谁提供一篇英语的短文啊要搞笑而又有意义的?急 谁能提供一篇英文幽默短文
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Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
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译：有一个教派的领导人宣称，他靠空气就能存活。一个表示怀疑的人说：“我昨天还看到你在麦当劳吃薯条。”这个领导者回答：“你不能称那东西为食物！！”
2.An elementary school teacher asked a student why he was late.He replied,"A nearby sign said:Shool ahead,slow down,go slow,"so that's what i did.
译：一个小学老师问一个学生为什么迟到。他回答说：“附近有一个标志写着前方有学校，减速，慢行。”所以我就照此做了.....
这是我非常喜爱的一个小故事.每次给小朋友读这个故事,他们都喊着,”Again, again, please!” Aronld Nobe的故事言简意赅,人物刻划得很深刻.对做自己很想做的事, 我想每个人都需要 WILL POWER意志力去告诉自己不能再做了.
Cookies
Arnold Nobel
Toad bakes some cookeies.
“These cookies smell very good,” said Toad.
He ate one.
“Toad ran to Frog’s house.
“Frog, Frog,” cried Toad,
“”taste these cookies that I have made.”
Frog ate one of the cookies.
“These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog.
Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another.
“You know, Toad,” said Frog, with his mouth full,
“I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick.”
“You are right,” said Toad.
“Let us eat one last cookie.” And then we will stop.”
Frog and Toad ate one last cookie. There were many cookies left in the bowl.
“Frog,” said Toad,
“let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop.”
Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie.
“We must stop eating!” cied Toad as he ate another.
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie,
“we need will power.”
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do,” said Frog.
“You mean like trying not to eat all of these cookies?” asked Toad.
“Right,” said Frog.
Frog put the cookies in a box.
“There,” he said.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true.” Said Frog.
Frog tied some string around the box.
“There,” he said.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf.
“There,” said Frog.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box. Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a loud voice,
“HEY BIRDS. HERE ARE COOKIES!’
Bids came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away.
“Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly.
“Not even one.”
“Yes,” said Frog.
“but we have lots and lots of will power.”
“You may keep it all, Frog,” said Toad.
“I am going home now to bake a cake”
绛旓細鑻辫骞介粯鎼炵瑧鐭枃 涓銆丄n elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven.涓涓佸緥甯堝氨瑕佹浜嗐備竴澶╀粬鍛婅瘔浠栧瀛愶紝浠栨兂鍒颁簡涓涓姙娉曞彲浠ユ妸浠栨墍鏈夌殑閽卞甫鍘诲ぉ鍫傘侶e told his wife to put all...
绛旓細1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".姹ゅ鐨勫熷彛 鑰佸笀锛氭堡濮嗭紝鎮ㄤ负浠涔堟瘡澶╀笂瀛﹁繜鍒帮紵姹ゅ锛氭垜姣忔璺繃鎷愯锛屼竴涓矾鏍囦笂闈㈠啓鐫锛"瀛︽牎---鎱㈣銆"DID YOUR DAD...2)Tom call Jim'...
绛旓細Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in...
绛旓細鏈夎叮鐨鑻辫鐭枃鏈夌炕璇戠瘒1 Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."涓や釜鑻忔牸鍏颁慨濂冲垰鍒氬潗鑸规潵鍒扮編鍥斤紝鍏朵腑涓涓慨濂冲鍙﹀涓涓锛“鎴戝惉璇磋繖涓浗瀹剁殑浜轰滑鏄悆鐙楄倝鐨勩”...
绛旓細The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth...
绛旓細璋佽兘鎸囧嚭鍝彧鏄嚂瀛,鍝彧鏄夯闆鍚? 瀛︾敓:鎴戞寚涓嶅嚭,浣嗘垜鐭ラ亾绛旀銆 鑰佸笀:璇疯璇寸湅銆 瀛︾敓:鐕曞瓙鏃佽竟鐨勫氨鏄夯闆,楹婚泙鏃佽竟鐨勫氨鏄嚂瀛愩 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 楸肩綉 ...
绛旓細And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door."Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get...
绛旓細Now I have a new plan for using my time wisely. I have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour. This will give me a head start on the day. I have also decided to keep a log of what I do and when I do it. Looking back on what I鈥檝e done will give me some ideas...
绛旓細1銆亀hat鈥檚 puberty(闈掓槬鏈)One evening,in the midst of dinner preparation,our 10-year-old daughter asked,"Mommy,what鈥榮 puberty?"My wife was rushed at the moment,so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary,after which they could talk about it.A few minutes...
绛旓細涓嶈兘褰撶埜鐖镐簡锛堣秴绾х粡鍏鎼炵瑧鑻辫鐭枃锛塗he World's Greatest Swordsman At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman,the third-place fencer took the stage.A fly was released,and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.The crowd cheered.Then the second-place man sliced ...
