急需一份10分钟左右的搞笑英语短剧剧本。要新鲜点的。 需要一份10分钟左右5个人表演的英语幽默短剧本或者视频的地址...
\u6025\u9700\u4e00\u4efd\u82f1\u8bed\u5341\u4e94\u5206\u949f\u4ee5\u5185\u77ed\u5267\u5267\u672c \u5341\u4e00\u4eba \u7ecf\u5178\u641e\u7b11\u90fd\u53ef\u4eba\u7269\uff1aA\uff0c B\uff0c C
A\u548cB\u4e3a\u670b\u53cb
C \u4e3a\u5c0f\u5077
A and B waits for the bus with hands full of shopping bags. A carrying expensive LV handbag. C stands next to A.
The bus comes and all three board the bus.
A: I'm tired out from all that shopping!
B: Yeah but we managed to get quite a few good bargains!
C looks around, a little nervous. Stands closer to A
The road is a little bumpy and the stuffy air is somewhat uncomfortable. A turns to C
A(to C): Excuse me, sir. Can you stop leaning towards me?
C: sorry (move away)
B: Are you alright?
A: Yes, but he makes me feel uncomfortable.
B: Relax, we only have 2 more stops to go.
\u516c\u8f66\u7ee7\u7eed\u5411\u524d
C turn to A
C\uff1aMay I know which stop to alight to get to XX mall?
A is not sure and asks B, turning her head away from C. C took the chance to put his hand into A's handbag, A is oblivious as she/he is busy talking to B.
A: *give directions to C* take 4 more stops from here and alight, walk north until you see a McDonalds, and then turn right, you should see the shopping mall
C puts something into his bag
C: thank you.
C accidentally drops something from his bag
A: Wait a minute! What is my keychain doing in your bag?
C looks at A nervously
A: are you a pickpocket?
C: no...I...(door opens, C runs to the door)
B grabs C as C run past B
C: I'm sorry. I'm urgently in need of cash so...
A: Please return my purse and promise you would not do it again.
C: yes I promise.
B\uff1aalright, we'll let you off this time but don't let us catch you doing it again.
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4 Wives
N: narrator
M: merchant
W1: wife 1
W2: wife 2
W3: wife 3
W4: wife 4
N: There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
M: I also loved my 3rd wife very much. I\u2019m very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to my friends. However, I am always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
N: He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante.
W2: I am his second wife. Whenever he faced some problems, he always turned to me and I would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
W1: I am his first wife, a very loyal partner and have made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, he did not love me and although I loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of me.
N: One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself:
M: Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be! I will ask my 4th wife.
(to his 4th wife) Hey, darling, I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?
W4: No way! Goodbye, dying man!
M: Oh, her answer cut me like a sharp knife right into my heart. I am so sad. I will ask my 3rd wife.
(turn to 3rd wife) Sweetie, I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?
W3: No! Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!
M: I feel my heart sank and turned cold. I will ask my 2nd wife.
(turn to 2nd wife) Dear\uff0cI always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?
W2: I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time! At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.
M: Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and I am devastated.
W1: I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.
M: Oh my dear first wife, you are so skinny, almost like you suffered from malnutrition. I am greatly grieved, but I would say to you I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!
N: Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.
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Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?
S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.
N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
T: Let's go guys!( 歌)
S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.
E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.
J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.
T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.
T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.
T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet..
绛旓細涓鐢峰瓙杩涘叆鏁欏爞鍜屼笂甯濆璇.浠栭棶:"涓诲晩, 涓鐧句竾缇庡厓瀵逛綘鎰忓懗鐫澶氬皯?"涓婂笣鍥炵瓟:"涓渚垮＋."鐢峰瓙鍙堥棶:"閭ｄ竴鐧句竾骞村憿?"涓婂笣璇:"涓绉閽."鏈鍚庣敺瀛愯姹傞亾:"涓婂笣,鎴戣兘寰楀埌涓渚垮＋鍚?"涓婂笣鍥炵瓟:"杩囦竴绉掗挓."Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies...
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绛旓細銆婂瓟闆涓滃崡椋炪嬶紙鑻辨枃鎼炵瑧璇濆墽锛夋湰鏂囨潵鑷: 鎭掓槦鑻辫瀛︿範缃(www.Hxen.com) 璇︾粏鍑哄鍙傝冿細http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/2007-03-30/4960.htmlWanderseveryfivemiles 鐒︿徊鍗縅ohnny(Jforshort)鍒樺叞鑺滾unch(Lforshort)鐒︽瘝Johnny鈥檚mother(JMforshort)鍒樻瘝Lunch鈥檚mother(LMforshort)澶畧涔嬪瓙Mayor鈥...
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绛旓細杩欎釜鏄垜鏍规嵁涓涓晠浜嬫敼缂栫殑锛屾湁5涓汉鐗╁拰涓涓В璇达紝宸笉澶10鍒嗛挓锛岃鐪嬭〃婕旀椂鏄惁鏈夊姩浣滅瓑銆4 Wives N: narrator M: merchant W1: wife 1 W2: wife 2 W3: wife 3 W4: wife 4 N: There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with ...
绛旓細10銆佹垚鍔熺殑姣嶄翰鏄け璐,鎴愬姛鐨勭埗浜叉槸姹楁按銆 Successful mother is a failure, the success of the father is sweat. 11銆佷綘鏇剧粡鏈夋病鏈夋妸鏌愪汉鐨勮璇村叏閮ㄧ湅瀹屽嵈浠庝笉璇勮銆 Have you ever read someone's talk all but never comment. 12銆佸埆浜虹殑閽辫储涔冩垜鐨勮韩澶栦箣鐗! Money is not everything! 13銆佷竴灞变笉鑳...
绛旓細"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."濂藉瀛 灏忕綏浼壒鍚戝濡堣涓ゅ垎閽便傗滄槰澶╃粰浣犵殑閽卞共浠涔堜簡锛熲濃滄垜缁欎簡涓涓彲鎬滅殑鑰佸お濠嗭紝鈥濅粬鍥炵瓟璇淬 鈥滀綘鐪熸槸涓...
绛旓細銆婂瓟闆涓滃崡椋炪嬶紙鑻辨枃鎼炵瑧璇濆墽锛塛anderseveryfivemiles 鐒︿徊鍗縅ohnny(Jforshort)鍒樺叞鑺滾unch(Lforshort)鐒︽瘝Johnny鈥檚mother(JMforshort)鍒樻瘝Lunch鈥檚mother(LMforshort)澶畧涔嬪瓙Mayor鈥檚son(MSforshort)寮虹洍Burglars(ABandC)Prologue (J浣滆鎵撶姸璺戜笂鍙,鍐呯牳鍑轰竴鍗风焊绛,J琚墦涓,鐙肩媹涓嶅牚)J:Everybody...
