And if they remember your birthday with a gift, then you should remember theirs. Psychologists call this the reciprocity rule, and it is a rule that all societies honour. While we may intuitively use the rule with our nearest and dearest, people often forget that the reciprocity rule can be equally useful when dealing with our work colleagues as well as with people who we know less well or even not at all.如果你的一个朋友邀请你去他们家吃晚饭，你凭直觉就知道你该在以后的某个时间回请他们到你家。如果他们记得你的生日并给你送礼物，那么你也该记得他们的生日。心理学家把这种行为称为互惠原则，这是所有社会都遵循的原则。尽管我们会凭直觉把这一原则用在最亲最近的人身上，人们却常常忘记互惠原则在与同事以及不是很了解或干脆就不认识的人交往时也同样有用。One study conducted in restaurants found that waiters were able to persuade many more customers to leave them a tip by simply giving them a mint just before they placed the bill on the table. If they gave two mints not only did they increase the number of tips they received but also the size of the tip. Notice that the waiters' success was down to them being the first to give. When the mints are given after customers have paid their bill, then the effect is lost.在餐馆做的一项研究发现，服务生只是在把账单放到桌子上之前给顾客一块薄荷糖就能说服更多的顾客给他们小费。如果他们给两块薄荷糖，不但会得到更多的小费，每笔小费的数额也会大一些。要注意，服务生获得成功关键是先给予。顾客付完账后再给薄荷糖就没有这个效果了。Studies like these can provide some important lessons about persuasion. Effective persuaders don't ask themselves "who can help me?" but instead ask "whom can I help?" Providing first instils a sense of obligation in that person to help in return.这样的研究可以提供一些与说服力有关的重要经验。有效的说服者不不会问自己“谁能帮我？”，而是问“我能帮谁？”。先给予的做法可以灌输一种责任感给那个人，使其回过头来帮助对方。Lending a hand to a colleague or manager of another team when they need help will increase your chances of getting support from them when you need it. Taking the time to provide useful information to a recruitment consultant or even cheekily giving them a small gift might make the difference. A recruitment manager I know told me that he once found himself placing the CV of one particular candidate at the top of the selection he sent to employers. The reason? At their last meeting, the candidate had brought a box of home-made biscuits into the office.在另一个团队的同事或经理需要帮助的时候搭把手会增加你需要时获得他们支持的机会。花时间给招聘顾问提供有用的信息或者即使嬉皮笑脸地给他们一个小礼物也会有不一样的结果。我认识的一位招聘经理告诉我，他曾经发现自己把一个特别的应聘者的简历放在他送给老板的所有候选人简历的最上面。Persuasion tip: Be the first to give. Look to help others and build obligations that could lead to them helping you in return.说服窍门：先给予。留心帮助他人，构建会让他人回报你的约束力。2. Admit your weaknesses2.承认你的缺点Trust is a critical component to persuading a potential employer that you should get the job. Persuasion research suggests that one of the most effective ways to be seen as an honest and credible applicant is also one of the most surprising: admit a weakness in your application.信任是说服未来老板得到工作的关键因素。说服研究发现，被看作诚实可靠的应聘者的最有效的方法之一也是最令人惊讶的方法之一就是：在你的简历里承认你的一个缺点。In one study, several hundred CVs were sent in response to an advertisement, together with a covering letter from the "applicant". In fact, though, there were two versions of the covering letter. The first contained wholly positive information about why the applicant was best suited to the job. However, the second contained a small drawback about the applicant's suitability that appeared immediately before the candidate communicated the strongest reason why they were best suited for the job (maybe they had four years' experience rather than the desired five).在一项研究中，招聘广告吸引了几百份简历，每份简历都有“求职者”的求职信。实际上，有两个版本的求职信。第一个版本包含了关于为什么这个求职者最适合这份工作的所有正面信息。而第二个版本包含了求职者不适合这份工作的一个小缺点，这一点在求职者传达他最适合这项工作的最有力理由（或许他们只有四年的工作经验而不是要求的五年）之前立刻就出现了。The study authors concluded that the reason the second letter generated many more invitations to attend an interview was that the covering letter had gained a credibility and trustworthiness that the first did not.这项研究的发起人总结说，第二封信会带来更多参加面试的邀请，原因在于这封求职信赢得了第一封求职信没有赢得的信誉和信任。Persuasion tip: Be prepared to admit small weaknesses to build credibility.说服窍门：做好承认小缺点的准备以建立信誉。3. Highlight loss, not just gain3.不要只谈“得”，更要强调“失”The competition for that new job or promotion is intense and other applicants have similar skills and experience to you. How do you differentiate yourself? Persuasion experts suggest that you appeal to loss. Don't just talk about what your new employer will gain by giving you the job, but also respectfully point out what they stand to lose if they don't take you on. A study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior showed potential losses figure far more in a manager's decision-making than the same things presented as gains.新工作或升职的竞争很激烈，别的候选人和你有着相似的技能和经验。你怎样才能使自己与众不同呢？说服专家建议，你要求助于“失”。不要只谈论你的新老板雇佣你会得到什么，而是要客气地指出如果不录用你他们会损失什么。在《组织行为》期刊上进行的一次研究显示，在经理决策中，潜在的损失远比作为“得到”提交的同样的事情更加醒目。Persuasion tip: Never forget to point out to potential employers and managers that your skills, experience and uniqueness will be lost if they don't consider your application seriously.说服窍门：永远不要忘记给未来老板和经理指出如果他们不认真考虑你的申请，就会失去你的技能、经验和独特性。4. Use the testimony of others4.利用他人的证言In Yes! 50 Secrets from the Science of Persuasion, a book I co-authored, we describe a study proving that, compared with the standard environmental message, many more hotel guests will reuse their towels if the little card in the bathroom tells them that previous guests reused theirs.在我和别人合著的《说服学》一书的《是的！50个秘密》中描写的一项研究证明，与标准环境信息相比较，如果旅馆浴室里的小卡片告诉顾客以前的顾客重复使用了他们的毛巾，更多的顾客也会重复使用他们的毛巾。This is because people will often look to what others are doing or saying when deciding what decision to make. This is especially true in situations of uncertainty or when several choices are available.这是因为人们做决定时通常会留意他人在做什么或说什么。在存在不确定性的情况下或者有多个选择时尤其如此。These little cards don't just make a difference to the environment – they could also make a difference to your employment prospects. Providing examples of what others are saying about your suitability and skills is extremely persuasive and the more you have, the more your influence rises.这些小卡片不仅仅使环境有所不同----也可能让你的就业前景有所不同。举例说明别人对你的适合性和技能的评价十分有说服力，这样的例子越多，你的影响力增长的就越大。

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