英语搞笑短剧，三四个人左右，别太难，要搞笑的！！五分钟左右，100分三日速求！！！ 搞笑小品剧本，3人，10分钟左右，一定要搞笑的，这是重点，别...
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Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever
come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
(内容大意：Shakey去看心理医生。
他说：医生，我感到很困扰。当我睡在床上时，总觉得有人在床下。当我在床下时，又觉得有人在床上。来回很多次。你一定要帮我，我就快要疯掉了。
医生：尽管将你交给我两年，每星期来三次。我就会治好你的恐惧。
他问：你收多少钱？
医生：每次＄100
他说：我会考虑一下
六个月后，医生在街上遇见Shakey。
医生就问：为甚麼你没有再来找我？
他说：你看一次要＄100？一个酒吧服务生给我治疗只收＄10。
医生：这样！他怎麼治你？
他说：他叫我切掉床的脚。）
↑
人物只有两个
你可以到这里找一个你喜欢的http://www.ahajokes.com/
Cathy 秦
Susan 桂
Angel and Servant 孔
Evil and Clerk 周
Aside 傅
Summary
Cathy很苗条，Susan很胖，她们是好朋友，不过却都羡慕对方……
This story is about two good friends Cathy and Susan. Cathy is a very thin girl; on the other hand, Susan is a very heavy girl. Therefore Cathy and Susan want to change themselves.
Scene I
(Cathy and Susan encounter each other on a street.)
Cathy: Hello, Susan. How are you?
Susan: I’m not doing well.
Cathy: Why not?
Susan: I’m too fat. I want to lose some weights.
Cathy: Really? But I want to become fat.
Susan: Are you crazy? Being fat is a terrible thing. Look at me. My abdomen：['?bd?men]腹部 looks like a swimming belt. It is so ugly.
(Cathy touches Susan’s abdomen：['?bd?men].)
Cathy: But it is tender 柔软的and makes me feel content.
Susan: You’re so kind. Your words make me happy.
Cathy: I’m serious, no kidding.
Susan: God! (Touches her own forehead and sigh)
Why are you not me and I am not you?
(Susan seems to intend doing something.)
Susan: We don’t like our figures and want to change ourselves, we can work hard together.
Cathy: It sounds good. I can help you and you can help me. That’s wonderful. (Saying loudly)
Susan: We begin planning right away.
Cathy: Uh! Let’s go.
Scene II
(Firstly Cathy brings Susan to a famous store named Trust me.)
Servant: Welcome! Do you want to take part in our class?
Cathy: Yes! We will.
Servant: Ok!
Susan: Why do you take me here?
Cathy: I see that “Trust me, you can make it” commercial on TV. It looks great. So I want to trust it and help you become thinner.
Susan: Oh…! Why do you also particular in?
Cathy: Because we are good friends, we should do it together. (Ha! Ha!)
(After several days)
Susan: Why? It’s no use to me, but you become much thinner. (Crying)
Cathy: I don’t want it, too. (Crying)
(The two girls are very angry to look the servant.)
Servant: It’s not my fault. (She escapes from the store.)
Scene III
(Later, Susan takes Cathy to McDonalds.)
Cathy: McDonalds?
Susan: Fast food has high calories. It is the best food to make you fat.
Clerk: May I help you?
Susan: I want to order four hamburgers, ten drumsticks鸡腿, five french fries and two cokes.
Clerk: What??
Cathy: Sorry, give us a minute. (Talks to the waiter)
(Cathy pulls Susan’s arm and moves to the side.)
Cathy: I can’t eat all of them.
Susan: The food is not just for you.
Cathy: Don’t you want to be thin?
Susan: Yes.
Cathy: You can’t eat them, because they will make you fat.
Susan: But I can’t oppose the attraction.
(Cathy gives Susan a look.)
Susan: Let me think.
(Suddenly, an angel and an evil appear.)
Evil: You can eat it. Anyway, you have time to lose weight.
Angel: If you eat them now, you would do the same thing next time. You will not lose any weight.
Evil: Listen to me. I’m right.
Angel: No, he’s wrong.
(Evil begins to fight against the angel.)
Susan: Enough! Go away! (Yells to the evil and the angel)
Cathy: Are you OK?
Susan: Uh! I decide to eat today.
Cathy: OK!
Susan: I want to order the same food that I ordered before.
Clerk: OK! Please wait a minute.
(They sit down and begin to eat.)
Cathy: Um…It’s so greasy油腻的. Do I have to eat this?
Susan: Yes, you must eat it. I can help you. (Susan takes food to stuff装;填Cathy’s mouth.) Poor girl!!!
Scene Four
(Angel and Evil appear again.)
Angel: Are you sure it’s good for her?
Evil: If you don’t believe me, you could see the result later.
Angel: I hope you are right.
(Several weeks later, they walk along the street.)
Susan: I’m so hungry. I want to eat.
Cathy: I’m so full. I want to vomit呕吐.
(They hug each other and cry loudly.)
Cathy: I don’t want to be fat.
Susan: I don’t want to be thin. (They say it at the same time.)
(Angel takes the evil that is rope appears.)
Angel: You use the wrong way to achieve your purposes. You need to ask a professional nutritionist.
Cathy and Susan: So…! (They look at each other with some special meaning, and then catch the angel’s leg.)
Cathy and Susan: You must know some shortcut to help us.
Cathy and Susan: We won’t let you go until you help us.
Angel: Oh, god!!
(Cathy and Susan chase the angel. The evil stays there.)
Evil: Oh!No!What has happened? (Shrug)
Cathy and Susan:Just be ourselves!
《生活大爆炸》
里面有很多片段可以选
如：Sheldon学汉语（尤其推荐）
百度一搜就有
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绛旓細鑻辫骞介粯鐭墽鍓ф湰The Pocket Money Scene1锛圓t Salesman鈥檚 home锛 N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu 鈥︹ He ...
绛旓細姹鎼炵瑧鐨鑻辫鐭墽 涓嶈兘澶煭鐨鐭墽,瑕佹槸鑻辨枃鐨,瀵硅瘽瑕佸,涓嶈兘澶鏃佺櫧鎴栨槸閬撳叿銆傚埆澶毦,浜涓嶈兘澶,鏈濂芥湁涓枃瑙ｉ噴,涓嶈繃娌℃湁涔熻鍟~瑕佹槸鍓ф湰鎾掆︹... 涓嶈兘澶煭鐨勭煭鍓,瑕佹槸鑻辨枃鐨,瀵硅瘽瑕佸,涓嶈兘澶鏃佺櫧鎴栨槸閬撳叿銆傚埆澶毦,浜轰笉鑳藉お澶,鏈濂芥湁涓枃瑙ｉ噴,涓嶈繃娌℃湁涔熻鍟~瑕佹槸鍓ф湰鎾掆︹ 灞曞紑 ...
绛旓細鈥滀汉鍦ㄦ睙婀栨紓鍟婏紝鍝湁涓嶆尐鍒鍟婏紝涓鍒鐮嶆浣犲晩锛屼袱鍒鐮嶆浣犲晩銆傘傝壋鍚涘掑湴 閼懌澶х瑧 鑹冲悰鐥涜嫤鐘讹細I'm dreaming? What happened? Why aren鈥檛 you hurt?閼懌: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? 锛堣耽涓涓汉闇瑕佺悊鐢变箞锛屼笉闇瑕佷箞锛岄渶瑕佷箞锛燂級鑹冲悰锛歁omma ...
