渴望英语高手修改作文
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Task 2 Improve the paragraph below.
This is a story about a young man by the name of BoydeBridge. Who lived in New Zealand one hundred and forty years ago. Boyde sailed to New Zealand from England in 1858. To seek his fortune. His wealthy father had given him a large amount of money. To buy a farm so that he could live a comfortable and prosperous life of the English landed gentry in a far-off land.
Life in the colonies, however, was very hard and rough. And Bridges was young and inexperienced. He quickly fell in with the wrong company. And before long most of his money was gone. Bridges had made one friend, though. A man called Bill Jones, who worked as an apprentice blacksmith. Bill was an honest, hard-working fellow. Quite different in character from Boyde. Nevertheless, the two became friends.
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Today,I arrived at my grandparents’home at ten o’clock.I greet mygrandfarther.Then,I drank a bottle of milk.Next,I started study chemistry.At 12 o’clock.I felt hungry.I ate a bowl of rice、some chicken and vegetable.Finally I have a nap.
改的一般，觉得句型太单一了，多使用短语和多种时态。
In the afternoon.I went back to home.编辑回答或插入图片，请点击标题到问题详情页
Yesterday ,I went to my grandparents' home and studied chemistry.
Today, I arrive at my grandparents' home at ten o'clock. I greet my grandfather. after that, I drink a bottle of milk.Then ,I start studying chemistry.
At 12 o'clock , I felt hungry , Iate a bowl of rice , some chicken and vegetables .Then I took a nap.
In the afternoon , I go back to home.
我个人认为此文最大的问题不是在於遣词用字,而是缺乏连贯性( coherent) .如果你在作文上有一定的造诣,你就会发现作文有三点十分重要: Clear , Coherent and Correct ,简称3C.当然这篇作文有更好的vocab可以替代，令文章生色不少
中文意思：昨天，我去了我的grandparents'home，研究化学。今天，我来到了我的grandparents'home十点。我迎接mygrandfarther。以后，我喝了一瓶牛奶。然后，我开始学习化学。12点clock.felt饿了。我吃了一碗饭、一些鸡肉和蔬菜。然后我有小睡一会儿。在下午，我回到了家里。
（知道意思后自己可以修改吧）
My Weeken
Yesterday is my first holiday in the weeken.I was missing my grandparents very much,so i went to their home on the mornming.my grandparents were very gald to see me ,and i played with the children in their home.I had a wonderful time in that morning.But the afternoon ,i studyed chemistry as usuall.
Today,my grandfarther cooked by himself for lunch.It was a great delisious meal.I ate a bowl of rice,some chicken and vegetable,i liked my grandfarther's cook!Time flied ,it was time to say good bye to my my grandparents,I went back home with my parents in the afternoon.
I like my weeken with my grandparents,i am looking forward to seeing them next weeken.
本人海外……
Yesterday,I went to my grandparents’home,and studied chemistry.
Today,I arrived at my grandparents’home at ten o’clock.I greet grandfarther.After then,I drank a glass of milk.Then,I started study chemistry.
At 12 o’clock.I felt hungry. So I ate some chicken,vegetable and a bowl of rice .Then I had a nap until afternoon.I went back to my home.
记得要用过去式啊……
绛旓細In the afternoon.I went back to home.缂栬緫鍥炵瓟鎴栨彃鍏ュ浘鐗囷紝璇风偣鍑绘爣棰樺埌闂璇︽儏椤
绛旓細work hard and we can learn English well.
绛旓細Hello,Mr Wang. I got my grade report and know my English is very poor.I do want to improve my English and have tried in many ways but I have not much progress so I was very worried about it .I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice on how to learn Engl...
绛旓細you can accept ourselves, to see their own value, and it is true hero, true hero. Therefore, the benefits of failure is ecbolic the true wisdom soul. Not to learn from the lessons of failure,
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绛旓細鑻辫浣滄枃鑼冩枃 It was the second day of our summer holiday. I felt good. I felt I am free. I had a lot of time to do things I like. My parents are in Zhongshan. So I live alone but I don鈥檛 feel lonely. But I didn鈥檛 do something special. I stayed at home and...
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绛旓細Western Valentine's Day together, this is how happy thing. Evening, I was home, and family members in conjunction with the Spring Festival Gala, my favorite is the Little Tigers program performance, as well as the many pleasant songs. Made deep impression on me. I love it....
绛旓細hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.鏃犺鏄60宀佽繕鏄16宀侊紝浣犻渶瑕佷繚鎸佹案涓嶈“绔殑濂藉蹇冦佹案涓嶇唲鐏殑瀛╂彁鑸眰鐭ョ殑娓存湜鍜岃拷姹備簨涓氭垚鍔熺殑娆箰涓庣儹鎯呫傚湪浣犳垜鐨勫績搴曪紝鏈変竴搴ф棤绾跨數鍙帮紝瀹冭兘鍦ㄥ闀挎椂闂撮噷鎺ユ敹鍒颁汉闂翠竾鐗╀紶閫掓潵鐨勭編濂姐佸笇鏈涖佹涔愩侀紦鑸...
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