希望有好心人帮我把这篇英语范文完善一下 希望好心人帮我翻译一下这篇英文签证文章,谢谢善良人.急用~~
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\u4e0b\u9762\u662f\u6211\u81ea\u5df1\u6539\u7684\uff0cToday,
my
topic
is
my
hero.
My
hero
is
Hocking.
As
the
saying
goes,
people
should
find
a
hero
who
can
make
up
for
his
own
shortcomings.
And
the
direction
to
move
forward
is
clear
and
firm.
My
self-control
is
bad.
I
always
cannot
resist
the
temptation,
and
give
up
learning.
But
Hocking
has
better
self-control.
Although
he
is
disabled,
he
did
not
give
up
himself
and
worked
hard.
At
last
,he
become
a
famous
scientist.
In
university,
illness
never
stoped
him.
He
still
persevered
in
his
research.
He
finally
became
a
giant.
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\u90a3\u4e2a\u65f6\u5019\u3002\u901a\u5e38\u60c5\u51b5\u4e0b\u7b7e\u8bc1\uff08\u661f\u671f\u65e5\uff09\u5c06\u57285:00\u53d1\u51fa\u7684\u90a3\u4e00\u5929\u3002\u7684\u540d\u5355\u516c\u4f17\u5047\u671f\u89c2\u5bdf\u5230\u8fd9\u4e2a\u529e\u516c\u5ba4\u53ef\u88ab\u89c6\u4e3a\u5bf9\u6211\u4eec\u7684\u7f51\u7ad9\uff1a www.hongkona.gc.ca \u3002
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2008\u5e744\u6708
楼主，真不好意思，我原本想一句一句给您改的.但是我发现我无法进行下去。我不是说我的英语水平有多好，只是以一个阅读者的角度来看这篇文章，到处都是套词。。。大量的篇幅都用在这个上面了，我的意思是把内容idea扩充，即使用最平常的语言。
文章内容：
从文章看 观点句子是In my opinion, we can bring mobile phones to school.
要支持这个论点 可以解释为什么带手机 1 遇到危险时 处理紧急情况 在写个例子 比如生病了及时求助 2 与家人保持联系 尤其是住宿的高中生 3 解压 例子：游戏娱乐 4 搜索更多的信息 新闻 与时俱进
用几个分论点支持主论点，一几个例子支持分论点
在句子结构方面：
多变的开头，以名词 动名词 介词短语 时间状语
多变的句式，限定性从句，非限定性从句，定语从句，if条件状语从句。。
注意时态
以上为个人观点，希望对楼主有用。
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绛旓細Best wishes!yours
绛旓細Last summer,Lucy and lily went to Beijing by plane together.In there,they visited the Great Wall,and the Summer Palace as well.Beijing is really a big and fascinating city,so they took many photos .In the end of the travel,they bought some souvenirs,and ate the famous Peking ...
绛旓細one, he filled the stones into the bottle.Now he could drink the water at last. How happy he was!From the story ,we can learn that if we want to succeed, we have to make up our mind and keep trying and never give up. We will succeed in the end.鏈涢噰绾筹紝澶氬姞鍒嗗晩銆
绛旓細鎴戝湪閲戣瀺鑻辫璇句笂瀛﹀埌鐨 褰撲粖鐨勪笘鐣屾槸缁忔祹鐨勪笘鐣岋紝鍦ㄨ繖涓厖婊￠噾铻嶅嵄鏈虹殑褰撲唬绀句細锛屾垜浠渶瑕佺敤鏇翠负涓撲笟鐨勮嫳璇繘琛屾矡閫氥傛垜寰堝簡骞稿鏍″紑璁句簡閲戣瀺鑻辫杩欓棬璇俱傞氳繃杩欓棬璇撅紝鎴戜笉浠呮彁楂樹簡鑻辫姘村钩锛屼篃涓板瘜浜嗛噾铻嶇煡璇嗭紝鎻愰珮浜嗕氦娴佽兘鍔涖傚湪杩欓棬璇句笂锛屾垜瀵归噾铻嶃佽瘉鍒搞佷俊璐枫佷細璁°佺粡娴庛佺粺璁＄殑鐭ヨ瘑鏇村姞鐔熺粌锛岃秴瓒...
绛旓細the engineer of human's soul there are various kinds of teachers in the world.let's just get straight to the topic.the teachers i like best are those that can be your friends and in fact they are your guiders.the perfect teachers are that they just want you to be a ...
绛旓細Meet fun program, I will hard to clap hands, put my hands beat red!The most unforgettable thing or the closing performance after the garden activities, only the fourth, fifth and sixth grade students to participate in. In the fifth and sixth grade some big brother and big sister...
绛旓細绗竴绡 Bicycles in China Bicycles are very popular in China. In this country you can see bicycles almost everywhere. When you walk on the road, you will find a lot of people riding bicycles to school, shop, and wherever the riders want to go. Therefore, China is known as "...
