逐句分析的追加5-10分，求帮修改作文，写错语法错误需要改正的地方，15分满分能打几分？麻烦.考四级
\u9010\u53e5\u5206\u6790\u7684\u8ffd\u52a05-10\u5206\uff0c\u6c42\u5e2e\u4fee\u6539\u4f5c\u6587\uff0c\u5199\u9519\u8bed\u6cd5\u9519\u8bef\u9700\u8981\u6539\u6b63\u7684\u5730\u65b9\uff0c15\u5206\u6ee1\u5206\u80fd\u6253\u51e0\u5206\uff1f....\u51c6\u5907\u8003\u56db\u7ea7\u7684nowdays\u2014\u2014nowadays \uff0c agrowing ------a growing
instead of spend \u2014\u2014instead of spending \u52a8\u540d\u8bcd
people's opinions are vary------people's opinions are varied\u88ab\u52a8\u8bed\u6001
that should people killing time indoors------whether people should kill time indoors \u540c\u4f4d\u8bed\u4ece\u53e5\uff0c\u4e14\u4ece\u53e5\u7528\u79f0\u8ff0\u53e5\u987a\u5e8f
the person who agree -------the person who agrees , \u8fd9\u91ccperson\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba
others who hold the different opinion may worry------worry about
it is harm to their body and mind ------it is harmful to their bodies and minds \u8981\u7528\u5f62\u5bb9\u8bcdbody \u548cmind\u7528\u590d\u6570
will good for us-----will be good for us
we staying -----we are staying
both our body and mind \u590d\u6570
\u7528\u7684\u5927\u90e8\u5206\u662f\u4f4e\u7ea7\u8bcd\u6c47\uff0c\u800c\u4e14\u9519\u8bef\u6bd4\u8f83\u591a\uff0c\u5927\u69827\u5206\u5de6\u53f3
\u670b\u53cb\uff0c\u8fd9\u7bc7\u6587\u7ae0\u5e94\u8be5\u8d85\u4e0d\u8fc79\u5206\u3002\u7406\u7531\uff1a\u9996\u5148\u8fd8\u662f\u8981\u606d\u559c\u4f60\u4e00\u4e0b\u7684\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a4\u30017\u30018\u30019\u8fd9\u51e0\u53e5\u57fa\u672c\u4e0a\u6ca1\u95ee\u9898\u3002\u4e0d\u8db3\u4e4b\u5904\uff1a\u7b2c\u4e00\u3001\u4e8c\u53e5\u90fd\u662f\u7f3a\u4e4f\u8c13\u8bed\u7684\uff1b\u7b2c\u4e09\u53e5\u5e94\u7528\u8fde\u8bcdand \u4e32\u8d77\uff0c\u4e0d\u7136\u5c31\u6210\u4e86\u4e2d\u5f0f\u82f1\u8bed\u4e86\uff1b\u7b2c\u4e94\u53e5\u7684\u8f6c\u6298\u8bcd\u5e94\u8be5\u662fhowever \u8868\u793a\u8f6c\u6298\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a\u4f60\u524d\u9762\u8bf4\u7684\u662f\u597d\u7684\u65b9\u9762\uff0c\u63a5\u4e0b\u6765\u8bf4\u7684\u4e0d\u597d\u7684\u65b9\u9762\uff1b\u7b2c\u516d\u53e5\u4e0d\u7528are\uff0c\u5426\u5219call for \u5c31\u4e0d\u662f\u8c13\u8bed\uff0c\u53c8\u53d8\u6210\u6ca1\u8c13\u8bed\u7684\u4e86\u3002
\u4fee\u6539\u7248\uff1a\uff081\uff09 In recent years, many talent-search shows are held on campus, which has been brought into focus. \uff082\uff09Many students are eager to take part in the talent-seach shows on campus,such as "Happy boy"\u3001\u201cBeautiful girl\u201d and so on.
( 3 ) As we all know,talent-search shows make our college life more colorful and bring great influence to us. ( 4 ) They can not only increase our confidence ,but also provide a chance for us to show ourselves completely. ( 5 ).However,they may bring some negative effects at the same time. ( 6 )these shows call for so much time that students have no time to concentrate on their studies.
( 7 ) From my opinion of view, every coin has two sides and so do talent-search shows. ( 8 )As college students. we should attend various activities positively when we have time, but we can't spend too much time to do that.( 9 )We should keep a balance between our our study and acitvities .
首先第一行 a growing 要分开 instead of 是介词短语，spend要加ing变成spending
第四行 are vary中的are要去掉，vary本身是动词，就不用are了
第五行 killing要变成kill动词原形，因为前面是should助动词，后接动词原形。
倒数第五行 harm要变成harmful ，is harmful to是一个固定搭配，意思是对什么有害。 body要变成bodies，因为前面是their，复数。 把and mind if 换成because of因为，这样就能更通顺，其他持不同观点的人或许会担心这对他们的身体有害处，因为缺乏体育锻炼和人与人之间面对面的沟通。
倒数第三行 for most of day中for后面要加个the will后面要加be
倒数第二行 if we staying中的staying要去掉ing
15分满分的话能打9到10分的。
我也是过来人，你这篇文章尽管有一些语法错误，但总体还是不错的，四级对英语水平的要求不是太高，所以只要字迹整洁，还是能取得不错的成绩的。加油啊！
Nowdays, a growing number of people tend to stay indoors instead of spending time outdoors,especially on holiday,some spend most time on chatting online,bloging and playing computer games. some spend their time on watching TV ,reading novels day and night.
people's opinions vary from person to person when asked the question that whether people should kill time indoors(此处应该用陈述，不应用疑问), some people think that killing time indoors is good for them while others don't think so. people who agree to the former view may maintain that staying indoors is cheap,comfortable,and most important, it is very safe. others who hold the different view may worry that it is（will be也可以，但是我个人感觉用is比较好）harmful to their bodies and minds if lack physical exercise and face to face communication with others.
as far as i am concerned, i don't think staying indoors all day long is good for us. for one thing, we may lose the ability to get along with others if we staying indoors during the day.for another,we need to do physical exercise to keep health(to加不定式表目的), it also can build our body and mind.
我能改的就这些啦！
汗............我还是小学生
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